What's going on with me?

10-25-06 - I walked out of McDonald�s with my large fries and cup of water, hopped in my car, and started listening to the radio. Ten seconds after I got in, �Today� by the Smashing Pumpkins started playing. At first I thought it was a sign, but then I just realized that the song was right: �Today is the greatest day I�ve ever known.�

Ok, so I know it�s cheesy to start anything like that, but I wanted to. This all started on Friday the 13th of this month. I was kinda having a bad day. A bunch of friends went camping, but I just didn�t feel like doing it that weekend. I tried having a �Back to the Future� marathon at my apartment, but no one that wasn�t going camping was able to make it. I was going to hang out with a couple other people that night, and I got kinda shafted. I was just irritated and bored and lonely.

Suddenly, an e-mail notification popped up. It was a Ben Folds newsletter. Yeah, he�s been my favorite musician for the past two years (and I still sometimes feel like I betrayed the Smashing Pumpkins in making the change, like when I changed my favorite show to 24, replacing �The Simpsons� after 14 years), but big deal. I�d been getting them for a year or two. They always just have tour dates or are pimping his new albums. But this one was different. It said something about having a chance to play with Ben in concert. Holy crap. In Nashville. HOLY CRAP!

I signed up within a minute (seriously) of getting that e-mail and then told my friend David about it, so he signed up just to watch. Then I realized Jasmine was at work, so I signed her up. I, for some reason, didn�t think about telling anyone else. I should�ve told Kate and Liz, but I didn�t...and I hate that I didn�t. Oh, well.

So I anxiously awaited for the e-mail telling me I�d get to play with him for the next few days. On October 19, I got an e-mail with a title saying that I was going to see Ben Folds in concert in Nashville, and maybe playing with him, too. Needless to say, I was extremely excited. That night, I told Blake, Diana, Chris C., my parents, Chris F. (hereafter being just �Chris�), and I�m sure countless other people. Chris asked if I�d invited anyone in my guest spot yet and I said no and he was welcome to come along, so he accepted. The next day at Tamra�s Halloween party (I was a Silver Snake from Legends of the Hidden Temple), I got to tell more people about it. I didn�t realize that I�d been that vocal about Ben�s music, but even people that have only known me for a couple months knew how big of a deal this would be for me.

I told Chris and David to bring digital cameras. They asked me if they�d be allowed and I said I had no idea, but mine was gonna be with me.

I ended up publicizing the concert in a MySpace bulletin, my Facebook status, and my AIM away message (which resulted in MANY people asking, �How did you pull that off?� or some variant), knowing full well that something terrible would happen and not allow me to be part of the concert. I still had to get vacation approved on short notice, I had a long drive with a good chance of traffic (I-40 is awful), I had to find parking in Nashville (a city I don�t know well at all), I had to then find the place, and I had to prove I could tune my guitar and play a few simple chords. My guess was that everything would go fairly smoothly and then I�d somehow blow the audition and open myself up for lots and lots of, �Why didn�t you play?� questions.

Unfortunately, Jasmine told me Sunday night that there was no way for her to get off work to go. I asked her if there was no possible way for her to go if she�d write them and ask if she could substitute someone in her place. I was gonna have her designate Kate, so she could take Chris as her guest and then I could take Liz, since she told me that she didn�t believe me about being in the concert and wouldn�t believe me unless I brought a verifiable chunk of Ben Folds along with me next time I saw her. She said a picture wouldn�t be acceptable since she knows how good I am with Photoshop. I informed her that I�ve not once used Photoshop.

I got to work Monday morning (the 23rd) and asked my supervisor, first thing, if I could have Tuesday afternoon off, despite it being short notice. After he said yes, I told him that I felt bad doing it since it was for a concert, but then I explained to him what made it worth taking off and he wished me luck.

I�m always unable to quit talking about things that excite me. I feel sorry for my friends because of that. I told many people at work about the whole event. Charlie even went so far as to say that since I�d be coming in late on Wednesday (and missing an early-morning meeting), that he�d tell everyone that I wasn�t there because I was living the rock star lifestyle.

Tuesday morning: I�m talking to Brian about something work-related and Charlie walks in going, �Wooo! It�s Tony, the guitarman! Wooo! Yeah! Gonna play with Ben Folds Five! Wooo!� I corrected him that it was just Ben Folds and then went back into my office. I sat down and felt like I was gonna throw up. I couldn�t believe that, of all days, I was going to be coming down with something...then I realized it was just the excitement getting to me. A couple hours later, I was at a meeting and I felt like throwing up again. Then at the free pizza lunch, once more. This was completely new to me. Not pleasant, but worth it!

I left work after the free pizza party (the main reason I didn�t just take the whole day off) and learned from Jasmine that they still hadn�t responded. Oh, well. So after each of us getting caught up in slight traffic for just a few minutes, Chris and I made it into Nashville within a few minutes of each other. We drove around for 20 or 30 minutes trying to find a place to park and luckily some guy at a parking garage told us about a free parking lot a couple blocks from where we needed to be.

When I got my guitar out of my trunk, Chris said, �Wait a minute. I�ve got my guitar in my trunk. Should I bring it?� I told him I didn�t know since if they wouldn�t let him that he�d probably have nowhere to put it, so he left it.

We made it to the building and walked inside. There was a security guard standing there and he just looked at us. I said, �We�re here for the Ben Folds concert.� He asked if we had a pass and I said there was probably a list somewhere. He said to wait outside and they�d come get us later. So we sat down, ready to wait 45 minutes. Five or ten minutes later, a couple guys from Branson, Missouri, came up. We started talking to them, they were pretty cool. I thought I was being hardcore driving from Knoxville, but they had an 8 hour drive that morning and were heading back right after the show. I pointed out to them that Bart, Nelson, Milhouse, and Martin went to both of our cities on the same episode of �The Simpsons.� They laughed and said, �Yeah, we know.� We then spat out random quotes from that episode.

Not long after, a couple guys running the show showed up and I asked if we could swap Chris for Jasmine and he said that they weren�t checking IDs or anything. Chris went back to his car and came back with a guitar and no case. We picked on him for being the only person there with no case, but someone else later showed up without one. But he ended up being the only lefty there. More on that later.

So I was the first one that was allowed to audition, I walked in and the woman said to tune my guitar and I said I�d get my tuner and she said I had to do it by ear and I said I was just going to use it to get the first note and she said she was going to give me the first note. She did, I tuned it, no biggie. I was only worried that, because it was somewhat cold outside and I had just walked into a heated room to tune, that I�d have to retune each string a couple times, but nope.

In the e-mail that told us we�d get to play with him, they listed two songs (�Such Great Heights� by the Postal Service and �There�s Always Someone Cooler than You�) and the chords with each. She told me to play an F, then a C, then Gmin, then Amin. I said, �Well, that was �Such Great Heights.�� She was trying to figure out the last chord I needed to show I knew and I said, �You left out E minor,� and played it for her. Some guy that was working there said, �He guessed the song and knew the other chord. He�s in.� They opened the door to the holding room for the recording studio and I could hear him playing. I had to sign a release for being part of the video. I signed it without reading it. Maybe not a good idea, but I didn�t care. I was escorted in and they sat me in the guitarchestra (as he called it) chair closest to him, which was about 20 feet away from him. I had the privilege of being the first person in there with a wristband (meaning I was the first person in there that wasn�t actually working there). I just sat in awe as he ignored my presence and kept practicing.

Chris came in next pretty quickly. The Branson guy took a while to come in and I never asked him why. Chris and I thought that we were probably just that good. So anyway, they sat Chris to my left. He pointed out the problem we�d have with our guitar necks, but I said I didn�t care because I wanted the good seat. Not long after we got in there, they gave us some roughly-written chords on paper along with our cues. They handed out chords for �Such Great Heights,� �There�s Always Someone Cooler than You,� and �Bitches Ain�t Shit.� When we were standing outside, Chris said he saw the latter paper being carried by someone, so that kinda ruined the surprise for us. I knew how to play it already, though.

Not long before we were about to start rehearsing, someone that worked there pointed out that Chris and I would probably have to switch seats due to the fact that he�s a lefty. He laughed at me and said that�s what I got for making fun of him about it for the past 6 years. I was kinda pissed, but not as much as when they put a row of chairs in front of us. Luckily, they were for spectators and not guitarchestra people.

At some point, a guy walked in and I made a comment to Chris and the Branson guy that he looked kinda like Hitler. They agreed. He had a fake moustache and combed over hair and even resembled him. A couple minutes later, he disappeared only to reappear a couple minutes later wearing a black cocktail dress. He also had boobs. I pointed that out and they died laughing. Ben and his band took a short break from warming up and the Hitler guy went to a special piano and started playing a rewritten version of �I Walk the Line,� singing �I Crossed the Line.� We were laughing so hard. It was then pointed out that his name was �Titler.� Chris and I went up to him and got our picture taken, and he was just a happy, jovial old man who loved the fact that we wanted our picture taken with him. Chris told him that he�d inspired his Halloween costume.

Anyway, we practiced each song a couple of times, and then we also practiced a couple little cheesy staged moments. One of those was a guy falling from the balcony. I had three or four people ask me if someone really fell from the balcony. No, it was a dummy. I find it hilarious, though, that it was almost realistic, but I think it had to do with the fact that it was low quality and on a small screen.

In addition to the cameras (mine, Chris�s, and David�s) I had going for me in the studio, I had Josh planning to record the streaming video and Chris had his uncle Russ doing the same thing. Josh said he wasn�t even able to take a screenshot, due to protection on the feed. I don�t know how Russ fared, but I doubt it was much better. I�m happy to know, though, that I�ll be able to order the DVD. I will be doing that.

I got several pictures and a few good videos that will be uploaded to YouTube. Searching �guitarchestra� should yield all of my videos.

Even an hour into rehearsing and watching and such, Chris, the Branson guy, and I kept talking about how this was the coolest thing we�ve ever done, and we hadn�t even done it yet! It was just an immense amount of fun and it was well worth the trip. The concert seemed to go off without a hitch. I was probably quite obnoxious, but I�m ok with that.

Immediately after the show, Chris and I went to go get our picture taken with him. Some chick from all the way across the room beat us to him. A small group formed around him and we were next in line. Some jerk shoved in front of us and Ben said, �This is the last one, and then I�ll be out in the lobby.� Grrr. So we went and waited...and waited...and waited. The Branson guys were out there, and we started talking to a couple of girls, as well. I said that if I was able to get my picture with him that that would make two of my three favorite musicians. They took the bait and asked who the other two were. I said that Billy Corgan was the one I�d probably never get my picture taken with (then again, I never expected to play with Ben Folds in concert) and that the other was Butch Walker, someone no one has ever heard of. All four of them said, �I know who that is.� I was floored! They were my new favorite people.

So we waited in the lobby for 10 or 20 minutes and Chris kept wanting to leave. I wouldn�t let him. Every time someone left the studio, I kept peeking in to see if he was still there. After many tries, I saw him standing there. I told him that I was gonna stay until I knew he left. The crowd in the lobby and outside dwindled from around 50 to 11 (not including the security guard). The guard was pretty much ignoring us, but I was determined to make him laugh. Some old guy walked out of the studio and I said he looked like Telly Sevalas. Chris said he looked like someone else (I don�t remember who) and then I said he looked like Sid Caesar. Listing all of those people that were famous when the guard was growing up got him to look at the dude and then crack a smile. I counted a victory.

I remembered that Jasmine wanted me to call her after it was done, so I did. She watched the whole thing and said that she was amazed how often they showed me. She then told me that wearing the bright blue shirt I wore was probably the best decision I�d ever made. I consciously chose that shirt, but I didn�t think of it in that sense. I�ve worn my �You have died of dysentery� shirt a few times, and I really want a random person to come up and say they love the shirt, but it hasn�t happened yet. I figured I�d get a lot of it there. I went outside and showed David as he was waiting in line to get in. He just chuckled and said, �Lame.� I told him it was awesome. The people he was there with, though, kinda got a kick out of it, I think. At some point, the one of the spectators sitting on the other side of Chris read my shirt and quietly pointed it out to a few of her friends. I saw them trying to nonchalantly look at it and then laugh, but no one said anything about it to me. Oh, well. I�ll take it.

About 10 or 15 minutes before the show started, they must�ve turned off the heat. I told Chris it was a bad idea, but at least we�d all go out of tune together if any of us did. I told noticed I was very cold, but I wasn�t going to put on my jacket. I didn�t want to look like a thug and I didn�t want to cover my shirt. I don�t recall if I noticed I�d stand out, but either way, I was thinking the right way.

Well, after a few more minute, Ben and some woman walked out and started walking through us. He saw several of us with guitars and said, �Thanks, guys, you sounded great.� I was so amazed that no one said anything. I braved up and asked him if he�d take a picture with me and Chris at the same time. He said, �I can take one picture.� After I gave the woman my camera, I shook his hand and told him that it meant a lot to me to be able to play with him and get my picture taken. He just smiled and said, �Thank you.� We got our picture taken (slightly blurry, but not bad) and the Branson guys asked for one. He said, �Guys, I�m late. I�m gonna be in trouble.� I didn�t hear what was said next, as I was in awe of the picture on my camera, but then I heard him say, �Ok, one more. I�m a softy.�

We left, Chris called his dad, I called my mom. As I was talking to her, I realized I hadn�t had anything to eat since the pizza party (11:45 am EST) and hadn�t had anything to drink since leaving my apartment (1:30 EST) and that it was 10:30 EST. I was having too much fun at the concert to care. I hopped in my car, made a couple calls, and started looking for a McDonald�s. I�m a sucker for their fries, but I can usually resist. I have a hard time during the Monopoly game, though.

I talked to Jasmine, Gus, and a couple other people afterwards. They all said that I was on screen quite a bit. One even went as far as to say that I got more face time than the drummer. Gus said that Chris got a nice pan shot from his hand strumming up to his face. I hated telling Jasmine afterwards that she would�ve been sitting where I was if she would�ve been able to go. She was pretty upset about having to work, especially since it was only for like two hours.

I accidentally drove past the McDonald�s I was gonna stop at, but the next one was 20 miles away, I later learned. I stopped there at 11:30 EST, 10 hours since I�d last had anything to drink and nearly 12 hours since I�d last eaten anything. My mouth was so dry, I had a pounding headache...and I didn�t care.

They had to cook up new fries and said I�d have to wait a minute. I said, �I�ve waited 9 hours [gross miscalculation], I can wait another few minutes.� They were delicious.

I walked out of McDonald�s with my large fries and cup of water, hopped in my car, and started listening to the radio. Ten seconds after I got in, �Today� by the Smashing Pumpkins started playing. At first I thought it was a sign that I might meet Billy Corgan in time, but then I just realized that the song was right: �Today is the greatest day I�ve ever known.�

I came back to work today and saw the accountability board in the hallway had �Guitarman� and �Gonna be a rock star� by my name. Also, Charlie actually did say something about me in the meeting.

When I got by my office, a couple of the older guys asked me how it went. I started talking to them and then a couple more joined in to listen. It was kinda odd. Usually the young �uns gather around older people when they have a story. It was slightly odd, but I liked it.

I talked to Chris C. today and, besides being surprised that I took time out of my busy schedule to �talk to the little guy,� he said he saw a bit and looked like I was having a good time.

I�m sure I left out a few things I wanted to type, but I think that a few lines shy of six full, single-spaced pages on Word is enough. To anyone that read this entire thing, props to you.

10-5-06 - Today started out normally. I went to work, excited about going to Chick-fil-A for lunch. I went with Wes and Chris. We came back, and I immediately went to get my allergy shots upon returning. I got my three shots and went back to my office.

About 25 minutes or so after my shots I noticed my armpits were really itchy. I scratched them a bit. And then my palms started itching. And then my scalp. My lungs felt a bit tight, so I took my inhaler which helped. I looked at my inner upper arm and saw red on both of them. I went into the bathroom to the mirror and pulled up my sleeves and saw welts (hives?) like crazy. Then my face started feeling a bit tight. When I scrunched my nose, I felt resistance and it almost hurt a bit. I figured it was definitely time to go back to medical. I signed out and hightailed it out of there. Hopefully David, who was standing outside and said something to me, didn't think I was blowing him off when I only said something in passing.

So I went and told the nurse that I was having a reaction. She looked and said, "Oh, yeah. We'd better get you in here," and handed me to another nurse. She got some information from me and then called one of the doctors. He recommended a shot of Benadryl and, possibly, some epinephrine. She gave me a shot of 50 mg of benadryl. Needles don't bother me, but that needle was big. I only know this because I felt it in my arm when she was holding it there, slowly injecting it. Nobody can hold perfectly still, so I felt it moving around a bit with her slight movements, along with mine. Not pleasant. Then she pulled it out and I saw the thing. I didn't think anything of it, really, but it led to some good soreness in my tricep an hour or so later. Luckily most of the soreness is gone, seven hours removed from the incident.

So then they take me into a room with a bed, put a heart monitor on my finger, and they note my pulse is a bit high (about 90 bpm). My blood pressure was also a bit higher than normal (130/80). The doctor said to give me a shot of 0.1 mL of epinephrine. When he first mentioned I'd be getting some of that, I jokingly asked him if I'd be bouncing off the walls. "No." No sense of humor. Oh, well.

That shot kinda made me feel a bit better, but it didn't really seem to have any real effect. It was probably just the placebo effect. About five minutes later, he said to give me another 0.1 mL. As soon as she started pressing the plunger down, my heart rate spiked from about 85 to 120, which I know is supposed to happen, but it still initially scared the crap out of me. I just didn't know it would be THAT extreme of a result from that stuff. But I mean, these weren't regular heart beats - my heart was pounding. I could see my stomach jumping with each beat. I was watching the heart monitor and I made some comment about how high it was, purely in fascination, but I think the nurse assumed I was worried, not knowing my inquisitive nature. She turned the monitor to where I couldn't see it. That left me to concentrate on how weird my body felt from the stuff. It was just very odd.

So after those shots, my body calmed down. Heart rate went back to 80-85. The nurse took my blood pressure again, and though I didn't hear what it was, I assume it went back down. My arms, as I said before, are still a bit sore and tender from the benadryl and epinephrine shots, but I'm otherwise fine. They made me go home from work two hours early (I was in medical for about two hours). My supervisor and Wes drove me home, taking two vehicles so I was able to have my car here.

I'm glad I didn't try to tough this out. It could've ended pretty badly. Some people, and I admit that I'm one of those people, seem to think that they're invincible to some things, but you never know how fragile life is until things like this start to happen. When I was initially talking to the nurse, I was getting worried about how long it was taking for her to give me any treatment. As I was sitting there, my face started getting a bit numb and I started getting kinda dizzy.

I'm no Superman, and I'm glad I didn't try to be one. It could've been much worse. We hear it all the time: don't take life for granted.