TOP STORY
I�m going back to Cincinnati for Easter weekend. While drinking all weekend here would have been great, I�m glad that I didn�t stick around town. I�m here more than enough already. Plus, I haven�t been there since mid 2001.
Anyway, I�m out of here this weekend, and after this live show, no more SNL for two weeks. Even better news: when SNL returns, it�s all about the home stretch. That� three shows to watch, three shows to recap, and three SNL PGS to run, plus the season recap, SNL PG season recap, and the SNL PG awards.
Other than that, not much has happened this week. Connie Rice eventually stood up for herself, and while some of the things said were probably legit, what led to 9/11, or rather any steps taken to avoid 9/11 and lack there of were inexcusable. People are afraid to fly, and are afraid to be in tall buildings. This didn�t help at all.
Anyway, I think it�s now legit to avoid risky areas, because it�s obvious that no one is safe, and besides, you shouldn�t trust anybody. In the end, go to church during the holiday season (and if you read this after 4/11, you should have gone to church this past weekend! Go because it�s right and not because it�s a loophole, because you may not enjoy the outcome as much as possible if that�s what it�s all about.
Well, it looks as if the Apprentice is going to be around for quite some time. I�m thinking the next couple of seasons. It did well now, and it�s only a matter of time before it really gets popular. Of course, it�ll come as no surprise if it�s overdone. The best advice here: don�t change anything. If it ain�t broke, don�t fix it.
WEATHER AND SPORTS
Two words to describe this: Fuckin� awesome. UCONN winning was just what we all needed here. That and decent weather, considering how it rained the entire previous week! At least I got stuff done, except for the stuff I didn�t get done since I wasn�t feeling too well.
MY GAME
As of right now, I don�t know who won the game, nor do I know of any of the picks. Basically, I�m leaning toward running two games per show in the future, to better benefit everyone. These days, it�s so difficult to get the LFNY pick, the Cold Opening Pick, and the WU pick all at once. Basically, Larry is walking out with the title, because it�s worth so much, especially when it came from the highest scoring show this season.
Every so often, you�ll get the unexpected individual opening the show, or you�ll get so many people in the Cold Opening that no one would think to put that many into their pick. Or you�ll have only the Weekend Update Anchorpersons and no one else, while on another day, they�ll be like 10 people in the segment. Even with two games, it�ll be difficult to hit all three multiplier points.
It�s been done before. Several times. But right now, 17 shows removed, it�s only happened once. Therefore, barring it�ll happen again, Larry�s going to be the MVP. Of course, there�s no guarantee he�ll be overthrown even if it happens. FWIW, Larry could hit all three again before the season�s out.
No matter what, you all have been doing great this season. Yeah, everyone has had his or her downfalls, but you all managed to keep such a pretty respectable average. Keep it up! There are just three more shows left.
THE SHOW
Should be a great one, only because Janet is currently labeled as one to cause havoc, based on Superbowl XXXVIII.
I�m too tired to do any flashbacks; therefore we now go directly to the review.
CONNIE RICE:
Of course it comes as no surprise that they were going to do a Condoleezza Rice testimony. Also, no surprise that Darrell was going to be in the segment! However, for some reason, I wasn�t 100% sure that we�d be getting a MAR Rice impression. As of right now, I have no idea of the different results from the SNL Players Prediction Game, but I�m guessing that the most popular prediction would be to choose MAR. Believe it or not, I would not have been surprised had Simon surfaced as Rice.
When all was said and done, I was left to reminisce about how the times of 80s Michael Jackson was as great as sliced bread, while a couple others were left kicking themselves for not waiting a week to choose the host as the person opening the show. Eventually, I�m pretty sure someone went for broke and chose Janet, so as to channel the one person not to choose Trump as the person opening the show. Fortunately, it�s not who opens the show that makes the first segment; it�s the first segment that makes the first segment. And this first segment was excellent! Despite the return of the political segments, it felt like the return of the early 90s political openings.
Funny how they threw in a character break routine, which helped explain the fact that Janet was better for the role here.
100/100
Credits. If you�ve been watching the show for the past six years, in addition to being a loyal viewer for at least 15-20 years before that, you�d know that it�s no longer a surprise that special guests don�t ever get mentioned in the montage anymore. Yet, they spent the entire week pimping Simon�s appearance on the show. In the end, it was only a cameo. But, look back at people like Tracey Morgan (this episode being another example with his appearance that I�ll soon find out), John McEnroe, and Dan Aykroyd. They appeared in more segments than some SNL players of any particular episode, and they didn�t receive any mention at all. Dan used to (including 1988, 1995, and 1998) [Auto edit from Snlspy: Not 1988; it was only a cameo]. But for some reason, they stopped. Unless they surface in the opening montage, it�s only a cameo. I know (or think I know) that Joel A wouldn�t count it as a special guest appearance, and why should it count? Several people don�t read entertainment news to find this stuff. Bottom line: It�s a cameo everytime they show up. Therefore, Tracey would make 3 or 4 cameo appearances, while Chris will make 1-2, but not 2-3 because there was no time for Rialto Grande.
MONOLOGUE
�Alright, it must be one of those moments where you know people are going to interrupt Janet�s monologue.� That�s what I was thinking during the first 6 or 9 seconds of the monologue. Then all of a sudden, they head into a montage, where you know they�re going to do another stab at Janet�s current gig. They did of course, but at least it wasn�t overdone in this segment alone. Obviously, the video points to the Jackson 5, and while that�s a little bit of an insult to Janet, the rejection of the other siblings was just wrong. Funny, but wrong
93/100
BRIAN FELLOW
From the monologue, we go straight into something that I did not see coming at all. I should blame my being out of town for this lack of knowledge, but as of right now, I blame the lameness a.k.a. crap-ass Internet connection for a price. Maybe in a few days, I�ll move on by blaming Ohio�s lack of having an Info Center, where you can check your mail and other stuff.
So Tracey�s appearance for Safari Planet was news to me. But, it�s great to see him back. Too bad Will being on the show doesn�t get so much of a nicer welcome. Janet�s part was great, but after the 9/11 remark (about a squirrel not wanting to fly), I had to wonder if Janet would have been better off doing the entire show as Connie Rice [Auto edit from SNLSPY: And I was left to wonder what a Joe Pesci skit would be like with Brian Fellows]. It was a funny remark, but not as funny as Will�s part. Not the best of returns, or the best of what you could add in your only appearance on the show, but it�s nice to see Tracey show up, whether it�s only for the only black people hosting, or if it�s as Astronaut Jones.
87/100 � Original Score minus 3 for this being such a moral imperative in terms of being on SNL everytime Tracy makes a guest spot.
Lorne: Comma made an excellent point. Brian Fellows would do great on a Joe Pesci sketch.
Seabreeze: I agree. Same treatment toward the guests, and being better than everyone
Lorne: He�d get his ass kicked either way, but they�d make a great team. Remember Blue Eyes being on the show?
SeaBreeze: Yeah. With that happening, anything�s possible, except you fired Breuer.
Lorne: I had no choice, and besides, he would have left by now anyway
SeaBreeze: True, except Fellows in a Pesci Parody would have occurred in 1999, when he was still under contract.
Lorne: Well, he�s moved on. Jeff won�t overturn this.
SeaBreeze: You mean The Donald won�t overturn it.
Lorne: Right
STARKISHA
Here we go with Finesse as a female again. Tracey should put him in his place while he�s here. However, this didn�t suck too much. However, when the hell did Parnell go from �The Guy Who Cut In Line In Front of Amy Poehler� to Amy Poehler�s husband?
Fred�s 2 seconds here was the highlight of the segment. Funny how there�s a connection here. Fred does a funny Prince Impression, and the prices of this Janet concert here would actually be generous prices for the Prince concerts going on as we speak.
77/100
Commercials. Lindsay Lohan is so fucking awesome. It�s amazing how she and Tina can do more in a movie preview than Hilary Duff can do in anything on Disney, ABC Family, or if she was ever slated to be the new lead in a Buffy remake. Lindsay and Tina should pay tribute to Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Mary Gross by fighting each other.
SEASON�S GREETINGS FROM TONTO, TARZAN, FRANKENSTEIN:
From Mean Girls, to Garrett Morris, we go to something else I didn�t see coming either (for being out of town), until Horatio and Jimmy showed up.
Of course, if I had known that Chris Kattan was going to be on the show, I would have known for sure that they were going to do this, I would have predicted this segment to be on the show, and the thought of Simon Cowell impersonating Connie Rice would have never crossed my mind. By the way, it wasn't because of this, it would have been for a DeMarco Brothers segment. [Auto edit from snlspy: Which made Simon's appearance more of a cameo than a special guest appearance]. So, when Jimmy stopped his song, I thought it was to retire this once and for all, but it was so that Simon can rip on this before praising it and making a fool out of himself for a price that was not enough. [Auto edit from snlspy: And you have to wonder what John Carpenter thought when he got less than $1000 for appearing in a Donald Trump Cold Opening back in 1999].
90/100 � [Writer�s NTA: And I was generous like several other people, only because Simon�s role was actually a cameo kind of appearance. It would have been better if TPTB kept their mouths shut]
SeaBreeze: Imagine! They do a Regis segment on Saturday Night Live, with Rachel as Gelman, and one week later, Chris Kattan shows up.
Albert Barese: Can you imagine that? They do a Regis segment on Saturday Night Live, with Rachel as Gelman, and one week later, Chris Kattan shows up.
SeaBreeze: I think I spent more time thinking about this horrible decision that I forgot what question I was going to ask you.
Albert Barese: The one about why I repeat everything anyone says? It's my trademark.
SeaBreeze: Yeah, that one. But I was just bullshitting.
Albert Barese: You were just bullshitting. I wish the Jeff Richards firing was B.S., but in the end, he kind of sucked.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY
Janet was pretty good here. I guess that's coming from the fact that so far, she didn't appear in every damn segment. Yeah, this was good, although I didn't actually sit through the entire song just to watch the segment. Also, they did away with that true music bit (By Budweiser), but it could have been the Cincinnati NBC affiliate.
80/100 � Original Score plus 20
If you would like to add your issues, questions, and/or comments about the review thus far, the remainder of the review and everything else, HOLLA at the Yahoo address for SeaBreeze341. Thanks in advance.
SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS:
Oh dear. The Omarosa jokes just don't ever stop, do they. People were complaining about her return on The Apprentice, but if you think about it, in the end, it would be the end of the world, unless she appears on The Amazing Race [Auto edit from snlspy: or even worse, wins the competition with her teammate being Sam or something].
Poor Howard Dean. He's no better either.
Anyway, this WU was very enjoyable. Connie Rice returns, in the form of Maya, and with that, I went from thinking whether it would be Janet playing Connie again, to going down memory lane on how Martin Short and Rich Hall did some pretty dead-on Doug Henning impressions. Anyway, Connie did a rant on how Bush didn't listen to the heads up on what could transpire in the formerly foreseeable future. It's like she channeled Tony Soprano, by taking action of a situation without anyone else seeing it. Very well played.
Other hilarious segments include the Tic Tac Dough gag on the memo, [Auto edit from SeaBreeze341: They should have added a Thom McKee shout out, in the form of, "I win again, bitch!] Kevin Eubanks (Finesse) and his random appearance, the probably not completely obvious joke on Jimmy Fallon and his silent plug for his new hit single, "Jewel Eye For the Gay Guy."
98/100
[Editor's NTA: Thom McKee was a contestant on Tic Tac Dough back in the early 80s. Until someone actually beat him, no one really could. He won over $300,000 and 9 cars, and held the record for the most cash and prizes ever won by a single contestant for nearly two decades. On the topic of Kevin Eubanks, there's a link and shout out here. When Janet was on the show ten years ago, Kevin's "Boss" Jay Leno made a cameo in the monologue.]
A 1999 LITTLE RED CORVETTE FILLED WITH 200 BALLOONS:
Ah, it the Prince Show. It's about time we get something good here. This is an opportunity for Fred to shine and he did. After all, his featured player days are almost over. It was like a make or break moment here. I don't think Fericito or Gabe's going be good enough to rely on primarily. Of course, Fred has three more shows to perform to the best of his ability. If in fact there's a purge here, TPTB are more likely to keep who they know and who they're more comfortable with over new people that have a couple fanbases online.
Alright, Janet shows up as Paula here, and you'd think Simon would surface, but to no one's complete surprise he didn't [Auto edit from snlspy: nor do I think he's going to do anything else on the show from this day forward]. It was kind of sad, but it didn't completely suck either. From there, we're treated to Kenan's Steve Harvey. Tracey should have put him in his place while he's here. Speaking of which, I have to thank TPTB for not having Kattan play Prince. He's already marred Al Pacino and deservingly to some, Alan Ruck. Sometimes, the preceding people who play the role aren't always the best people for the role, when you compare everyone. I still haven't decided if Fred's Prince beats Eddie Murphy and Billy Crystal's Prince impressions. That's a tough one now. But there's no decision to be made on Kenan's Steve Harvey and Tracey's Steve Harvey. Yeah, I know it's not easy for a 26-year old to be considered better at something than a veteran, but it's not even close here.
Fred's role was great, but that was pretty much it.
100/100 � Original Score plus 15, and then another 5 since Prince LIVE is the best thing since sliced bread
Pop Survey: Who Does The Best Prince Impression?
A: Fred Armisen
B: Chris Kattan
C: Eddie Murphy
D: Billy Crystal
INSERT SUB-TITLE OF YOUR CHOICE:
At first, this wasn't too amusing. I was like, "How did Janet laugh? This wasn't even funny being drunk off my ass!" Then I started to pay attention and then it sort of became funny. I was getting pretty beat and was doing a lot of things. It was actually good, but this is H.S. humor (apologies to H.S. students). Plus, it's kind of inferior to Colonel Angus [Auto edit from SeaBreeze341: But you'd have to wonder if it would have been a lot better than Colonel Angus had this surfaced prior to that].
As for Janet, she just couldn't control her laughter. I wish that these guys would just roll on the floor and laugh their asses off. It's time to say fuck it. Also, I would actually laugh for their lack of care to hold it in. Just laugh for the longest time; it would actually be funny, even if Horatio and Jimmy did it.
95/100
ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, AS PROVEN IN HOUSTON:
If you came back from a bar or club and turned on Saturday Night Live, one would think that this was a sketch, and then immediately assume that while your were well on your way to bed to crash after being extremely loaded, SNL would be well on its way to hell to get killed were it stood everyday after being extremely loaded with crap.
But, since this was a musical performance, it was pretty decent. However, was that Adam (Real World New Orleans) as one of the dancers?
86/100
[Editor's NTA: One would have to have turned to Saturday Night Live during the early part of this to have speculated this to be a sketch. Because, later on, it had the usual musical guest feel.]
Comma: Yeah, that was confusing.
Seabreeze: Not really, if you paid attention to the background
Comma: True
Seabreeze: Given that, what would one assume if they caught Bono's second performance midway?
Comma: Not much, given that it's difficult to assume something and be passed out simultaneously.
IT�S LIKE DIFF�RENT STROKES WITHOUT ARNOLD, EXCEPT WORSE:
Good Times was a great show back in the day (of course it still is, rerun wise). SNL didn't mar this, but it wasn't too good. With Tracey and Janet being here, it was great to take advantage of this. I wished that Tim Meadows or Chris Rock were around to be in this [Auto edit from snlspy: except that they moved on, especially Chris Rock]. This had some great moments, from J.J. Smoove, to the short-lived lottery win. At least there was no need to kill the rat for ruining Plan B given the unfortunate rejection. In the end, this was kind of bland, although the ending to the title was pure classic and still genius, it needed Jimmy Walker [Auto edit from snlspy: Not to take anything away from JJ].
79/100
SeaBreeze: I will say that it's nice to see all the African-American characters together in a segment.
Fallon: Of course, if Strong Thermond were President, this would never happen.
Tina: Remember that Chris Parnell showed up.
Fallon: That doesn't count
Tina: Yes it does.
Fallon: It does not
Tina: Yes is does!
Fallon: Does Not!
Tina: Does so!
Fallon: Does Not! (Make out)
Tina: I should recast myself in the role of Denise, and from there, leave Ass Clown. I've been missing out!
SeaBreeze: Guys! Enough! I've got to tune into this next bit!
Fallon: Yo! Tell me you got that!
Tina: You're actually waiting for the final segment? Even I don't tune into the last sketch.
SeaBreeze: Whatever.
[Editor's NTA: I was hoping Forte would show up as the only while guy in the segment, since he's so good that he would have made magic with the segment. But, given Chris' part, it was too plenty to take that chance. Will would still have been great though, but he was only on SNL for 3 minutes, so they had to cut his chances of being in a Good Times segment. TPTB just can't have people like that. Had he been unfunny, maybe they could have worked something out.]
Commercials. They should get Dr. Phil to host the show. We have a promo featuring his �What were you thinking?� bit, with the topic being about girls thinking that they�re women, and feeling the need to sport a thong, despite not exactly being anywhere near the age to drive. In my local area, one of my radio stations did a very similar rant on this. It�s now legit that people don�t have to have kids if they don�t want to.
12:57
WTF? There was another shout out here; I've forgotten what it was, because my notes only say "another shout out" and that's it. [Auto edit from SeaBreeze341: Maybe it was the fact that someone could mistake this as a parody of when Vanessa played The Drunk Alphabet Game and got drunk, despite the fact that Janet Jackson and Tempestt Bledsoe look nothing alike.] Anyway, these folks are playing some drinking game, when they should have played poker, or another drinking game called High Low. Given the settings, it would have been appropriate; I'm sure Card Sharks was big at the time.
As usual, Chris Parnell shines (or tries to) with his reverse personality. With the characters his plays, he's either your normal citizen, or your crazy guy as if he's trying to impersonate Will Ferrell impersonating some crazy person. Will would have made this work had he been here.
While Amy and Seth didn't do much, they continue to remind me of Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Gary Kroeger, because the mention duo or duos often appeared on sketches together.
In the end, only after Parnell wakes up do the remaining guests take off. I'm completely with the guests, Gary. Time to take it easy. It's 12:57 anyway.
70/100
[Editor's NTA: I understand that Jimmy Walker was available for a Cameo. Apparently, Tracey, Chris and Simon being on the show took away any chance Jimmy Walker had in appearing on the show. Of course, he could have turned it down, something people do all the time.]
Total: 1055/1200
Average: 87.92
This was a fairly decent show! From Justin, Jessica, and Christina, you knew that this was going to be a great one, given the fact that an asshat�s show would be destined to suck based on what we�ve seen from them prior to the live show.
[Writer�s NTA: This review was done on Sunday, but there was a lot of stuff that had to be added before I submitted it to the most of the public. The main thing that wasn�t changed was the fact that I didn�t know the results of the game. After tallying up the scores, y�all don�t want to know how you did. It was better than last week, but not that much of an improvement. However, this is based on a Multiplier Bonus Pick POV; as for everything else (SNL Players, Host, Musical Guest, and un-credited Special Guests) it wasn�t respectively decent). It�s not an easy game, but the scores were so great during the first half that it really doesn�t matter anymore). Thanks for playing, and hopefully I�ll add a new bonus to one of the three remaining shows.]
That�s it! Will Lindsay, Jake, Mary Kate and Ashley fair better, worse, or the same as the other 18 folks that actually hosted this year? We�ll know for sure next month, as the twenty-ninth season comes to an end. What we won�t know for sure, is if Darrell Hammond will leave 3 years later than slated to, or if he�ll attempt to tie and �eventually� break Tim Meadows record.
Thanks for reading. Take care everybody!
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