| Why it's great to be a woman: We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. Taxis stop for us. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. We can congratulate a teammate without ever having to touch her rear. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. We have the ability to dress ourselves. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we look like an idiot. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. We'll never regret piercing our ears. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. And a friend pointed out that there is another side to this joke: Why it's great to be a man: Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Foreplay is optional. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't have to care if no one notices your new haircut. The world is your urinal. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one is icky. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. Wedding dress: $2000. Tux rental: $100. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. People never glance at your chest when you talk to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. Your pals can be trusted to never trap you with, "So, notice anything different?" Gender wars Humor Main Page Email Me |