geprgecarlin

1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
3.The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman "Where's the self-help section?"
she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
5. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets arent going as ghosts but as matresses?
6. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
7. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wron?
8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to harm himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
9. Is there another word for "synonym"?
10. Isn't it a bit unerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
18. Can vegetarions eat animal crackers?
19. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
20. Why do they put braile on drive - through bank machines?
21. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
22. How do they get the deer to cross @ thay yellow road sign?
23. Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they tast funny?
24. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
25. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
26. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
27. How is it possible to have a civil war?
28. If God dropped acid, would he see people.
29. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
30. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
31. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
32. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an S in it?
33. Why are hemmorieds called "hemmeroids" instead of "assteroids"?
34. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot @ them?
35. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
36. Why is there an experation date on sour cream?
37. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?