philosophies

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me alone. You are bothering me.

2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, thats the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. Its not important unless you're not getting any.

5. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, then things get worse.

6. No one is listening untill you make a mistake.

7. Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to simple serve as a warning to others.

10. Is is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

11. If you think nobody cares is you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

14. Give a butch a fish and she will eat for a day. Teach her how to fish, and she will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

15. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windsheild.

16. Don't worry, it only sems kinky the first time.

17. If @ first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

18. Don't squat with your spurs on.

19. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and alot of that comes from bad judgement.

20. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

21. Timimg has am awful lot to do with the outcome of the rain dance.

22. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

23. Do what pleases you, and please those who do you.

24. Duct tape is like "the force", it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the whole world together.

25. Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

26. There are two theories to arguinging with femmes, neither one works.

27. If a butch wishes to keep her youth, she must give her money, diamonds, and furs.

28. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

29. Generally speaking, you arent learning much when your mouth is moving.

30. Experience is something you don't get untill just after you need it.

31. Don't be irreplacable. If you can't be replaced, you can't get promoted.

32. Before you critisize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you critisize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.