| MIRANDA RIGHTS REVISED 1. You have the right remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me. 2. If you decide to run away from me, be advised that I will direct my K9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth. 3. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you. Should s/he refuse, a recent law school graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along beside you. 4. If while running, you decide to end the race, be advised that my K9 may not understand your intentions and may continue his pursuit of you at full speed. 5. You may stop running at any time at your own risk. 6. Good luck. Get ready... Set... Go!!! ANOTHER VERSION... 1. You have the right to swing first. 2. Anything you do can and will lead to an ass kicking. 3. You have the right to have a priest and EMT present at time of ass kicking. 4. If you do not have a priest, one can be appointed to you free of charge to perform your last rights according to your religion. -------------------------- YOU ARE UNDER ARREST AND... No, I don't know who you are. No, I don't care who you know. No, I don't have anything better to do. Yes, I do arrest real criminals sometimes. No, I'm not picking on you because you are a (fill in appropriate ethnic group/race). No, I can't give you a break. No, I don't know your friend Officer ___________. Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call. No, you probably will never do it again. No, we can't talk about it. Yes, it does make me happy. Yes, you will see me in court. Law Enforcement Humor Page Main Page Email Me |
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