putdowns

1. Your so ugly you joined an ugly contest and they told you "Sorry, no professionals".
2. Your so ugly when you were born your mama said "what a treasure" and your dad said "yes, lets go bury it".
3. Your so ugly they push your face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
4. Your so ugly the government moved Halloween to your birthday.
5. Your so ugly you make onions cry.
6. If ugly were bricks, you'd have your own projects.
7. Your so ugly even rice krispeys wont talk to you.
8. Your so ugly you turned medussa to stone.
9. Your so ugly your partner takes you to work just so she wont have to kiss you goodbye.
10. Your so old, I told you to act your own age and you died.
11. Your so old you SS # is 1.
12. Your so old, back when you were in school there was no history class.
13. Your so old, your birth certificate says expired on it.
14. Your so old you knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
15. You so poor you cant afford to pay attention.
16. Your so poor, when you go to KFC you have to lick other peoples fingers,
17. Your so poor , when people ring your doorbell you say"DING!"
18. Your so poor you eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
19. Your so poor your face is on the front of a foos stamp.
20. Your so poor burglers break into your house and leave you money.
21. Your so short you can see your feet on your drivers license.
22. Your so short you model for trophies.
23. Your so nasty you made speed stick slow down.
24. Your so nasty you made right guard turn left.
25. Your so nasty you have to creep up on bathwater,
26. Your so nasty you went swimming and now we have the dead sea.
27. Your so cockeyed, you dont need a rear view mirror to drive.
28. Your so cockeyes, when you cry tears roll down your back.
19. Your so hairy you look loke you got buckwheat in a head lock.
20. Your so hairy bigfoot is taking your picture.
21. Your so lazy, you think a two income family is when your partner has two jobs.
22. Your so skinny you peep through keyholes with both eyes.
23. Your so bald you took a shower and got brain washed,
24. Your teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when you smile.
25. Your breath is so bad, when you yawn your teeth duck.
26. Your lips are so big, chapstick had to invent a spray.
27. You remind me of a toilett bowl. White, round, and smells like sh*t.
28. Your so stanky when you pull off your panties it sounds like velcro.
29. Your house is so small you have to go outside to eat a large pizza.
30. Your house is so small you have to go outside just to change your mind.
31. Your house is so dirty, you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.