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The Flying Girl

    I’ve never really fit in, but yesterday somehow in the middle of English class I accidentally burnt a big hole in the front of my shirt.  It just happened, spontaneous bra combustion, or something.  I had to tape several of those scratchy brown paper towels together and to my shirt so I could finish the day without flashing somebody.  Not only did I have to do that, but I had this awful burnt rubber and singed hair smell.  Well, I just couldn’t take it anymore, I was now a freak.  So, after going home, I went up to the top of the house and jumped off.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that I could fly. 
    
    Plan foiled, I flew to the St. Charles River and threw myself in.  Foiled again!  I could somehow breathe underwater.  I was so mad, although it was pretty neat to see all the fish and stuff.  The water was nasty though.  It tasted like fishy old feet and mud.  Since I couldn’t drown myself, I had to think of another way to do it.

    
    I went back home and found my dad’s sharpest hunting knife.  You know, one of those huge things that normally no one wants to mess with.  I went to the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a huge mess and sliced my wrists.  It hurt like hell!  I can’t believe how hard you actually have to press in order to cut deep enough.  It was kinda pretty to sit there and watch the dripping blood make a lacework design in the tub.  I’m sure you’ve already guessed what happened next.  My arms healed!  No kiddin, I was sitting there watching the blood drip and the next thing I knew, I was watching the skin mold itself back together.  Kinda like the way you smooth a seam in clay. 

    
    So here I am, this incredible flying clay woman who can breathe under water.  I knew there had to be something that would be my weakness.  All superheroes have weaknesses.  I went to the Harvard Square T station and jumped down onto the tracks.  Nope, the electricity just tickled me.  I wait for the T and I passed right through it, just like a ghost.  I went to the zoo and got bitten by a snake, wrestled both a bear and a lion, jumped under a sitting rhino, and swam with biting sharks.  Nothing worked!

    
    Man, I was tired.  It was late; so I decided to go home and give it a night before I tried anything else.  My mom was waiting for me when I got in.  She had found my shirt and the blood in the bathroom.  But unlike most mom’s who would be freaking out, she just explained to me that it was normal.  All girls had to go through this when they hit maturity and though it seemed like a big thing, it really wasn’t.  I told her it wasn’t what she thought and that she didn’t understand.  She just smiled and said that when it happened to her, she burned her hair right from her head.  She had to wear a hat for several months until it grew back a little.  She told me that all the girls have superpowers and that I just happened to find mine a little early.  A little relieved, I went to bed.

    
    When I woke up this morning, I looked in the mirror and nothing seemed different.  It was the same old me staring back.  I climbed up on my bed and jumped off and landed on the floor with a loud thump.  Mom came running in to see what happened.  I told her that I couldn’t fly anymore.  She gave me a look like I was crazy and took my temperature.  I asked her if it was normal to lose powers.  She gave me another look and called the doctor.  I decided not to say anything else.  The doctor told Mom that I was just sleep walking and that it wasn’t anything to worry about and that I should get some rest.  We came home and Mom put me to bed and told me to go to sleep.  The thing she doesn’t know is that when she was doing the dishes, I jumped out of the window and flew to school to get my homework.  I guess I didn’t lose them after all.



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