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Sleeping Newspaper Boy.
October 12, 2000
GOODBYE
WASHINGTON POST CO.
This is the letter I wrote
to the Post Company on my second to last day on the job:
Hello Friends,
As I cast my mind back to when I started
with the Washington Post Company, I begin to realize how much the world
has changed. There was a Democrat in the Whitehouse, gas prices were high
and the earth had not yet been invaded by those strange aliens with the
suckers on their hands that keep climbing in through my bedroom window
at night and dressing me in ladies evening wear. Ah, good times, good times.
I just would like to thank all of
you for the patience and willingness to teach a young boy (well a very
big boy), what it means to work for a company which owns a major metropolitan
news paper, a weekly new magazine, a cable company, an educational prep
company and several television stations. Oh, there were bumps along the
way. Like that time I accidentally sent all of those secret company faxes
to the Washington Times. Or the time I switched the regular coffee
and the decaf for a week, just to see what would happen. And who can forget
that time that I allowed a family of traveling clowns to live in the Vault
for a month. I'm still wiping grease paint off of the annual reports.
As I laid awake in my bed last night
thinking of what to say to you all, (And strangely enough this may be the
only true sentence in this whole email.) I thought I might mention some
special moment that I have shared with each of you. And then I realized
it would be much easier to make those moments up than to actually remember
them. And then I realized that there were like fifty of you and if I forgot
just one of you, I could get in trouble, so I have developed a generic
memory that all of us can share instead.
I will always remember, (Your name
here), how you would come in after lunch and ask me how I was doing. If
I could only tell you (Your name here) how important you made me feel.
There was that time you asked me to keep an eye out for that fax you were
expecting from (Person or Company you were expecting a fax from here).
Or that package of (Illicit mail order item here) that I brought back to
your Office/Cubicle. And then there was that time you asked me whether
it was still sunny/cold/hot/raining blood outside. And I said, "Well that's
what you get when you trust that Bob Ryan." They were all special times.
Now that the funny stuff is over I
would just like to say thanks for letting me work here. I don't know if
you all realize what a rare place that the Receptionist fills at this particular
company. Many of you may not see one another in this office for weeks at
a time, but we at the front desk get the pleasure of seeing each of you
three maybe four times a day. I have had wonderful interactions with everyone
of you. I have learned about your kids, where you went to school and lots
of secrets about the company that I promise I take to the grave. And all
of you, even when you may not have been having the best day, were always
friendly and civil to me. I wish to say thank you all.
I will try and keep you all informed as
my real career continues. There will be a day when you go to the movies
or the theatre and you look up on stage or screen and say I think I know
that guy. And it may not even be me, but you will think back to that big
scary guy, whose name you can't quite remember, who couldn't get Security
to fix the front door for almost two weeks.
Not goodbye just see you later,
Scott "Soon to be gone from the Front
Desk" McCormick
