twiss

October 15, 2000: A day which will live in infamy. The first day of the rest of my life.

On this day I wrote a consumer review on Amazon.com for the book Rocks of Ages: Science and Religion in the Fullness of Life by Stephen Jay Gould. What was meant to be a simple expression of my high-handed personal opinion instead resulted in the creation of my new calling: criticizing other people in the name of Jesus Christ. Here is the review that turned my life around for the better:

I am a graduate student in philosophy who read this book for an upper division class on the philosophy of science.

As such, I challenge readers to try and identify anything resembling an argument for NOMA ("non-overlapping magisteria"), rather than simply an ASSERTION of its truth.

The closest Gould comes to arguing his case is by asserting that the principle of NOMA seems commensensi-cal and intuitive. Thus, the only readers who will find this book the least bit satisfying are those who have uncritically accepted the tired, modern mantra that science and religion cannot be harmonized.

This mantra, of course, has been dictated (rather than cogently argued) by men like Gould and Dawkins who are steeped in the cadre of of scientific imperialism, i.e., those who think that science reigns supreme as the ultimate bestower of truth.

While Gould is a gifted essayist and carries a lot of clout with pop-science culture, his presentation of NOMA is nothing more than a platuidinous version of scientific imperialism, laced with (however engaging) irrelevant historical anecdotes. Though ostensibly seeking a complementarian model of truth, in the end Gould clearly gives science the preferred status.

For those who would like to read a more evenhanded and rigorous discussion of religion and science, I would recommend authors like Ian Barbour, John Polkinghorne, Robert John Russell, William Dembski, Nancey Murphy, and Hugh Ross. Many of these are, unlike Dr. Gould, experts in both the hard sciences as well as within their religious tradition.

Eight out of eight people total who had read my critique found it helpful. A perfect 100%, baby! I had made an impact on people's lives and decisions. I was Joe Six-Pack no more! My opinions must matter if a majority of people agree with me (in this case unanimous support). Obviously the populous has an insatiable appetite for my two cents. Thus it is my duty as the great statesman that I am to keep up this service to the public.

My Thoughts on The Wife's Cooking
Let's just say it leaves something to be desired--a little something of everything. One time she made these pancakes that were without a shadow of a doubt spawn of Satan. They tasted like pennies, which infuriated me because I was to have pennies for lunch that day (I try to live on a public school teacher's salary, you know). I was so upset that even Jesus Christ himself would understand if I had happened to push her down several flights of stairs in a fit of rage. The demons that compelled her to make those devil-cakes needed to be exorcised post-haste.
The wife, covered with the physical and emotional scars of Christ for many months, will hopefully make decent meals from now on.

My Thoughts on The Wife's Backtalk
Many times the wife has so much sass that in the name of Christ I have to knock her on her ass. The wife, upon reading my Amazon.com review, mocked the fact that I capitilized the letters in the word "assumption" to denote emphasis. "What are you," she snarled, "an English teacher or an English delinquent?" The wife must have thought that I would respect her views considering the fact that she is a teacher herself, but in reality her instructing prowess pales in comparison to my acumen, so I took umbrage to her blasphemy. I knew that the evil doers had once again taken control of the wife's body and that I, as a devout disciple of the Lord, had to do something about it. With iron in hand, I tried to burn the malevolent phantoms that held the wife's soul at bay. After two straight hours of the steam treatment, the transgressors that had invaded the wife's body had fled, leaving her in an unconscious state. Through continued prayer, I know that the mischievous actions taken by the wife will dissipate.