|
Celebrities, TV and Movies |
| I love movies and TV, so this is where I will pay tribute them as well as celebrities. Look for more additions in the future. (If you're looking for quotes from Lord of the Rings go here) |
| Celebrities |
| "The idea is, if you show them you're a complete psycho the first day, they'll never bother you again." ~ Tucker Carlson, Crossfire host and author |
| "I have to remind my dad, 'Journalists - no matter how many cigars they smoke with you - are not your friends, so don't talk to them.' " ~ Cameron Diaz |
| "Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears." ~ Gillian Anderson |
| "Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing." ~ Hugh Grant |
| "Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred." ~ Hugh Grant |
| "I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'" ~ Jay Leno |
| "Life is what happens when you are making other plans." ~ John Lennon |
| "Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." ~ John Lennon |
| "Reality leaves a lot to the imagination." ~ John Lennon |
| "Fear...Fear...utter fear. Clowns! Clowns scare me." ~ Johnny Depp |
| "I don't try to be Captain Weird, I just do what I do." ~ Johnny Depp |
| "I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face." ~ Johnny Depp |
| "Life's pretty good, and why wouldnt it be? I'm a pirate, after all." ~ Johnny Depp |
| "If you are to fail... fail BIG!!!!" ~ Johnny Depp |
| "I'd rather have my heart broken, than break one" ~ Josh Hartnett |
| "My hat was pulled down and this girl said 'Are you really him?' I whispered 'Yeah, I'm really him.' She screamed, 'Mom! Dad! It's Heath Ledger!" ~ Josh Hartnett |
| "If your mom is a nurse, your normal day is: 'We gotta eat all the fruit today so mom can't pack it in our lunches...'" ~ Julia Roberts |
| "Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Don't sell out." ~ Christopher Reeve |
| "Never frown because you never know when someone's falling in love with your smile" ~ Justin Timberlake |
| "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." ~ Katharine Hepburn |
| "To read your own mind is to look at your self and read your soul. Hatred becomes love and that is the path I am working on" ~ Richard Gere |
| "Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room" ~ Robin Williams |
| "Life is a journey....not a destination." ~ Steve Tyler |
| "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies." ~ Tim Robbins |
| "I don't know. People always think that there has got to be a dark side to everyone, a closet with skeletons, demons under the bed. People think all kinds of things about one another. They feel compelled to make up fears and false assumptions about their closest friends. Truth is, I'll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candor." ~ Tom Hanks |
| "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." ~ Will Smith |
| "I always turn to the sports page first which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures." ~ Chief Justice Earl Warren |
| T.V. |
| "Gold. Ebay gold." ~ Phil on Ed after getting Clay Aiken's used water bottle. |
| "Never give up on a miracle." ~ Mulder, The X-Files |
| "Now Simon gets to do what he does best. Tell them they suck and crush their dreams. Someone's gotta do it...might as well be him." Paula Abdul, American Idol 3 |
| "You remind me when Christina Aguilera was nice." ~ Simon Cowell, Amweican Idol 3 |
| "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the raspberry seed you can't floss out!" ~ Darkwing Duck, Darkwing Duck |
|
Reporter: But we don't have any news to file. CJ: Like a blank page would kill ya?! (The West Wing) |
| Oscars 2004 |
| "People are moving to New Zealand just to be thanked." ~ Billy Crystal |
| "It's now official: There's nobody in New Zealand left to thank." ~ Billy Crystal |
| "Look at us - a San Francisco wedding cake." ~ Billy Crystal |
| "You're giving us just an incredible night." ~ Peter Jackson |
| Movies |
| Pirates of the Carribbean |
| "But why is the rum gone?" ~ Captain Jack Sparrow |
| Will
Turner: You
cheated. Captain Jack Sparrow: Pirate! |
| "Weddings...I Love Weddings. Drinks All Around!" ~ Captain Jack Sparrow |
| "She's safe like I promised. She's going to marry Nottingham like she promised, and your about to die for her like you promised. So were all men of our word....except Elizabeth who is, in fact a woman." ~ Captain Jack Sparrow |
| "Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for..." ~ Captain Jack Sparrow |
| "And really bad eggs...drink up me hearties...yo-ho." ~ Captain Jack Sparrow |
| Finding Nemo |
| "Awww. You guys made me ink." ~ Pearl |
| Dory: I'm so sorry.
See I-I suffer from short term memory loss. Marlin: Short term memory loss? I don't believe this. Dory: No, it's true! I forget things almost instantly. It runs in my family. Well, I mean at least-at least I think it does. Um...hm...where are they? |
| Bruce, Anchor, and Chum: Fish are friends, not food. |
| Marlin: Dory! Dory (mumbling in her sleep): Sea monkey has my money... Marlin: Wake up! Get up! Come on! Get up! Come on! Dory (mumbling): Yes, I'm a natural blue... Marlin: Get Up! Dory: Look out! Sharks eat fish! Aaahh! |
| Dory: Just keep swimming
swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim swim. Marlin: Dory, no singing. Dory: Ho ho ho ho ho! I love to swim! When you want to swim you want to... Marlin: See I'm gonna get stuck now with that song! Now it's in my head! Dory: Sorry. |
| Marlin: We did it!
Oh yeah yeah yeah! No eating here tonight! Woo! Marlin & Dory: Eating here tonight!! Dory: No no no eating here tonight! Marlin: Dory! Dory:You on a diet! |
| Dory: Guys! School of Fish: What? Is he bothering you again?! Dory: No no, he's a good guy. Go easy on him. He's lost his son, Fabio. |
| Dory: Hey little guy. Marlin: You wanted to go through the trench. Dory: I shall call him squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my squishy. Come here squishy! Come here little squishy! *baby talk* Ow! Marlin: Dory! That's a jellyfish! Dory: Bad squishy! Bad squishy! |
| "Aw, saw the whole thing, dude! First you were like 'Whoa!' Then we were like 'Whoa!!' And then you were like 'whoa...'" ~ Crush |
| "You mini-man. Takin on the jellies. You got serious thrill issues, dude." ~ Crush |
| Squirt: Whoa!! That was
so cool! Hey dad! Did you see that!? Did you see me!?
Did you see what I did!? Crush: You so totally rocked, Squirt! So give me some fin. *slap* Noggin. *clunk* Crush & Squirt: Duuuuude. |
| Crush: Oh intro. Jellyman Offspring. Offsring Jellyman. Squirt: Jellies? Sweet. Crush: Totally. |
| Squirt: So where are you
going? Marlin: Well, you see my son was taken. My son was taken away from me. Turtle Kids: *gasp Dory: No way. Squirt: What happened? Marlin: No, no, no kids I don't want to talk about it. Turtle Kids: Awww, please? Squirt: Pleeeeeease? Marlin: *sighs* Well, okay, I live on this reef, a long long way from here. Dory: Oh boy. This is gonna be good. I can tell. |
| Crush: Okay, first, find
your exit buddy. Do you have an exit buddy? Dory: Yes! Crush: Okay Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique. Squirt: Good afternoon! We're gonna have a great jump today! Okay, crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom turn, so watch out! Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it! Marlin: It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it! You know, you're really cute, but I don't know what you're saying! |
| Dory: *Gibberish* Marlin: Dory! Heaven knows what you're saying! See he's swimming away. Dory: Cooooooome Baaaaaack Marlin: He's not coming back! You offended him! Dory: Maybe a different dialect. *More Gibberish* |
| Gurgle: Curse you, Aquascum!!!! |
| Darla (pounding on fish
tank and singing): Twinkle twinkle little star... Peach: Find a happy place! Find a happy place! Find a happy place!! |
| Dory: I don't know
what's going on! I think I lost somebody, but I-I can't remember.
And... Nemo: It's okay. It's okay. I'm looking for someone too. Hey! We can look together. Dory: I'm Dory. Nemo: I'm Nemo. Dory: Nemo!? ...that's a nice name. |
| Mr. Ray: Well,
hello, Nemo. Who's this? Nemo: Exchange student. Squirt: I'm from the EAC, dude. Mr. Ray: Sweeeeet. Squirt & Nemo: Totally. |
| Independence Day |
| "No, sir, just a little anxious to get up there and whoop ET's ass." ~ Steve Hiller |
| "This was supposed to be my weekend off. But nooo. You got me dragging your heavy ass through the burning desert with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute. You had to come down here with an attitude. Acting all big and bad. And what the hell is that smell?! I coulda been at a barbecue!" ~ Steve Hiller |
| "In less than an hour, aircrafts from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution but from annihilation. You're fighting for our right to live...to exist. And should we win the day. The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday. But as the day when the world declared in one voice 'We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day!'" ~ President Thomas J. Whitmore |
| "Not me they're overriding the systerm...Oh shit. Um...hide." ~ David Levinson |
| "All right you alien assholes! In the words of my generation: Up Yours!!!!" ~ Russell Casse |
|
David: Hey, all right.
Look at us. Take a look at the earthlings. Good-Bye. Steve: Y'all take care, all right. Remember love for ya, nothin' but love for ya. Bye. You think they have any clue what's about to happen to them? David: Not a chance in Hell. Good Night. |
| Ferngully |
| "Only fools are positive." ~ Batty Koda |
| "I'm blind....I can see! It's a miracle!" ~ Batty Koda |
|
Christa: Humans in the
forest! Batty: There goes the neighborhood. |
| Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men |
|
John: You're supposed to be smoking filtered cigarettes, pop! Grandpa: Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care? |
| "Kids...can't live with 'em...can't shoot 'em." ~ Grandpa |
|
Grandpa: The baby bear looked and he said, 'Somebody's been sleeping in
my bed, and the bastard's still there!' But Goldilocks had a Remington
semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair trigger! Allie: That's not the way it goes! Grandpa: And that was the end of the three bears! |
| "People are not gonna come down here for Italian, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese right in town!" ~ Max |
|
Grandpa: RELAX! Kids swallow quarters all the time! Melanie: Really? Grandpa: Sure! If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying, huh. |
|
John: Pop, I wish you'd try the low fat bacon. Grandpa: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other...and see which gets filled first! |
| Indiana Jones |
|
Dr. Jones: I didn't know
you could fly a plane. Indy: Fly yes...land no |
|
Dr. Jones: Well I'm sorry
about your head though, but I thought you were one of them. Indy: Dad, they come in through the doors. Dr. Jones: Ha.. Good point. |
|
Sallah: Please, what does
it always mean, this 'Junior'? Dr. Jones: That's his name. Henry Jones, Junior. Indy: I like Indiana. Dr. Jones: We named the dog Indiana. |
| Jurassic Park |
|
John Hammond: When they
opened Disneyland in 1956 nothing worked. Ian: Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down the pirates don't eat the tourists. |
|
Ian: God creates
dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man
creates dinosaurs. Ellie: Dinosaurs eat man.... Woman inherits the earth. |
| "Oh yeah, ooo, ah, that's how it always starts, but then later there's running, then screaming." ~ Ian |
| Lethal Weapon 4 |
|
Butters: You get a call, they cut you off. You make a call, they cut you
off. What's the point? Leo: You know what they're doin', kid? They f*** you with cell phones! That's what it is! They're f***ing you with the cell phones! |
|
Riggs: We should hire Leo. Murtaugh: Hire Leo? Riggs: Yeah, hire him. He can follow Uncle Benny around. Murtaugh: But Uncle Benny will see him! Riggs: Yeah, yeah, that's the idea, it'll drive him nuts! Murtaugh: But Uncle Benny will shoot him! ... Hey, let's hire him! |
| "You got the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up, ok? You got the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya!" ~ Butters |
| So I Married An Axe Murderer |
|
Stuart Mackenzie (Charlie's father): William! Move your head! Look at
the size of that boy's head! Tony: Shhhh! Stuart: I'm not kidding, that's like an orange on a toothpick! Tony: Shh! You're going to give the kid a complex. Stuart: Well, that's a huge noggin! That's a virtual planetoid! Has its own weather system! Head! Move! |
| "Oh, I hated the colonel, with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face...Oh, you're going to buy my chicken! Ooooh!" ~ Stuart |
| "Head! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can! Haulin' that gargantuan cranium about! I'm not kidding, that boy's head's like Sputnik! Spherical, but quick pointy in parts. Well, that was off sides, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow!" ~ Stuart |
| "We have a piper down. I repeat. A piper is down." ~ Stuart |
| The American President |
|
A. J.: Oh, and Leon, don't be the nice, sweet guy from Brooklyn on this
one. Do what the NRA does. Leon: What, scare the shit out of them? A. J.: Exactly. Leon: I can do that. |
|
Sydney: If he honestly
thinks that the environmental community is going to whistle a happy tune
while rallying support around this pitifully lame mockery of environmental
leadership just because he's a nice guy and has done better than his
predecessors, then your boss is the chief executive of fantasyland! President: Let's take him out back and beat the shit out of him! |
| President: We had a nice couple of minutes together. She threatened me, I patronized her. Didn't have anything to eat, but I thought there was a connection. |
|
President: She didn't say
anything about me? A.J.: Well, no sir, but I can pass her a note before study hall. |
|
Sydney: Hello? President: Yeah, hi, is this Sydney? Sydney: Leo? President: No, this is Andrew Shepherd. Sydney: Oh! It's Andrew Shepherd! Yeah, you're hilarious, Richard, you're just a regular riot! President: No, this isn't Richard...this is Andrew Shepherd. Sydney: Oh! Well, I'm so glad you called because I forgot to tell you today what a nice ass you have. I'm also impressed that you were able to get my phone number given the fact that I don't have a phone. Good night, Richard! President: No, this isn't Richard. [Sydney hangs up] This used to be easier. |
|
President: Janie, can you
get me the number of a local florist? Janie: I'll take care of it, sir, where do you want them sent? President: No, I want to do it myself. I just need the number. Janie: I don't understand. President: I want the phone number of a florist. Janie: You just want the phone number? President: Yeah. Janie: I don't understand, sir, is there a problem with... President: Janie, I want to send some flowers. I want to do it myself. I don't want to staff it out, I don't want to issue an executive order. I just want the phone number. Janie: I'll get it for you right away, sir. |
|
Louis: Who're we calling,
sir? President: I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of it's none of your damn business, Louis, I'll be with you in a second. |
|
[On the phone with the florist]
President: Perhaps it would be better if you bill me for the flowers, I'm sure it'll be all right with your boss. ... Well, I don't know if you recognize my voice, but this is the president. ... Of the United States! ... Hello? |
| President: Let me see if I got this. The third story on the news tonight was that someone I didn't know thirteen years ago when I wasn't president participated in a demonstration where no laws were being broken in protest of something that so many people were against, it doesn't exist anymore. Just out of curiosity, what was the fourth story? |
|
President: I want to
buy her some flowers. That's what men do when they break a date. Robin: That's not what men do. I know no men who do that. |
| "You think there's an assassin waiting in the flower shop just in the off-chance I might be stopping by?" ~ President Shepherd |
|
Beth: You kissed him? Where? Sydney: On the mouth. Beth: No, where in the White House? Sydney: The Dish Room. Beth: The Dish Room? Sydney: The China Room. Beth: And then what happened? Sydney: He had to go and attack Libya. Beth: It's always something. |
|
[Watching Bob Rumson on television]
Bob Rumson: Last night, the cost of those liberal programs was raised to include the blood of 22 American soldiers. Now, Mr. Shepherd's read a lot of books, but it doesn't take a Harvard degree to see this one coming a mile down the road. President : I went to Stanford, you blowhole! |
|
Lewis: Can I just state very clearly I can't be part of anything
illegal. A.J.: Good for you, Lewis. Lewis: You can say what you want. It's always the guy in my job that ends up doing 18 months in Danbury minimum security prison. |
| [President
Shepherd watching his opponent speaking.] President: Wait, wait, here comes my favorite part. Bob Rumson: My name is Bob Rumson, and I'm running for President! President: Sure glad he cleared that up, 'cause those people were about to buy some Amway products! |
| President: My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I am the president. |
|
Sydney: How'd you finally do it? President: Do what? Sydney: Manage to give a woman flowers and be president at the same time? President: Well, it turns out, I've got a rose garden. |
| My Fellow Americans |
|
Pres. Douglas: You're a whore! Admit it! Admit you're a big whore! Go
ahead... Pres. Kramer: Name three women from the District of Columbia that you didn't bang when you were in office...what am I talking about? Name one! Pres. Douglas: Screw you! Pres. Kramer: Blow me! |
|
Pres. Kramer: There was only one assassination attempt on me, you had
three! Pres. Douglas: Two! The woman in Phoenix doesn't count! She only had a starter pistol! |
| Pres. Douglas: The minute you're out of office they don't care enough about you to kill you anymore....people are fickle! |
|
Secret Service Agent: We'll be at Air Force One shortly, President
Douglas. Pres. Douglas: I hate these funerals. It's just awful when another good Democrat passes on! Secret Service Agent: I believe the deceased was a Republican, Sir. Pres. Douglas: Oh! Well then it might not be so bad! |
| Vice President: I'm so sorry, and I'm so embarrassed. And-and I hope this doesn't scare you away from golf. Because it's such a great sport! I-I know your people...the black people, don't really enjoy the game, but I think that's because you can't get into the nice clubs! The restricted ones. And on the other hand, your people are so good at so many sports, that maybe it's good that we white folks have a sport you guys are not so good at! |
| "The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers and erased like a blackboard. Rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field. This game. It's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come." ~ Terrance Mann, Field of Dreams |
| Zeke:
Nothing's wrong with him you asshole! He's tweaking! Let him
f***ing tweak! Casey: Tweak tweak (The Faculty) |
|
Gabe: Hey, yo, pisswad! You're in my way. Casey: I'm sorry, I was breathing here. (The Faculty) |
| "Well, look at the bright side. We'll all have high schools named after us." ~ Andrea Baker, Deep Impact |
| "Take it easy there. You know sir, you really should watch your blood pressure. My nephew Izzy just peeled over mid-mango, and he's a fruit bat. No meat. Stress is a killer" ~ Bartok, Anastasia |
| "No matter what anybody tells you--words and ideas can change the world." ~ Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society |
| "The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid." ~ Goose, Top Gun |
|
Venkman: I'm a little hazy on this good/bad stuff. What exactly is bad?
Egon: Imagine life as you know it stopping instantaneously and all the molecules in your body exploding at the speed of light. Venkman: That would be bad. (Ghostbusters) |
| "That's it, man! Game over, man! It's game over!" ~ Bill Paxton, Aliens |
| "Don't mess with me, man! I'm a lawyer!" ~ Peter, Hook |
| "Oh sir, I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them? Oh, appears they ran that way, it was a run by fruiting." ~ Mrs. Doubtfire |
|
Dark Helmet: How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow? Crew: YO! Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Keep firing assholes! |