What's going on with me?

12-30-04 - Hmmm...I mentioned yesterday that the person was a "winner." She just discovered the page. She won nothing. Someone else discovered it today. I wonder if the person that got oh so pissed at me the other day is starting to get riled up over this, heh.

Wow...last night through about 1:30 this afternoon was just insane. I really hope that the party involved makes the right decision.

Me and Liz have been dating 2 months as of early this morning. Well, it's been two months since she asked if I wanted to go out with her some time (yes, she asked me...heh).

Tomorrow, we're going to Sparta to Annie's house for all kinds of fun and lots of sparkling stuff, cuz it's SO freaking good! I'll post picture of it Saturday night, probably. I'll also post some more pictures on the friends page and then some more silly pictures of myself. This is all assuming nothing comes up that night.

12-29-04 - And we have the first winner! To find out who the first person to discover the secret page is...find it yourself!

12-27-04 - The whole Iraq episode finally hit home today.

At about 10:30 this morning, my aunt Joyce (who I've always said reminds me of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan," heh) called and asked if either of my parents were home. I told her they weren't. She asked if I'd tell my mom something for her and I said "Ok." "Todd's been injured," she said.

Todd is her son-in-law. He married my cousin Marty. I've only met him a couple times, but he's a cool guy. Todd and Marty gave birth to a son about a year or so ago, I think.

Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that Todd was in a truck and he was sitting in the front passenger seat when a bomb went off. I don't know if it was internal or external, but they got hit. It killed the driver and it should've killed him. She told me that most of the guys, when riding in the trucks, take off their helmets, but Todd never did for whatever reason. A piece of shrapnel went through his helmet and cut his head. He may have a skull fracture, but that's it. He required 30 stitches and is otherwise fine. That helmet saved him. He's going to be shipped to Germany to receive the medical attention he needs. I don't know if he's gonna be coming home right after that or not.

I don't know if this happened yesterday or today, but I almost lost a family member. If you know anyone that's over their now, I hope they're doing alright.

12-26-04 - My sister Liz is an idiot.

I can't believe how immature she is. She's coming up on 15 years old in a few months, but she doesn't even act like she's 7...ever. I'm serious. I know that there's always a little bit of sibling rivalry in families and it may sound like I'm whining, but the way she acts and "behaves" is ridiculous. Gus and I are so fed up with her crap. I feel sorry for Gus for having to stay and put up with it for another couple years, but lucky for me I'll be gone in a few months.

Yes, I know that I was 15 once and I wasn't as mature as I could've been, but I wasn't blatantly immature for the pure result of coming off as a brat. I feel bad saying this, but it's true: my parents failed with her. She is not a good person at all. The past year or so, I've been letting her know it, though she just rubs it off like it's nothing. I will continue to do so until she learns, which may not ever occur.

I tried for so long to just be a nice brother to her, even through the beginning of all this crap she started a couple years ago, but I just don't tolerate it and I haven't for quite some time.

Hmmm...maybe I was just whining or maybe I'm just venting, I don't know. It's true, regardless.

12-25-04 - Another year, another Christmas. The conversation I was expecting to have (labelled "interactions" in the last post) didn't happen while I was at Liz's, which was mucho fun, by the way. Before the big dinner last night, she and I went delivering the presents she got for her friends. I met a couple people including her best friend Rachael and this gal named Krista who is friends with my friend Michelle. I met Michelle in Drama this semester. All of these people of whom I speak went to Riverdale high school (bah, them and their blasted Quiz Bowl team).

I think I may finally have New Year's Eve plans, which is cool. Looks like I'll be heading to Sparta to spend the night at a friend's house. Should be good fun.

I got some good presents this morning, some of it stuff I'll probably end up needing when I move to Oak Ridge in May/June. I also got a few silly shirts. I'm wearing one of them now. It's from Hot Topic (bleh) and it's one you've probably seen if you've been in there: it's got Ralph Wiggum on fire and he says "These rubber pants are hot!" Tee hee.

Hmmm...I wasn't gonna type anything more about Liz (trying not to be all mushy), but I'm in the mood to type and I have nothing else worth typing about and no one to chat with. Things are looking really good between us, which really excites me. During the last week of school this semester, we spent a lot of time together...and we didn't get sick of each other. That's just awesome. We're still getting to know each other, but that's part of the fun of meeting someone new, huh? Her brothers love me, her friends seem to as well, and her parents are taking to me quite well, considering.

There are two things which could hinder (if not stop) things between us, and so far we haven't really had to deal with either of them. One of them is the "thing" I keep hinting about. It's something that some of you already know about and some others have probably guessed. It's no big deal, but it apparently still surprises people (like the aforementioned Michelle). If you still have no idea what I mean, I'll give you a hint about how to learn about it (even though I promised myself I wouldn't give this hint away):

Go back a page...you'll get the point.

Heh. I love being cryptic and I hate when people do it to me. I'm such a jerk, ain't I? ;-)

The other thing which may hinder our relationship is the fact that she's a freshmen and I'm about to graduate. That's no big deal except for the fact, of course, that I'll be heading to Oak Ridge. I know, I know - "You've done it twice before." Heck, this'll be the shortest distance long distance relationship I'll have ever had if things work out. I'll manage, I think. Here's hoping. (And yes, there have been talks about making things official, which'll probably happen after break. We just want to make sure we can make it through this and be fine. If we can, and things are going quite swimmingly thus far, then we'll probably have no trouble when I graduate. Fingers crossed!)

Wow, I'm a dork. I should shut up.

Continuation - I don't know if I pointed it out above or not, but that's the only hint for now. I already have one person hounding me about this and I don't need any more. There's no point to this whole little thing if I'm just gonna give in and point everyone in the right direction. The clue is there and it works. I have another hint that I'll post some time after New Year's, given that I remember it by then (which I will make a point to do). Ooh, I'm racking up the evil points and the creativity points. Why? Because this paragraph is loaded. To the person that is getting all worked up over this, I suggest you lie on your back, stretch your arms and point your toes (so your feet are parallel with the ground), and take a few deep breaths and go to sleep. Like I said a few sentences ago, there's no point in me just coming right out and giving away the "solution" (and no, that's not a hint).

I'm gonna kick myself for this in the morning.

12-23-04 - The past couple days have kinda been bleh for me. The holes where my teeth were are kinda weird. They were sore for a while, but they're getting much better which is good. Using the syringe to shoot water up in them isn't as bad as I thought it would be. If I aim it just right, I can feel the water (and then the little puff of air when the water's gone) hit the surfaces in that hole. Hahaha, that's so nasty but it feels kinda cool, for some sick reason!

I don't know if it had anything to do with the teeth or what not, but this morning I shaved and showered...nothing out of the ordinary. However, toward the end of my shower I started getting very dizzy and I almost passed out. My vision was definitely blurred like crazy. I was pretty worried, actually. That was the longest I'd stood since getting my teeth out. I took a bit longer to shave than I meant to, so that probably helped. I got out and got dried and dressed and put my stuff away and I hurried to the kitchen, thinking that maybe I just needed some food or drink in my tummy. I grabbed a big cup and put ice in it, but then ran into the living room and laid down. I was burning up and on the verge of passing out. I told Gus to get me some water and I haven't stood much since then. I hope this doesn't come back at all :-(

Liz came over today. She was here for several hours, but I would've liked it if she could've stayed longer. There was some bad weather heading this way, though, so I understand that she needed to go.

Heh...I found out something surprising about somebody I know, earlier today. Well, it was something someone told me about this person a few months ago (I don't remember who told me), but it kinda surprised me to hear it from that person, cuz I really didn't believe it when I first heard it. My advice to that person when s/he (hahaha) reads it: keeping things like that a secret seems to be the best thing to do, but trust me - you might be better off in the long run just letting it out to the person that you're keeping it from. (For any guessers out there, it has nothing to do with being gay or pregnant.)

I'm going to Liz's Friday. Some interesting things might happen over there, as far as my interactions with other people are concerned...I may or may not post it on here, depending on what all happens. I know, I know: saying "I have a secret, but I'm not gonna tell you" is a crappy thing to do. I'll try to keep that to a minimum. This is probably something that I'll tell to anyone who asks me, but wouldn't be a good thing to just post out in the open like this.

Michelle, you're a great girl. I really enjoy talking to you and I'm glad we're able to be as open with each other as we are. You're a good friend and I hope everything clears up for you :-)

12-20-04 - This is gonna be a very long post.

Wow, I've had a great break so far! I moved back home from the dorms on Thursday, after spending pretty much the whole week with Liz. Things are going very well with her! I'm very excited about that :-)

Friday morning, I went to Murfreesboro and saw the Lemony Snickett movie with Liz, her two brothers, and her friend Nicole. It was funny - I was sitting between Liz and her 13 year old brother Mike, and the whole time during the movie I kept hearing Liz say, "This is the best movie ever! I love it!" while Mike was saying "This is the worst movie ever! I hate it!" He was upset that it didn't follow exactly with the book. What a dork :-P I enjoyed the movie, though I think that Jim Carrey detracted from it quite a bit. He didn't do a bad job at all, he was just his normal Jim Carrey self, which has the tendency to ruin things sometimes.

After the movie, I went to Liz's house to meet her parents. Was I nervous? Well of course, to some extent. But I wasn't gonna let myself be intimidated, despite the fact that her dad is a former Marine and is now a drill sargeant for a ROTC or Junior ROTC group. In fact, the only thing we said to each other all night was "Hello" and "Goodbye." Oh, well. Her mom told her that she really liked me, though, so that's great. She's probably coming over here on Wednesday and will meet my posse of weirdness. It'll be fun, probably.

After leaving her house, we went to the Exit/In in Nashville to see Butch Walker. American Hi-Fi opened for then and the opener for them was a band calld The Resuce Effort. Holy crap, all three acts were amazing. I never would've guessed that American Hi-Fi would be good. About halfway the The Rescue Effort's first song, both me and Liz looked at each other at the same time and said something to the extent of "Holy crap, they are great!"

Well, during American Hi-Fi's first song, I looked over and saw Butch freaking Walker standing on the little ramp by where the men's restroom was. As soon as I saw him, I grabbed Liz's arm and said "Holy crap, there's Butch Walker!" I kept looking over there periodically and saw people talking to him and getting their picture taken with him. After a couple songs, I said "Liz, we're going." So we walk up the ramp and I kinda stopped next to him. I don't know if he didn't see me or just didn't feel like acknowledging me, but that really threw me off guard. I don't know what I was planning on saying, but I wasn't gonna be starstruck. When I had to get his attention, though, it messed with me. All I ended up doing was putting my hand out and saying "I am a huge fan." He said thanks and then I asked if I could get a picture taken with him. He said "I'm about to run on, come find me when I get off stage." I said ok, but the whole thing confused me since American Hi-Fi was only a few songs into their set. It turns out he went on to play keyboard for them for a couple songs.

Well, when he was done playing, he ran offstage and went into the back. I was like "D'oh!" I kept looking up there to see if he was gonna come back out before it was time for his set and I FINALLY saw him. We ran up there and he was standing next to Russell the Love Muscle, a DJ on the Buzz. I didn't notice Russell at first (yes, this kinda matters a little bit). I think I said "Sorry to bother you again, but would you mind having a picture taken with me?" He said, "Ok, real quick."

My camera was ready and I handed it to Liz, but my camera tends to be dumb at times and sometimes if you don't push the button halfway down and let it focus first, it'll take forever before it decides to take a picture. Well, she pressed it all the way down (my fault, since I didn't tell her she had to do it halfway first) and nothing happened. We stood there for a few seconds and then I reached up to grab the camera and see what was wrong and it flashed in my hand. Russell kinda laughed and said "There it goes."

Well, I was gonna ask if it was ok to try one more time and then Butch said "I'm about to have to go on." I felt terrible, just because I bugged him both times he was waiting to go on and because I wasn't gonna get the picture with him. Well, a couple seconds later, Russell shoves his drink in Liz's hand and said "Give me your camera." I handed it to him and the picture was taken! I got my picture taken with Butch Walker! :-D

Afterwards, Liz was all excited because she got to hold Russell's drink. She said she loves hearing him on the radio because he never fails to make her laugh. That's awesome, we had such a great time that night.

Saturday, we went to Shopryland to meet up with Annie and Daniel. We had fun there and I might have some pictures put up some time in the near future. I gave Liz and Annie their Christmas presents and they were both very happy with them. That makes me feel good. I've only known both of them for a short while, but they both mean very much to me. I hate that I only really mention them in this and not anyone else. Sorry, people. They're just the people I've seen the most in recent weeks.

Hmmm...Sunday was a big boring nothing. This morning (Monday) I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I only had the two upper ones. I wasn't nervous at all and I'm glad about that, because it was nothing. They put the IV in my arm and immediately gave me the anesthetic, which I felt right away. It was cool B-)

My mom timed it and she said that I was only out for 12 minutes. That's just awesome. I felt nauseous for maybe 30 minutes, but I was eating immediately afterwards. Within an hour of the surgery, I had two cinnamon rolls, a strawberry milkshake, and a couple glasses of water. I've felt great, though a little tired, all day. I've only taken one of my pills so far and I didn't really feel any effect from it, but it's time for another and I think I'll take it since I AM a little bit sore. I can feel the holes when I move my mouth around and it feels kinda weird when I swallow. Bleh.

Kate came over today for a couple hours. It was good. I always enjoy seeing her. She still means quite a bit to me; definitely still one of the most important people in my life. I gave her her Christmas present and she seemed to like it quite a bit, as well, which made me happy. I wish she could've stayed longer, but that's how things go. We're gonna end up spending a lot of time together next week once I get the third season of "24." We need to get it watched before the fourth season premieres on the 9th.

Well, I think I'm FINALLY done. Thanks for reading this. Have a good day.

12-11-04 - Why do I dwell on things in the past? I�m talking things where I did something that is no big deal now because they happened over a decade ago. They may have upset the people involved for only a day, if that long, before they forgot about it. Either way, these things stick with me. I hate thinking back at how I acted toward my family when I was younger. It�s true, I was selfish. I didn�t want to admit it then. Heck, I really didn�t think I was. For the past few years, though, I�ve realized that I hate who I was back then. I�m so glad I�ve matured past that point. Regardless, I�m still not close to my family. I try and try, but I just can�t get to that point. It has just always seemed awkward to me, for whatever reason. And now, here I am�five months away from moving away from home for good. Sure, I�ll only be three hours away, but still. I could�ve made these last 22 or so years so much better by not being a jerk.

It�s odd how dwelling on one thing (i.e., yesterday�s entry) can lead to something else.

The song �Still Fighting It� by Ben Folds is one of saddest songs in my opinion. I love it. It�s always the first song I listen to when I�m depressed. Just listening to the lyrics of that song and watching the video have the most striking effects on me, somehow.

12-10-04 - As is the way it always goes, the two people to whom this is written don't even read this thing (as far as I know).

Congratulations. You have succeeded in making me feel like total and utter crap for the past couple hours and it will probably remain that way through tomorrow night and maybe even long after that, once I hear about all the fun I missed because of you two. I've tried being friends with both of you and I'm gonna go along trying, without saying a word about this. I don't often say this to people, heck I don't think I ever have, but here is why I am not going to hold a grudge like you are doing to me: I am better than you. Argue if you will. I'm not saying this is true in all ways; but I am, ironically, acting much more like a Christian in this whole matter than either of you two are. Think about that.

A couple other things: Unless you are involved, you can ask me about this, but I will not tell you.

To the chick (yes, I said it) involved: Don't worry. I can't really hold it against you, so I won't.

Continuation: Much to my surprise, I felt much better after writing and posting this. Chick, thanks for being a good friend. You and other chick did a good job in making me feel loved :-)

12-9-04 - Well, I was given an official job offer a couple days ago. Well, I lied: I was given two. One of them was a process engineer and one of them was a system engineer. They're quite similar and I don't feel like talking about the difference. I was a little upset because I was hoping to get a design engineer offer. It turns out that Mike wanted to offer me a design position (three job offers), but something got gummed up in the works. I'm going to call Sharon (the HR lady) this morning some time and see what ended up happening. Either way, I will end up having made a definite decision by the end of the day.

P.S. - Benefits are awesome and I'll be pulling a great salary :-D

Continuation: This morning, I received a call from Sharon at Y-12 and they did offer me the design position, which I accepted. I will probably move to Oak Ridge not long after graduation in May and then I will begin work shortly after that. I'm excited!

Other than the stupid Kinetics project I'm currently stuck on (for the fourth time)...and something else having to do with someone else, life is great!

12-3-04 - So 15 days ago (November 18th) I had my interview from Y-12 and Mike told me that if I didn't hear anything from them within two weeks to give him a call and he'd poke and prod and whatever to get me that call. Yesterday made two weeks, so I called him today. I left a message with his secretary, as he was out at the moment. I got to a couple classes and I come back ready to check my voice mail to see if he'd replied yet.

I opened my door and my roommate is standing there, talking on the phone, and he says "Oh, hold on! He just walked in the door!" So I grab the phone and it's Mike. I talk to him for a second and tell him "Yeah, you told me to call you if I haven't heard anything." He told me that he's not sure why I hadn't heard anything yet, but he'll make sure I do.

And, I guess just to give me a little idea of how things were proceeding, he told me that things seemed pretty positive and that a couple people who interviewed me seemed interested in hiring me (I interviewed for maybe 4 or 5 positions). He said I would probably get offered one, if not two. He said he wasn't able to say anything specific and that I should just wait for the official call. That's completely fine with me!

So yeah, that was good. Later, Annie and Corey came over and we were gonna head to Steak and Shake. I said "I'll drive." We hop in my car, I start to back out, and I notice things seem weird. We get out and look and yay! my front passenger tire is flat. Oh, wow! (That was for you, Annie.) This coming week is going to be so incredibly hectic, which sucks, and that's just one thing I wish I didn't have to deal with. At least I wasn't planning on going home today!

Liz and Annie, you two are great...just so you know.

12-2-04 - Goodness, where do I start? I haven't been updating this website as much as I really want to, but then again I've been busy with school and other crap. Me and my friend Liz are going to see Butch Walker at the Exit/In in Nashville on December 17th. I'm quite excited about that!

I'm cold, tired, and ready to get my call from Y-12. I've felt quite confident since the interview, but it's been two weeks since I went there. Mike told me that if I haven't heard anything from anyone there in two weeks to give him a call and he'll poke and prod and find something out for me. I still feel confident and my guess is that 1.) the Personnel department is piddling around a bit and 2.) they're just interviewing other people before making their decision on anyone. I hope I get that job, as there's so much I think I would love about it.

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