listen, this poetry comes from my darker days. the times when i was so far down in my own pit of despair i never thought i'd see any light again. i can still get like that, yet now i choose to fight instead. if i ever write more it shall be thrown up here
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i am the forsaken one. Heart and soul turned to black. An angel throw down to earth and shunned for all eternity. i am the true creatur of shame. Composed of all you hate and fear. i am the fallen angel.
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i am the empty one. i see you an empty hollow soul as i. Just trying to pass for normal. We are the forgotten souls.
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i am the messed one. Jumbles of thoughts racing in my brain. i am the product of chaos and misery. i am the one who can cry at one touch or kill at one look. i am the true creature of insanity, made from what was and what could never be.
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i am the quiet one. Never speaking unless i have too. My mouth taped shut and locked. Just as my heart and soul. My wings shorn off and fallen on the floor. i am what was made of angel's that died, tossed down to the earth and shunned for all eternity.
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i am the empty one. Void of all emotion. A body and soul scarred and battered. i am the one who with one touch will break and fall to pieces. i am just a porcelain doll.-
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i am the emotionless one. Frozen off from all feeling. i am the ice princess in a castle of hate. i am a creature of bitterness and pain. i am the snow queen and all i can cause is pain.
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Ice princess in her castle of black. Castle of hate and pain. Ice princess her blood frozen in her veins. Soul as black as death. Ice princess heart restricted to feel. The true creature of all you loathe and regret. Ice princess, will you be able to thaw her?
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Forsaken child. Left to die. She's roken and battered. Forsaken child she grows to nothing. All alone in her insanity. Forsaken chld, she's forgotten how to cry. Locked in her room she is dying. Forsaken child, you know how to end your pain.
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Razor glitter. i tell the painful truth, but it shines so that you can't ignore it. Razor, pain and biting. Glitter that you can't ignore. i won't be silenced. The razor glitter shines through.
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Degeneration. We are it. The world degenerates as we stand and laugh. We kill the world slowly, as well as ourselves. We pervert the would and everyone in it. Use others for our own good and throw them back. Shatter their souls. Shatter my soul, degenerate me.
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Undeniable Loss
i love you, i hate you.
i can't live without you.
The moment is wasted and i could almost taste it.
i cut myself on the broken hearts,
and lie down to die in the blood.
You wasted the moments all you did was lie to them.
i love you, i hate you.
i can't live without you.
It's you're fault i'm addicted to razors.
it's all just a gradual nightmare filled with undeniable loss.
Suicidal impulse.
This moment is wasted and i cut myself on the broken hearts again.
Again and again the hearts are cutting.
What we do is just a cycle of habit.
Neither gaining always losing, it's and undeniable loss.
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And then she looked in his eye.
And knew she had to get rid of her disguise
As she pulled of her mask
His face turned quick to rage
For as she knew she loved him
He could never feel the same
She showed him who she was
He threw her away in vain
Her pain was too much to bear
He turned away to leave, and looked back once more with strain
And all that was there was her crying in the rain
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You are gone.
And i am here.
Sitting in the dark
Staring into space
All that is left is the tears coursing down my face.
You left me here alone.
No more pain for you.
All i am left with is
The pain of losing you.
It�s almost too much to bear.
The choice seems easy now.
But then there�s the voice
Of reason deep inside my head.
It tells me not to die
It says i I need to live.
i lay down in my bed,
And once again i cry.
I cry for you my dead valentine.
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i hate this.
i hate me.
i hate how i let you destroy me.
i hate how i destroy myself.
i hate how i lie.
i hate how i feel.
i hate pretending to be happy.
i hate trying to feel.
i hate living this life.
i hate thinking of dying.
i hate how i don't believe in myself.
i hate how i won't accomplish anything.
i hate how i want to die.
i hate how i cry.
i hate how you kill me inside.
i hate you.
i hate me.
i hate this.
i hate how i hate.
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i look in the mirror
My image blurs and twist
It�s a beautiful moment
The moment i forget
i forget who i am and
What i have become
Slowly my image disappears
And for a moment i am happy
i have the joy of seeing my
Disguised self looking back at me
But in a second its taken from me
And all i have left is the pain
Of knowing i hate who i�ve become�
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My world fell apart. My pieces broken on the floor. As i stoop down to pick up the pieces, you kick me down, shattering my pieces even more. You watch as i cry blood soaked tears, and you laugh. You watch as the blood soaked tears stain my hands, and track down my face. You broke me, yet again. And, again you laugh as my blood tears soak the ground that surrounds me. Still i turn to you, and go back. It's my own stupidity that is killing me inside. i go back to you, knowing you will kick me down and break me once again My blood soaked tears mean nothing to you, as i've seen. Yet, i'll keep going back to you till it kills me, and all you have left is a jar of my blood soaked tears, and the stains they will leave on your heart for life.
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Two Bacardi Bottles
She looks at what they give her and thinks, �maybe this will ease the pain.� The two Bacardi bottles broken in the rain. They hand her another, she downs it waiting for no pain. She remembers walking and two Bacardi bottles broken in the rain. She wakes up in the woods sore and confused. Her clothes are ripped, her body scratched and torn, but all she can remember is the two bacardi bottles broken in the rain. She finds her way out, sneaks into the house. Turns the light on and cries at what she sees. A body torn and bruised. Her heart feels torn apart. She lies on the floor and cries even more. She wonders why she must feel this pain. Pulls out the razor her skin is thirsting for its touch, adds cuts to those given to her by them. The blood pools around her and fleetingly she thinks,�What have I done?� but as the darkness takes her over, she remembers the two Bacardi bottles broken in the rain, and the hands that caused her that pain.
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She watches as the blood and the pain, all run down the drain. As she looks at her hands, chipped and stained. Her blood is what kept her alive, seeing her blood kept her sane. As she sits in the tub she remembers....she sat in his office, not daring to blink. She stared at her feet wondering about the blood. He told her "there are more like you..." she knew it was not true. All alone locked in her head it was her feelings she would dread. She wished for nothing, yet yearned for something. She kept herself numb, the razor won't make her feel anymore. She broke the skin as scarlet drops race to the top, nothing. She felt nothing. Finally, she knew a way to end her pain. She grabbed the blad and sat in the tub, and thought "finally it's almost done, all my pain, their lies, the hate...." She made the cuts, this time the scarlet drops ran down fast as rivers. And as the pain faded she watched the blood and the pain all run down the drain.
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Pain
Why must i feel this pain? What have i done wrong? Is it because i didn�t love you? Then left your heart broken? But you broke my heart too, do you know how much it hurts to have your heart played with? Is it because as soon as i left, you found someone new? Is it your hate towards me when i did the right thing cause my pain? Is it because i have no one, and just can�t seem to open up my heart, so that other can see inside? What have i done wrong to deserve such pain? Why do i feel this pain?
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Darkness
i can feel it closing in. The darkness within me. My heart is closing off. No more bright colors and happiness. Now everything is shades of gray, with sadness prevailing over happiness. My heart has turned to metal, locked up tight with the key being thrown away. The darkness is prevailing it is starting to close me off from those i care so much about. The darkness within me is like a cold dark hand that will squeeze my heart until nothing but hatred is left. The darkness is evil, it is closer now. Soon i will have a soul that is dying. The darkness is here. The person i was shall soon be lost. The one who can save me from my darkness is a friend i need now. A friend that will help me to overcome the darkness that is almost complete. i can hear my heart cry, �No, no, why?!� As my soul cries, �you must not let the darkness prevail.� Still i can feel it closing in. The darkness within me.
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Life�you will hurt�scream�cry�rebel�love�hurt others�succeed�fail�try�forget�remember�live�die�
begin�end�hurt yourself�do bad�do good�do things you�ll regret�things you�ll love�carpe di um�carpe noctum.
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You will hurt in life�friends will come and go no matter what you do�you can never relive a moment�it�s done and gone�your memories will be packed up and forgotten�even those you always said you would keep�always remember to keep the pictures they will never change�even though everyone in them will�
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Why is everything so hard now? Why can�t people stay the same? How can i keep smiling when all i feel like doing is crying�what is wrong with everything, it all seems twisted, life seems to be spiraling out of control. Is it me or everyone else who has changed? We smile and laugh as we hide our pain that never seems to cease, how can we keep our charades going, how long till someone finds out, and all we have left are lies? We cover our tracks as we hide behind masks, so no one will know who we really are. We hide to keep away the pain, but we really just bring more onto ourselves. Everything and everyone will change, and out pain will never cease.
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What do we do wrong? It�s not our fault you never taught us how to be strong, and know what�s right and wrong. You say we�re bad, the worst you�ve ever seen�have you tried to help us? It�s not my fault i feel helpless and desperate. You never talked to me. Do you even care at all? Shut up! About how we bring this on ourselves, we don�t bring this on ourselves, you help too�try to deny it, you know you do�take my hand show me the way. i still need you wether you realize it or not. Life is hard, the hardest thing to do is to live in this world. Life is a blessing and a curse, but you must make it through�.
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Life sucks, it�s no use trying to hide it. It�s full of pain and sorrow. Happiness is given to a lucky few, but pain is given to us all. Life is full of betrayals, fights, hurtful words, killing, people hurting themselves. Friends are supposed to make it better right? Then why do they bring pain? It�s not all sunshine and rainbows, it�s sharp edges and shades of gray, you can say you�re happy but how long can it last? Why must we change? Why can�t i take the good parts of people and keep them in a bottle so they last forever, as much as you want it or need it to, it can never last.