Dear Bn,

It still surprises me. It shouldn't, after all my years of "experience," but it still does. How two people who can be so intimate, so caring, so comfortable with each other at times, and still have those awkward moments when they're just not hearing each other.

You called me Friday when I was home not feeling well. You were in the neighborhood and just wanted to drop in, because you cared. I told you that I didn't really feel up to company. Then I could hear it in your voice - what I've heard a number of times before - the hurt and anger because I said no.

How can we get beyond this? I need to be able to be honest with you without worrying about hurting you. You need to be less accommodating and tell me, and other people, "no" more often, tell them how you really feel, and what you really want. Were you trying to do that Friday and I just didn't hear it? It wouldn't be the first time.

This note is not to ask who was right or wrong. It is to let you know that even though we miscommunicate sometimes, even though we run the risk of hurting each other by being honest, even though this will probably happen again, I still want very much to keep communicating with you. I love our friendship, our intimacy, our communication. I love talking to you, even when we are quiet together. I love you.

Your Friend.