You mean so much more to me than I ever thought anyone could. Did you know that you are the only one who has ever punctured through the skin of my heart? the concrete shell that surrounds me?
Yes, it is true, you are special to me. I do believe that you know it and might even get satisfaction from it. Maybe that is enough for you, but it isn't for me. I am unsure if that will ever change for you though. Our friends think we are insane, and I'd be willing to lay a few bucks down on that one myself. The thing of it is that I know what I want, I found it in you. You have no idea what you want, or you do, and it scares you when you look it in the eyes.
I wonder if you will be there for me in my hour of need (which rapidly approaches) or I wonder if I will even need you in that hour? Which is worse?
Will I reach a stable coldness soon that I can obtain security in? Will I make myself love someon on default? A technicality? Nope. I don't work that way. I have a hard time with the "L" word and I never meant it until it oozed out of me into your ears. I really did mean it. Maybe that's what so special? HMMMM... Unknown.
Anyhow, I am bored and tired and I have worked too damn hard to let this fall me.
I will keep on moving and I wouldn't bet on ever hearing me say those words to you again. In your hour of need you know that I would come, only if invited. I cannot play this game with you anymore, I am not in the mood for avoidance.
