JOURNAL5

JOURNAL

As the old saying goes "Once you have a child your body will never be the same again". At 11 weeks I am
beginning to see the 'changes'. My tummy is starting to pooch and those thighs are getting bigger! The fatigue has kicked in and has been hanging around for awhile now. No sickness, just the nausea. Being a bartender really makes the moodiness kick too! Daddy is being very helpful, cooking dinner, cleaning the house and doing the laundry. Oh, if one man could go through pregnancy I believe it would change the aspects of all men on pregnancy! It's a rough stretch. Not only the feeling of changes mentally and physically but the butterflies of anticipation can all but kill you.

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN!

May 8th 2001

Daddy is really starting to get on me about the cigarettes, and unfortunately for me he has every right. I am very disappointed considering I haven't even tried to cut down. Still puffin' a pack a day as always. It's so hard because I don't want to quit. I try to think about the baby just floating around in a womb of smoke, gagging and holding his breath but it doesn't work. It would be easier if I'd just quit buying them and then when I wanted one I'd either have to go on a mad hunt to bum one or just suffer and eventually fuggetaboutit! It's the one vice I have left and I'm not ready to give it up. Im being so selfish. I don't want my child to have asthma or anything like that. I always thought I could give it up for pregnancy, it's not so easy! Today is Friday. Tomorrow is a new day. I hereby vow to not stuff that first cig in my mouth as soon as I wake up. And to try my absolute hardest to get through the cravings. Even if I could just cut it down to 3 or 4 smokes a day, it would make such a difference! A pack a day takes away 1/8th of the babies oxygen. So incidentally I am sufficating my child. (Perhaps if I put it into the ugliest scenario it will be easier to aquit. If anyone has a helpful suggestion, please feel free to contact me! Because, Lord knows I need it!

May 18th 2001

The weather is becoming beautiful! I love the sunshine, just seeing it in the morning makes for a good day! Unfortunately it's like god likes to play tricks with us and only gives us he nice days during the week when we all have to go to work! And then the clouds roll in on Saturday. I plan on catching a few rays today before I go off to work. Trying to relax.....I'm pissed off that I cleaned house and did the grocery shopping yesterday and that man couldn't even sweep and mop. ( I'd do it myself, but I'm not supposed to be breathing those chemicals.) I let myself get so worked up over the little things. Can't help it. It's the way I am. I'm still puffin' away on the smokes. Got 1 left not including the one I'm smoking now, until 3:30 when I go to work. I'm sure I'll make it! lol I need a new dryer, I cant take that damn noise it makes too much longer. And I can't figure out what the hell is wrong with it. I tried oiling the belt and that didn't help, so it looks like I'm just gonna have to buy a new one. My belly is starting to pooch a bit, but you still can't tell that I'm pregnant. Still dont' know if I wanna buy a house now or wait a year or so. Course that's another 10 grand I'll be spending on the same freakin houses. Decisions...Decision. If I dont buy than I can take some time off after the birth, If I do buy, then it's right back to work to make those mortgage payments. Tough decision. I have worked since the day I turned 14. It would be so nice to take 6 months off. We'll see I guess. If I do find the house that I just can't do without I guess I'll be going right back to work. Time for me to uncoop myself and go out and get some SUN!!!

May 21, 2001

TGIF! For only being a 4-day work week, man this sucker drug! We went campng with the family last weekend. It was fun.....Mom & Dad bought a couple quads, so now everybody has them except me. I let them spend the cash and use them for free! Ha-Ha. Besides i'm poor and expecting so I can't really spend 6 grand on a quad right now anyway. Still looking for a house. I've decided that if I come across the right one, we'll buy it, and if not, we'll just stay put for now. We are about 4.5 months along now....a few more weeks and we go to the ultrasound. Keeping our fingers crossed that it's our boy. As long as the baby has everything and is healthy we'll be happy. I still haven't quit smoking.....soon. I've decided that I'm just going to have to quit cold turkey because if I have them in the house...I'm gonna smoke em'! The weather has been weird...Yesterday it was 92* and today its only supposed to be about 60*. That's what'll make you get a cold. Im not worried though because I have a nice tan in the works. I may be big and pregonant but atleast I'll have a nice tan! ha-ha.

June 1, 2001

Busy, busy, busy! I've found my house. I feel like I got a fair deal! (I'll let ya know). Should be closing in a couple of days. Just waiting on the reinspection of the crawl space and then we are ready to roll. Jamie said that he'd pack everything up, but I decided to pack the nick-nacks because you know how us women can be when it comes to OUR junk. LoL. Im excited but at the same time I can't wait for it to be over and us to be moved and settled. All this business is simply wearing me out!