This was my last article for The Point News. I think it was published around May 5th 1995. I had come to the end of my college career and for some reason I became a great big softy. After you read this let me know what your feelings were when you left college. My feelings on that last day at St. Mary's could best be described as nausea. Email your thoughts to [email protected]

This is my last article for the Point News. I know I have been threatening that for weeks now, but this time I mean it.  It has been a fun ride. The people I have known and worked with have been some of the most creative, honest,  and energetic people it has been my pleasure to have known. I have worked with the SGA, The Point News, orientation staff, and the theatre, and all of you have meant more than I think anyone could ever put into words.  Like so many who have come before me, I must now leave this safe and secure womb of SMC and move on.

I would simply request that if you are ever in the position to hire people, always remember how much fun I was to have around. Always keep the pressure on the administrators, they enjoy it --- I swear.  And if no one is saying what needs to be said, then get out there and scream it. No one is going to do it for you.

I have 10 things to say about my experiences here and the people I have known and the people who I have not known:

1.    If it seemed as though I never said your name when you said hello to me on the path, it was because I have the world's worst memory for names.  I would therefore request that if you have never heard me use your name in a sentence, the next time you see me please try and say your name to me three times.  This will allow me to know your name for the next time we meet.
2.    If I never came to your parties when you invited me, it wasn't because I didn't like you; simply stated I have a great aversion to large groups of people having fun.  This grows out of my somewhat unfounded fear of circuses and amusement parks.
3.    It was I who caused the simultaneous resignations of Dean Cole and President Lewis.  I had no idea at the time that they would take me seriously when I asked, "Wouldn't it be a good idea if you took some time off?" I wish them both the best of luck and would now like to announce that I have placed myself for consideration for both positions.
4.    I was the one who said the housing selection process was just too confusing back in 1993 and would now like to apologize to everyone who got screwed over by the new and improved housing system. It goes to show that a simple misunderstanding of the term "squatter" can cause no end of trouble.
5.    I have decided to donate my brain to the College upon my death, with the stipulation that it be displayed every year at World Carnival as a warning about the dangers of majoring in political science.
6.    Most of the articles I write are dictated to me in dreams by the ghost of Kurt Cobain. He isn't a very good speller either. (Editor's Note: Scott is not kidding).
7.    Witches should have more to do with their time then correct the historical inaccuracies of a college commentary written solely to make people laugh.
8.   I have always followed the College drinking policy.  The only problem is the copy I received was from 1979, when you could drink anytime and anywhere.  If the school spent more time teaching responsible drinking and less time spying on people maybe we wouldn't have problems with the current alcohol policy.
9.    I lived on P.G. Second Right for two years. I will miss all of those guys. They were the best.
10.    You should leave a place better than when you arrived. If I have only made this place a little better than it was worth it.
Remember me fondly.