Fake George W. Bush Interview Continued

G.W.B: (soaking wet and buck naked, he hugs Cheney, ruining Cheney's suit) We're a dynamic duo eh, Unky Dickey? Cheney: (proud) Certainly George certainly. G.W.B: I'm Robin! Ari Fleisher: I'm Batgirl! G.W.B: And Colin Powell is Alfred. Mwwwwahahahahahhahaha! Colin Powell: (in a butler outfit) Does anyone care for a liquid refreshment? Cheney: (terse) You know your only supposed to speak when spoken to! Now go back to your cage in the corner! Colin Powell: Will you at least change the newspapers for me? Cheney: I said scoot (Colin Powell scampers away). Now Ari and George, maybe you should get out of the tub now. G.W.B: First you have to try a shake. I have concocted two new drinks: "Usama Swirl" and "Zany Afghani Banany." Hey, I just said cock! Tee-hee! Cheney: I don't think that a shake would be good for the ol' ticker, George. G.W.B: My best is never good enough for you. Here I was slaving away, making you a shake you don't even want. Well I say that's a bunch of poppycock! I just said cock again! Tee-hee! (gets serious) Your gonna drink this shake if I have to force it down! Cheney: (tussling with the President) George quit it! Your making a fool of-arrrghhummmph (Bush had shoved both shakes down Cheney's throat)! Cha-cha-cha-medical-ughughguh-alert-quah-bracelet (collapses into the tub face first). G.W.B: Oh my God! I killed Dick again! On own, on own, what do I do, what do I do (flaps his arms in panic)? What would Dick do...hang out with a bunch of teenagers and their talking dog solving mysteries...or maybe blow all the Social Security money on classic "Dean Martin Celebrity Roast Tapes." Or- John Ashcroft: (emerges slowly from his coffin, tripping on his oversized shoes) I know what he would do: limit people's civil liberties! I say we ban subversive religions that terrorist groups belong to! G.W.B: What a great idea. Ari, write this down: By royal decree, I prohibit the following religions from being practiced- Buddhism, Islam, Sikkhism, Sufism, Wahhabism, Hinduism, and... and what do you call them, oh yeah, Mennonites. BS: Excuse me sir, but I sure hope your being more facetious than serious- G.W.B: (shocked) Did you just call me poop??? Ari Fleisher: You better watch what you say pal or there might be some consequences. Any more anti-America comments like that and you may have to do time behind bars if everything falls into place. This isn't some country where you can spout off whatever you want, you know. G.W.B: Go back to Greece you-you-uh-Grecian! John Ashcroft: Keep it up and the Justice Department will be on you like a KKK hood over my head. Whoops... BS: No, no. I'm not being un-American, I just think that you shouldn't be so drastic. Why would you want to target the Mennonites anyway? They're Pacifist Protestants. G.W.B: Or so they want you to believe. I've got my eye especially on the Mennonites (shakes fist menacingly). Boy this presidenting stuff is hard. I think its time for a Cinnabon. (shouting) Colin! Colin: (handing the President a Cinnabon and placing a Muppet Babies bib over his shirt) Enjoy massah. BS: Perhaps I'll pick up where I left off. Have you talked to the UNIMOGIP lately? G.W.B: (stern) A little less talking and a little more Cinnaboning if you don't mind. BS: Sir, just answer the question. G.W.B: No, I haven't talked to the Unitarians Never Implicated Masturbating On Getting Imp Porn for your information. BS: (sighing) That's not what it stands for, Mr. President. UNIMOGIP stands for United Nations Militart Observer Group in India and Pakistan. They play a role in the peace-keeping operations in the region. G.W.B: (sarcastic) Well sorry, Mr. Salbert Bleinstein hotshot know-it-all genius. BS: I guess you also don't know that more innocent people have died from the bombings in Afghanistan than from the September 11th attacks. Ari Fleisher: That's enough! Colin, get this man outta here! Colin: Yes suh (he quickly throws the interviewer out but the camera is still in the room). G.W.B: (confused) What was he talking about? John Ashcroft: Don't worry about it. Would you like a balloon Georgie? They float Georgie! C'mon, take it! G.W.B: Ooooooooohhhhhhh! Balloon (Bush taps the ballon around when it suddenly pops and red liquid shoots out from the balloon all over the President's hands; He shrugs his shoulders and takes a nap). ____________________________________________________________________________________

This fake interview sponsored by:      Coming this summer, from Sherwood Schwartz and the producers of "Punky Brewster", it's Theme:                                                                                                                                                                               Kathleen and Friends,                                                                           Kathleen and Friends,                                                                           She has no friends,                                                                              So there's really no point to                                                                        the show!                                                                                            End Theme:  Kathleen and Friends, Kathleen and Friends, She has no friends, So there's really no point to      the show! Here's a preview of the first episode, "Lunch"- Kathleen: (comes up to a bunch of ladies in the cafeteria having lunch) Is anyone sitting here? Ladies: (altogether) Not you, that's for damn sure. Kathleen: (throws her plate on the ground and runs away, crying hysterically) Why?? Actually that's the whole show, but tune in anyway to BSTV this summer to check it out!

Kathleen and Friends

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