| We stutterers seem intent on subjecting ourselves to the most difficulty we can imagine. If we are not immediately experiencing difficulty with our speech, we begin to anticipate the trouble that lies ahead. It's as if we refuse to accept a moment of fluency without reckoning that we will soon encounter pay-back time. A while ago, I caught myself anticipating difficulty as I drove towards the drugstore. There was no reason for it, I had been going through a relatively fluent period and had no rationale for expecting trouble. I was merely going to the store to get some cough medicine and, although I knew the store, I was not sure where the cough medicine was located. I thought for a moment about asking the store clerk for directions. That's when I began to expect trouble. I suddenly knew that I would have trouble talking to the clerk. He was over 4 kilometers away and already I knew that I was going to stutter when I asked him for directions. Maybe I should revert to old habits and begin wandering around the store in hopes of finding the cough medicine by myself. Perhaps I should postpone buying the stuff and let my wife get it later in the week. Of course, the cough medicine should be stocked out in the open in the store anyways. That's what any properly organized drugstore would do. What's the matter with this store? Are they so stupid they don't know enough to place their cough medicine where it can easily be found? Boy, are they dumb. They deserve to go out of business! Then I caught myself. I was setting myself up for a fall -- and blaming it on someone else. From past experience I knew that if I continued thinking in this vein, I would self-fulfill the prophecy. By the time I got to the mall, parked the car, and headed for the drugstore, I'd be lucky if I could walk -- let alone talk! I realized that I was headed for trouble and that it was up to me to do something about it. Giving into the apprehension and planning ways to minimize the risk had never worked in the past. It was time to try something new. Instead, I would try to obliterate the whole anticipated drugstore scene from my mind. I turned up the radio and focused my attention on the music. When any stray thoughts of cough medicine or clerks tugged at my mind, I mentally counted the bills in my wallet and the change in my pocket to see if I needed to stop at the bank for money. Since my bank was located in the mall, perhaps I should go in and check with the automatic teller to see if it was time to make a transfer between my savings and chequing accounts. Whatever I could make myself think of.... The anticipated trouble scene at the drugstore was soon driven from my mind; not that surprising a feat, with my poor memory. I was backing the car into my driveway at home, cough medicine safely on the seat beside me, when I realized what I had done. The trip had been successful and without incident. I had driven to the store, talked with the clerk for directions to the cough medicines, and discussed with her the different types and which would be most appropriate for my needs. I probably stuttered somewhat since I am never perfectly fluent but, if I had, I did not remember it. The stressful situation that I had begun to picture in my mind had been averted. It is a technique I have used quite frequently since that trip. Whenever I catch myself starting to anticipate stuttering, I try to drive the thoughts from my mind. I know that my stuttering will be less severe if I come upon it unexpectedly, instead of foreseeing trouble before it starts. And I am often amazed, after using this technique, at how well it has worked. I've used it on shopping trips, doctor's appointments, meeting strangers, and making telephone calls. I'm sure there are those who would tell me that I would do better to prepare for any difficulty and use gentle onsets or soft prolongations; but I've found out that it also works -- IF I JUST REMEMBER TO FORGET ABOUT STUTTERING! |
| Remember to Forget about Stuttering! |
| SPEAK EASY Inc. - Canada's Organization For People Who Stutter - presents: |
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