A soldier serving overseas was annoyed and very upset when his fiance sent him a letter breaking off their engagement and asking that he return the picture he took of her the day he left. He asked all his friends for all the unwanted photographs of women that they had, then he bundled these photos together and mailed them to her with a note that said, "Sorry to say I cannot remember which one is you. Please pick out your photo and return all of the others."
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Military Intelligence
A woman driving to work passed a local Army Guard unit. They were in the field off to the side of the road on maneuvers. She never would have noticed their camp under the camoflage tent except for the porta-potties scattered throughout: They were bright orange.
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Organized Mother
A boy joined the army and remembered to write home to his mother during boot camp. She had always been very well organized and she saved every one of his letters. When he came home on leave, he was surprised to see that she had sorted his letters into two stacks. "This group," she explained, "is where you complain about the food. The other one is where you complain about everything else."
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Tents vs. Hotel Rooms
A group of Marines was deployed to the same location as a group of Air Force personnel. The Marines were camped in tents out next to the runway. The Air Force put their personnel up in the nearest hotel. One day, an Air Force Captain walks up to the Marine Captain.
"Well, you guys better start packing up your tents."
"Why?" asked the Marine Captain. "Are we moving into the hotel with you guys?"
"Nope. You're camped on our future golf course."
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The difference between Army and Air Force
An army infantryman stands outside in the cold at 3 a.m. in the rain with his poncho and rifle and says, "This sucks!"
An army Ranger wades through waist-deep, ice-cold, swamp water and says, "I LOVE the way this sucks."
A greenie beanie walks through freezing water that is up to his neck, holding his rifle above his head as the leeches attach themselves to his throat, and he says, "I wish this sucked MORE!"
An Air Force pilot flies overhead in his heated cockpit, glances down and says, "Wow, it looks like it really sucks down there."
An airman sits on the bed in his warm hotel room with a television remote, flipping through channels, and says, "No cable? This SUCKS!!!"
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