Everything on Scrivener's Quill is © Dianna Dalley, and is not to be used in any way by anyone else.  All rights reserved.

Dream

    I do not know how long it was that I lay on my bed fearing to close my eyes.  The minute I fell asleep I knew I had done so and began to cry out in terror.  The shadows in my mind began to form into the images that had haunted me for so long now. 
   
    I had been haunted by the same nightmare for several weeks now and feared the time my body required me to sleep.  The lack of sleep was beginning to show so much so that my mother had sent for the healer who plied me with noxious brews and bled me nigh to death.

If only they believed me that I was being pursued by the devil himself.  My mother gently applied the poultices the local witch had prescribed.  She bade me drink potions to help me sleep that her mother had taught her to make.  I would do as she asked if only to soothe her. 
    
    Through all this we continued to prepare for my wedding due to take place in three days.  I pled with my parents to postpone the wedding until my mind was again my own, but my father flatly refused saying that I would settle down once married with children of my own to care for.  

   
    Left on my own to rest, I was now totally bound in my dream.  The weight of the blackness around me pressed in, threatening to smother me.  I writhed in agony as fetid breath touched my cheek and burned my soft skin.  The weight of one of the demons pressed me into my bed as it climbed up my body to sit on my stomach. 

    
    Pinned as I was, I saw the days of my childhood pass me by as if in another dream.  I was such a precocious child.  Never did I think that my father would tie me to the world with marriage.  I thought my life could go on as it had in the past.  Without a care in the world and free to do as I chose, my days were full of adventure and leisure.

    
    Looking up at the demon pinning me to the bed, I peered into the shadow of its face, trying to identify who it might be.  The shadows shifted and parted and I found myself staring into my own face.  I wondered why I wanted to confront myself in my dreams.  As I stopped fighting myself, the demon sprang away from me allowing me to lie more comfortably in my bed.  Relaxing now, I let my mind wander through my thoughts, dreams, and feelings. 

    
    The journey was extraordinary.  I relived all the moments in my childhood, my great adventures and misadventures alike.  The feelings of happiness, joy, fear, and sadness all filled me and flowed through me.  “I was free then,” I thought with such sadness that I had to stop all other thoughts.

Why would I not be free now?  I would be chatelaine of my husband’s castle.  I would still be able to have adventures, just not the same as I had in the past.  I would be able to share with my children my stories and have them share with me theirs.  There would be many new experiences that I would not be able to have if I were not married.
    
    With these discoveries, the shadows departed and I slowly began to wake.  As with all dreams, the memories began to fade as the sounds of daily life in the castle touched my ears.  A smile touched my lips as I rose and summoned my maid and the seamstress.  I knew somehow that the nightmares were over and that I had a full life ahead of me.



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