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| Weekly Rag for 1/9/02 |
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| Proof that shaving one's pubic hair and pasting it on your face so that others will think you can grow a goatee will not fool anyone. |
| Fact of the Week |
| Fake Quote of the Week |
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| "I'm not a journalist, but I play one on TV." -Geraldo Rivera |
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| Fake Ronald McDonald Pedophilic (notice I said fake McDonalds, fake; we all know Ronald McDonald isn't a sick pervert, why he's as straight as an arrow so please don't sue me) Quote of the Week! |
| "Hey Jimmy, have you ever been invited to a Paul Lynde pool party?" |
| Photo courtesy of the Fox News Channel |
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| If the bright lights are irritating the facial complexion of one of your actors, I recommend smearing a dab of man jam on their face and those sightly blemishes will vanish in no time. It also makes for zesty wrap-up party conversation! |
| Fake Quote From a Family Reading the Newspaper Together |
| Father: "See son, I told you your mother was a whore!" |
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| Real George W. Bush Quote of the Week |
| Reflecting on his time traveling prowess: "I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future." |
| Fake News of the Week: Funeral for Beloved Clinton Pet |
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| The funeral for the Clinton family dog Buddy was held on the front steps of Capitol Hill (left) this week. A distraught Bill Clinton wasn't even in the mood to be the lying asshole of a politician he usually is. "I didn't even get to have sex with him yet," said Clinton through tears. After the funeral, prop comic Gallagher entertained the Clinton family and guests (below) by using his patented Sledge-O Matic on the corpse of Buddy Clinton. |
| Photo courtesy of McDonalds.com |
| Photo courtesy of AP |
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| Photo courtesy of paperboynews.com |
| Photo courtesy of AP |
| Quote courtesy of dumbpresident.com |