I was born in 1984 to an unwed sixteen-year-old Mormon girl and a bad boy Clash fan. My childhood was generally fine, except that I was quite overweight and harbored numerous undiagnosed psychological disorders.
At the age of fifteen, I became a punk rocker and hated everyone except for my punk rock friends. I experimented with bubblegum,sneaking out, ranch dressing, hairstyles, and drugs. I went to prom. I was damn hot.
My first band was called the Valtrex Vixens. We went through a couple of bass players and name changes (the Violators, the Boobarellas, the Skrotches, the DJ Tanners, the Kimmy Gibblers). After high school, I joined powerhouse garage rock band the Danielle Steels. Since then, members of the Danielle Steels have added two new members and renamed ourselves I Foun' A Eyepatch (In My Coinpurse). We like dancing and 1980's "serious business woman" attire.
Which brings us to this point in my life: the Scurvy Messiahs.
I met members of the Scurvy Messiahs in the employment field of marketing research, which does not, by any means whatsoever, rock. However, Pirate Jesus does rock, as he is our lord and savior. Jars of Clay may be praising "the REAL Jesus," but really.fuck them. We know the truth, and soon everyone else will, too. We will be martyrs for the Seven Seas, whilst rocking your socks off.
This is all true ---
Trudy (the Scurvy Messiahs)