As if I didn't know what I was doing
Do you suppose I act the way I do
Simply by accident?  So blithely unaware
Of my actions and thoughts and most of all
The simple motivations behind them all?
Some simple pleasure or bliss
To alleviate the pain, salve the wound
And for one moment forget what I feel.
I am not so silly as to believe what I say
Nor so blind to think that what I am doing
Will make things any better all told.
Pursuing the pale shadow of my loss
I know enough to know the difference;
That I pursue but a moment's peace.
But for that moment I continue running
For it is all I can have for now,
And now is all I dare to comprehend.