HOOPS
The Western Conference won and MJ is still retiring. Tune in next week where I�ll attempt to add more to the 2002-2003 NBA Season.
COLLEGE HOOPS
Two weeks ago, PITT was an iota from reaching the #1 seed. Now, as #7, they�re losing to unranked teams like Seton Hall. Come on! I�m upset over Mr. Perfect�s death too, but I�m getting stuff done. It�s what Curt would have wanted!
HOCKEY
Today, former Pens star Jaromir Jagr turns 31, which makes him two months and two days older than Jennifer Garner.
WRESTLING
Speaking of Curt Henning, it truly is sad to see him leave us. I never thought I�d be saying that his final WWE run was not the best Curt could give us.
Either way, Curt Henning passed away this week. What a shame. And they found him in the same way that they found Rick Rude. What a total blow! I can�t help but to think that all the decent wrestlers that are about to make a great final WWE run, or actually win the World Championship one last time are dying at such young ages. RIP Curt.
POLITICS
Is it me, or is W the only one for war against Iraq? Maybe it�s just me, but I�m pretty much on the other end of the �for war� spectrum. Also, the thing with putting duct tape on our windows and plastic on our windows and doors was the silliest idea that I have ever heard of. I�m sorry, but it is; maybe it�s just me, but either way, come on!
All it was going to do was to make us look worried, which is what the opposition wants. Meanwhile, they�re busy laughing at us for taking these worthless precautions over a possible chemical attack. Even I was laughing at the thought of people taking action! Seriously, if I paid the price for it, then that�s that. And experts said that the duct tape and plastic would not have worked. Also, I�m lazy sometimes, especially for not-so-important things.
MY GAME
It�s all tallied up. Results will probably surface tomorrow. It was a tough week, and Ben Affleck was a no show. That, and Fred Armisen appearing in a lot of stuff tonight probably resulted in the 234 total points and the 16.71 average. Well, I�m sure that the scores will go up next week, unless they decide not to do �The Continental.� That would be no good. I already have to apologize for the people who selected Wake Up Wakefield to surface next week. It would have helped some people had we known about some spoilers from the show, guarantee or no guarantee. Nevertheless, you all did well, and yes, we have a new champion this time around. So, if you�ve won the game at least once since the Drew Barrymore show, then you�re not the winner this week. Sorry.
THE SHOW
I guess the show was watchable. While I would have rated this (on a scale of 0-10) a 7 or 8, I�d have to say it was a 5 or 6 since it�s sweeps. Well, maybe I�ll give the cast and crew the benefit of the doubt. For the sake of trying to be a leader and trying not to be a follower, I identify Jennifer as J GA as opposed to JG, Wanda or �Agent� Bristow.
And now, the review
BUSH
I don�t really care what other people think or say about Chris Parnell�s Bush. I like it, and I think it�s great. Even Will Ferrell said so himself! That�s saying a lot. I�m pretty sure that if Parnell played Bush in the first place, no one would say anything. People need to stop crying. Other than a cameo or as a host, Will Ferrell is NOT coming back! Period!
89/100
MONOLOGUE
For a second, after saying she didn�t do so all week, I thought J GA was going to pull a Katie Holmes-to-WIF and nail Kattan in his �sacred� section. Then again, it probably would not have had any effect on Chrissy. As for the monologue, I could tell a mile away that people were going to come on and help J GA out on her monologue because she isn�t funny. Of course, with Walken hosting next week, they have to take a jab ahead of time and have the men sing with the female host since the women will be singing with Walken next week, unless that doesn�t occur either. Once again, Tracy saves the sketch from a bad score, just by being in it.
75/100
CLAPPIN
The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this, it was taking a stab at Chicago. Then again, maybe it was, but what do I care. This stuff was pretty good!
93/100
LIGHTS OUT
I don�t know. I don�t have any comment on this sketch. Just to be fair�
76/100
GO BACK TO BED WAKEFIELD
I�m actually surprised that Jimmy didn�t appear in this. One would assume that he would and bet everything on it, since SNL can�t go without HOS and JIF showing up in a sketch together. Well, maybe it should not come as a surprise that Jimmy wasn�t in this. This is live TV folks; you never know what�s gonna happen. However, Rachel and J GA doing some HLA stuff is really hot a great idea. Well, I�d say half and half.
50/100
OSAMA AND SADDAM
This wasn�t too bad, probably because several people out there will be guessing for the rest of their lives what the hell the joke was in this. And at the same time, other people will be guessing whether or not this show is a rerun from 1991. They wouldn�t be able to tell because it a HOS/JIF sketch!
80/100
SOAP OPERA WANNABE
Come on Chris. Enough with this stuff already! There�s only one Terry Sweeney. Don�t be afraid. Why don�t you tell the media what we already know? No surprise!
39/100
DOUBLE DATE
Happy birthday Jaromir Jagr! Hope you like crap!
0/100
WEEKEND UPDATE
This was a pretty great Update. While Jimmy cracked up at the Screetch thing, I would have myself. That just came completely out of nowhere. Jeff Richards was great, the Tracy thing was funny as hell, Chris Parnell rapping was better than the stuff that�s out today, and this review is almost over because I have to get this in by Sunday instead of Thursday, where I�ll have more time to write a bigger recap of the show! Once again, this helped several people in my game.
100/100
MUSIC
Beck was OK, I guess, but not as good as in the past.
86/100
MICHAEL JACKSON IN A TREE
Just when you thought you�d see Dean Edwards in a tree, Amy Poheler is in the role of Jacko. I don�t care what other people think, Amy as Michael was the funniest thing today�s show had to offer, except for maybe WU and CLAPPIN. It�s pretty bad for a celebrity and funny as hell for me and everyone else when a while women portrays a black man, especially when you and I know the actress has blonde hair and blue eyes, but might be darker than Michael Jackson anyway even though the actress might not be �tanned� at all. Yeah, it seems as if Dean should have been in this the whole time, but it really didn�t matter; he showed up as Michael Jackson anyway! Rachel as Liz Taylor was not bad, and J GA as Lisa Marie was right on point.
94/100
MUSIC
Beck was OK, I guess, but not as good as in the past.
86/100
THE BIG WAL-MART
You know it�s close to end of the show and they still ran out of material when you see crap like this in February. Well, it�s better than some other things this year, and because J GA is a great actress and was in Catch Me If You Can�
72/100
JACK HANDY
Short and Sweet
92/100
AVERAGE 74.43
The cast should be happy it got such a high mark on this. I said that I would be lenient. When this show makes it to SYN, the following will be cut.
CLAPPIN
MICHAEL JACKSON IN A TREE
WEEKEND UPDATE
WAKE UP WAKEFIELD
Well, next week is Christopher Walken, and I don�t know what to expect there. Probably a TRL sketch, or maybe another Sully and Denise sketch, and definitely The Continental. I guess well find out.
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