Marge: "How were you a political prisoner?"
Homer: "I kicked a giant mouse in the butt, do I have to spell it out for you?"
Homer: "Don't worry Apu. I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."
Homer: "Hey Ganesha, want a peanut?"
Apu: "Please do not offer my God a peanut."
(Up Late With McBain)
McBain: "Ja, thank you, ja, that's nice. Let's say hello to my music guy, Skoey. That is some outfit, Skoey. It
makes you look like a homosexual."
[Audience boos]
McBain: "Maybe you all are homosexuals too!"
(Simpson family and Apu watching Bollywood film)
Bart: "This movie sucks"
Homer: "No it doesn't. It's funny! Their clothes are different from my clothes! Hahaha!!!!"
Homer: "Homer no function beer well without."
Marge: "An A+! How did you do it?"
Homer: "Oh, let's just say I had help from a little magic box."
Marge: "You changed your grade with a computer?"
Homer: "D'oh!"
Patty: "I can't believe Aunt Gladys is really gone."
Selma: "Her legend will live forever."
Homer: (to himself) "Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman! (outloud) HAHAHA! Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good!"
Marge: "Homer! That's very rude!"
Homer: "Wha--? D'oh!"
Lionel Hutz: "Uh-oh! We've drawn Judge Snyder!"
Marge: "Is that bad?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
Marge: "You did?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well actually replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'."
"Lord, free me of myself so I can please you." - Michelangelo