12-26-04

I know the whole battle of sexes thing has been done, but here's my take. Sexuality is mother nature's way of not just reproducing, but actually evolving life. The male and the female each has its role in the scheme. Mother nature has invested women with the more complicated and important sexual role as bearer and nurturer of the child. Woman had to invest her sexuality in a man with the compentence and rescources to support human children, which have a long upbringing. The man, on the other hand didn't have to think much about sex. His only task in the affair was to spread as much seed as possible and hope something grows. I think the current state of human sexuality is in a bit of flux as we adapt to modern life. The bottom line is- female sexuality is complicated, male sexuality is simple. So naturally, this next bit is about male sexuality.

There's an old joke that god gave men two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time. A friend of mine swears there's a little grey matter in the tip of his dick. I agree with the sentiment, but not the location. I think the dick is just the spokesman for the balls. The testicles are really in charge, and the penis is thier figurehead, sort-of like a crypto-fascist cartel: the puppet protecting the power behind the throne.

The testicles lurk in the scrotum and cook up sperm stew. In fact, the scrotum is just like a little factory. It's even temperature sensitive: shrivels upward in the cold, sags downward in the heat. The purpose of this factory, in an evolutionary sense, is procreation. Mother nature is clever, so in order to ensure lots of seed being sown, she programmed the male brain to interpret semen as an irritant. The more semen that builds up, the more he becomes agitated and aggressive, seeking to release the irritant in the nearest dark wet hole, a task which the testicles then delegate to the ever incompetant penis. The penis then runs around sniffing butts for a while until it finds a willing receptacle. And if anything goes wrong (as it so often does), the penis will surely get the blame.