1) You insult people and they retaliate by trying to compress your femoral artery
2) You get so excited when you get 3 candy bars for the price of one that people who work in the surrounding labs come outside to ask if you're ok
3) Your mood is determined by how much fat you had to cut through that day
4) You laugh when someone says "I am the supinator" in his best Arnold Schwartzenegger voice
5) The blackboard makes a noise and the prof says "sounds like it needs an enema"
6) You discuss the motivation of proctology standardized patients
7) A student in the library says "can you keep it down? I'm on the phone!"
8) You laugh uncontrollably in lab when someone says "can I give you a hand"... and you reply "No, but I'll give you the finger"
9) The nickname of your lab partner is "the master of the tools"
10) You go to the library when you feel like being social
11)You think of the flexor digiti minimi when you see Austin Powers
12) You base the amount you allow yourself to drink on a Thursday night on what part of the body you're dissecting Friday morning
13) You doodle the brachial plexus when you're bored
14) Trips to the library turn into no holds barred wrestling matches
15) Bronchial sounds remind you of Darth Vader
16) You're flattered when someone says "Really? You don't smell like the lab"
17) A teacher asks people to name causes of irregular respiration and your friend says "Let's play the feud!!"
18) You're told "your fetal circulation is so adorable... the diagram, i mean"
19) You're excited to get out of class early becuase that means more study time
20) The biochemistry professors remind you of Dustin Hoffman and Ozzy Osbourne
21) People are amazed that your parties last past 2am
22) You say "oh synapse" instead of "oh snaps"
23) You say "oh no he dendritic"
24) You proudly display your undergrad textbooks
25) You've spent more than 16 hours studying in one day for an exam that is two days away
26) You only need two people to make a "six-degrees-of-separation hook-up chain" to your roommate
27) There are days you only want to be around med students and days you want to be around anyone but a med student
28) The course director says "I don't know if you've been to his lectures, but he's been on FIRE lately"
29) The doctor in charge of your small group session says "congenital compliment deficiencies are about as common as rockinghorse poop"
30) The couse director dives between the chalkboard, you see legs wiggling, and she surfaces with a couple of erasers
31) You ask a doctor who gets the final say when he and the attending disagree on treatment and he simply responds with a wink... and this makes you think he's the coolest person in the world
32) You're mad the library doesn't open before 11am on Sunday
33) All the librarians know you by name
34) When you meet a law student at a party and tell him you're a med student, he says "Would you stop going to our library?"
35) You ALWAYS justify your studying to others by saying "I've been such a slacker the past few days, I really gotta catch up"
36) Your friends say you should be the star of a reality show called "Who wants to marry a sugar-momma?"
37) Random people tell you that they had a urinary tract infection last week and the penicillin they got for it gave them a rash
38) Halloween party costumes include Dermatome Man, Blue Balls, The Gemelli Twins, and Sponge Bob No Pants
39) People think there's another person studying with you because your books and notes take up so much space on the table
40) Blue pen means excitatory, red pen means inhibitory, green pen means drug name, and purple pen means side effects (DUH!)
41) You have more information on a 3x5 pharmacology notecard than used to be on a whole test in undergrad
42) You have a favorite lawyer joke
43) You think the TV show Scrubs is funnier to you than non-med students because they don't know what a GOMER is
44) You tell people you're a "grad student" so they won't ask you why their knee pops or shoulder clicks
45) A common arguement between classes is which pilot G2 pen is better, the 07 or the 05
46) You get excited when there's a lecture on a disease you've had
47) You consider going in to get your BUN and creatine levels checked so you can catch early focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (and have potential donors all lined up)
48) When your doctor finds out you're a med student, she says "Well, what you do you think is wrong with you?"
49) You schedule the first four days after exams as recovery time consisting only of sleep, movies, and food
50) You think "School of Rock" should have been named "The Ryan Zaklin Story"
51) You realize the worst part about waking up at 4:30 for your surgical rotation is that there's no one else awake to complain to
52) Everytime you tell someone you don't want to go into family medicine, you follow up with "but I really am a good person"
53) You're accused of being an anti-dentite
54) YOUR NON-MED SCHOOL FRIENDS ARE SHOCKED WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING DUMB AND YOUR MED SCHOOL FRIENDS ARE SHOCKED WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING SMART
55) You shoosh people watching a football game so you can hear the sideline reporter give the injury update
56) While you're writing poetry to a loved one, you ask a friend "Hey, what rhymes with angina?"
57) It's obvious to you that the minute and a half you have before you meet up with friends is exactly enough time to organize your pathology notes in chronological order
58) Your gymnast friend considers the shoulder a weight-baring joint because he can walk on his hands
59) You insist on stopping every couple hours on road trips because you live in fear of DVT
60) Your pretty sure you saw your cadaver on Sopranos once
61) You don't understand why this year's "Current Medical Diagnosis and Treatment: Orthopedics" didn't win the Pulitzer
62) You refer to fake patients (ie. Steven Ladd) as if they're real people
63) You feel like such a rebel for sleeping in until 9am