The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: "Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?" The CO said "I see millions of stars." 1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?" CO: "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me God is great and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?" 1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me somebody stole our tent."

Why The Services Can't Work Together.

One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.

When President Clinton took office, one of the first things he did was to remove the questions from the military entrance applications whether the individual applying for enlistment was homosexual. At that time a 30 year navy Master Chief put his retirement papers in and retired. At his ceremony he was asked why he suddenly decided to retire. His answer was as follows: "When I joined the Navy in 1964 it was illegal to join the Navy and be homosexual. Now it is accepted, and I'm getting out before it becomes mandatory."

Military Time On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3."

A visitor, returning to Kuwait for the first time since the Gulf War, was impressed by a sociological change. On previous visits she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives! She approached one of the women for an explanation: "What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles?" "Land mines," replied the Kuwaiti woman...

Cheap Drinks A SOLDIER,SAILOR,AND A AIRMEN WERE IN TOWN TOGETHER AND SAW A SIGN ON A BAR WINDOW SAYING ALL DRINKS 10 CENT. THEY WENT IN AND ORDERED DRINKS. BARTENDER SERVED THEM AND SAID I GUESS YOU WONDER WHY THE DRINKS ARE ONLY A DIME.THEY SAID YES. HE TOLD THEM I'M THE OWNER AND A PROUD RETIRED AIR FORCE SERGANT. I WON THE LOTTERY AND OPENED THIS BAR FOR MY MILITARY FRIENDS TO COME AND DRINK CHEAP AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. THEY SAID THAT'S GREAT SARGE. THE AIRMAN, LOOKED AROUND AND SAW THIS MARINE OFFICER AT A TABLE ALL ALONE WITHOUT A DRINK, HE ASK SARGE WHY HE WASN'T DRINKING? SARGE SAID HE COMES IN EVERDAY AND SETS THERE WAITING FOR HAPPY HOUR TO START.

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