| He watches. A one-year old child sitting in a high-chair flings another spoonful of pre-mashed bananas onto his baby-tray and our man cant help but weep when seeing the innocence of this child. He knows this child, he knows what the child�s thinking, he knows everything that will happen to this child. The child is him. At the age of 45 on July 14th, a Wednesday, he was driving home from his work when suprisingly and quite suddenly a car swerved in front of him in the already thick traffic and he swerved to the right to avoid getting hit. His back bumper clipped the front of the car in the next lane, thus causing his car to circle quickly and careen off of the overpass he was on. 32 people were injured that day, as well as holding up traffic for miles as the mess was resolved, and one man died. This man is him. In the last moments of his life, as he saw through the windshield the ground raising up to meet him, everything was in slow motion. He could see every rock on the asphalt, see in stark detail the bumps in the road he was about to crash onto. His life didn�t flash in front of him as he fell, he didn�t ask �why me?�, all he thought was, �I�m going to die.� As he crashed into the ground, he felt a brief shot of pain for a split second and even before the impact had completely taken place, he wasn�t there. He knew where he was. Any questions or doubt that people have slaved over their entire lives did not matter. He did not care about anything, he felt beauty. Physical words and gestures cannot even remotely fathom what he felt there. There was a God, this God was supreme, he is His child. He was home. He wanted to praise and cry and offer himself completely up to him. See, he was a Christian, but even he doubted his faith at times or ignored God as he went on with his daily life, now everything was real, nothing was bad, and he was there. He ran to the feet of God and threw himself down before them. He cried for joy and looked up into the face of God. God looked down, smiled, but then made a sad face full of compassion. He knew instantly what happened - it just came to him. He would have to suffer the consequences for his sin. Sure he would be saved, but not without correction. In an instant he was in a hospital room. He looked around and instantly saw his father there, only younger. His mother was on a bed with beads of sweat on her face as she breathed in an organized pattern. He could tell what each was thinking simultaneously. He was being born. His life was just starting all over again and now it was his turn to watch it from God�s perspective. And this is where we�re at in the present. Another banana projectile flies through the air and now hits the floor. They cant see him, they have no idea that he�s watching, but he is. His mother, so full of patience and love was feeding him his afternoon meal. Her thoughts were not harsh because of his inability to keep the food on the tray (or in his mouth, for that matter), but they were filled with a strange type of love. A love.. he had never known existed. The love of a mother. She would have easily taken a bullet to save her child from certain death without hesitating twice. She was perfectly happy just being able to be with her baby. But this trip is not all fun and games. This was the small time-period when his former self was uncorrupted by the world. He was always at hisself�s side and never got more than 5 feet from himself. He could hear the thoughts of everyone around that was directed towards him or was effected by him in any way. He watched as his former self sat almost dead in front of a television watching violence and hearing cussing instead of praising God for life. God was real! Why couldn�t he tell his self that? Oh the pain and agony of having to watch him waste away his life in things that had absolutely no significance in heaven. Watching him pass by hundreds daily and not only not talk to them about Jesus, but to even tarnish God�s name by acting like a hypocrite. To hear the thoughts going through his mind when a name not liked by him is heard. This is truly torture. And to think that this happens to every person; hell-bound or heaven-bound. To see the glory of God and then to re-live your life watching from a distance knowing and seeing every ounce of sin you created. My shade is watching me right now, and so is yours. Why make it suffer any more than it has to? |
| A Shade |