Dear Friend,

You asked me what I would I do if you moved out of town?

I would want to follow you. But I know that is fantasy mine. It is not my right, not my decision to make. I may share your body, your frinedship, your love but I do not share your life. That being the case, in all honesty, if you moved I would be heartbroken, I would be devastated.

Ever since the day, the hour I fell in love with you I have tried to prepare for the inevitible - the time when you finally make that decision which means your life no longer includes me. It might be another woman, it might be a move out of town. I do not what it will be; I simply know it will be. Of that I have no illusions. How I will cope with it, I have no idea.

I wish I could suspend this time I share with you. Freeze it at the moment after you find your pleasure within my body, when you lay sated in my arms. It is that moment that I feel closest to you, when I feel one with you and you with me. I dread the time when that moment will no longer be had between us. It is unfathomable to me, yet expected, that at some point we will be only polite friends. No longer sharing our bodies, our minds in so intimate a way, but simply sharing our friendship through occasional phone calls or postcards.

In loving you, I want for you what makes you happiest, what brings you joy. I often wish that it could be me. That it is not is apparent, is accepted. It is a difficult reality sometimes but is far outweighed by what you have given me, by the fact that I love you. That love is undemanding, unconditional; asking nothing of you, asking for nothing in return. It has been, will always be, one of the most precious gifts of my life. And for that, I will always thank you, always consider you a very special friend.

I am too emotional at the moment to be eloquent in my phrasing, to be truly coherent with my thoughts. I just wanted to give you a more honest answer to your question than I did when you first asked me.

Your friend always, all ways.

Bn.