5/4/00 ~ Honest Resume
Sent by College Jokes

A Pathetically Honest Resume

OBJECTIVE: To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours,                                       occasionally looking attentive when approached by a supervisor.

EDUCATION:  School: Very Expensive
                        Major: Not Important
                        GPA: Don't Ask

EMPLOYMENT:  NETWORK MANAGEMENT   (9/96-Present)
                           Produced daily itinerary of TV programs to watch.  Duties                                   include changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying                               tuned after these    messages.
                     
                           DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99)
                           Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash,                                 managed to consolidate a big pile of unpaid bills into one                                       monthly bill that goes striaght to my father.

COMPUTER SKILLS:
   *Solitare
    *Minesweeper
    *On/Off Repair Method

HONORS AND AWARDS:
   *First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament
    *Said Toast at Brother's Wedding
    *High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine

For further references, contact my mother.  For positive responces, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.

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