National Championships - 18
Conference Championships - 59
Overall Record - 1629-271
Winning Pct - .857
Playoff Record - 119-50
Bowl Record - 36-11
Current Teams - Baylor (Rockne), UCLA (Camp), LSU (Bryant), Oklahoma (Wilkinson), Florida International (Leahy), Stonehill (Stagg), Texas (Warner), Penn State (Heisman)
Other ID: 34jayhawk
National Championships - 15
Conference Championships - 32
Overall Record - 980-118
Winning Pct - .893
Playoff Record - 127-33
Bowl Record - 10-5
Current Teams - Alabama (Camp), North Carolina (Bryant), Princeton (Stagg), Florida State (Warner), Nebraska (Heisman)
Editor's Note: Jeff has won the D1-A National Title in four of the last five worlds to finish their season.
Dubs: First off, Jeff let me just say thanks for taking the time to give us some insights into yourself and your play in this game.
Jeff: No problem I love giving insights.
Dubs: I guess the first question would be about your name and your screen names. I have seen you both refer to kahleb as your last name and your son's name. Is it your son's name that has almost morphed into a last name, or do I have that completely wrong? In addition, I think I can gather what 34jayhawk would be a reference to, but can you elaborate for those that might not be as big of college basketball fans?
Jeff: I think the confusion about Kahleb being my last name came from the paranoid thread where everyone was posting their real first and last names. I saved that thread and in a couple months I am going to start a thread asking what peoples social security numbers are. Then I'll be in business. My son's name is as close as anyone is getting to my last name.
Paul Pierce's #, and we are Jayhawks.
Dubs: How do you see your two accounts. Do you run them both the same, or do they each take on their own personality? In addition if you could share your credit card number and address, I think everyone would appreciate it.
Jeff: I use a illuminated monitor which makes it very easy. They share the same personality, I'm not snake or typing person or whomever he is.
I don't have a credit card of my own, but I do have a few other peoples, and will have quite a few more in a couple of months. Get back to me, I'll give you a good deal. My mom doesn't want me giving out our address.
Dubs: What is the going rate on stolen identities these days, or does it vary depending on tax? Also, how old are you?
Jeff: There is a large variance, depending on who you are, and who you are wanting to become. I'm largely out of the immigrant market now, so don't ask! I don't pay taxes.
I'm 25-34.
Dubs: Are you married? How many kids do you have, and where did you come up with that unique spelling of Kahleb?
Jeff: Well the family life really started cutting into GD. So the divorce and her definite full custody, of the one child, should be final within weeks. It will allow me to focus better.
His name is a acronym.
Dubs: Kid Always Has Liked Eating Brownies? I guess that's not important. Do you have any ties to any specific GD teams? Obviously, you are a Kansas fan. Did you go to school there?
Jeff: Kay Ann Herbert Leon, yes the guys got jobbed on names, Every Body
Just Kansas, went to school there.
Dubs: When you are giving out advice in the forums, how do you choose when to be flippant and when to be helpful? Does it have more to do with your mood or your opinion of the person asking for advice?
Jeff: I'm only aggressive with people that were that way with me first. People often don't know the whole story, the second guy gets flagged.
I don't mind answering questions that have definitive answers. But the opinion questions I don't care for.
Dubs: Can you give an example of a question with a definitive answer you would answer and a opinion one that you wouldn't?
Jeff: A question with a definitive answer would be one you could send a ticket in to support and get a answer. How many schollies can I revoke, how much per schollie, do I have to offer a schollie, etc.
Questions I don't like to answer. Questions that do not have definitive answers, peoples opinions, many different ways to accomplish the same thing. Look at my class and tell me what you think (hate that one), would you make this conversion, how do you play run defense, why is my QB throwing so many ints.
These are things that have different answers for different people and none can be proven right or wrong, no definitive answer. What works for me, may not work for someone else. If I do a certain thing, with all other other things I do, it works. But if you do a certain thing, with all the other things you do, it may not work. I just think once a coach gets all the facts of the game, he needs to play around with the other things and find out what works best for him.
Dubs: When did you first discover Gridiron Dynasty or WIS in general?
Jeff: In Sept of 04 I was playing strat-o-matic baseball on the Sporting News site and was wanting a football game. Googled it.
Dubs: How quickly did the addiction spread for you? Did you play one team for a while, or did you quickly expand? How long before you started the second account?
Jeff: To be honest I think I was addicted before I ever played. I use to spend hours as a child incorporating various games, trading cards, dice, etc creating my own football/basketball games. It was a passion I largely hid from everyone else. I nearly pissed myself when I first found this site.
I picked up two teams right off the bat. Dropped one, and then played about 5 seasons before I started the other ID and starting picking up additional teams with my original ID.
Dubs: Can you describe what these games were like? I did numerous things like that myself, but my main goal, in retrospect, was to generate standings and statistics. What is the coolest game that you created in your opinion?
Jeff: Oh boy. A cluster of a bunch of different stuff. I was a bit obsessive. Generating the statistics was the funniest part/ultimate goal. I still have a bunch of notebooks/brackets filled with worthless statistics. I'm not sure if any of them were "cool".
Dubs: Yeah, I meant cool to you not necessarily the general public. I have a ton of printouts for the old Earl Weaver baseball computer game where I played for each team using the opposite side of the keyboard and made my own schedule by hand because it kept standings but didn't really generate a schedule. Did you play any computer games along with this stat obsession?
Jeff: As an adult I have dabbled with a couple, but none really stuck.
Dubs: We hear from time to time about people getting bored with this game. What level of interest do you have in it compared to when you started playing?
Jeff: I've had my moments, but right now I'm just as interested, if not more.
Dubs: What is peaking your interest with the game now?
Jeff: Getting new schools in new locations at the DI-A level, and playing against new coaches.
Dubs: Speaking of other coaches, I certainly have come to the understanding that you are big on figuring out the game through experimentation, but did you have any coaches help you early in the process?
Jeff: None.
I had won my first NC and reached HOF status and still had less than 50 posts, I never really site mailed anyone up to that point either. I read the forums, listened, observed, and learned. It makes it hard for me to be too sympathetic to the coaches who are frequently searching for advice in the forums.
I have given out lots of help through site mails, but I have never received, nor asked for any.
Dubs: The one big piece of advice I needed to kick off learning how to play was evancavan telling me not to leave the effectiveness percentages as low as 60. Did you figure things out just by playing with the numbers?
Jeff: What do you mean your not suppose to leave them at 60?
Dubs: I have just heard that much like the Hippies on the Parent's council at my son's school, anything stuck in the '60s is bad, is this not true?
Jeff: evancavan is a K-Stater, so I would be very cautious of any advice he has to offer.
The advanced depth charts we added as I was playing. So I started off messing with them at the same time as everyone else. There is a time and place for a 60.
Dubs: Which brings up the point, how does a Kansas fan come to a love of football? Do you also cheer for the Chiefs? Do you manage Kansas or have any desire to manage Kansas in any GD world?
Jeff: I'm a homer, I cheer for all the home teams.
My first DI-A team was Kansas. I won the conference fulfilling my Alum commitment. I think once I accomplish more goals and need to fight off burn out, I may take up Kansas again and try to bring them a NC.
Dubs: If you were trying to design the worst position to take over a program -- from rivals schools to recruiting location to available scholarships -- and thus in a sense the biggest challenge to winning a title, what would this challenge be?
Jeff: Hire swamphawk as the coach.
Dubs: Since you brought that up. I was scrolling through scott's name origination thread and in January of 2006, swamphawk22 gave the origination of his name and said that he has a swamphawk2 but forgot the password. This was your response in that thread: (italic)That is funny swamphawk22, there are some jeffkahleb1's and jeffkahleb2's out there for the same reason.(end italic) It just struck me when I read it because it was downright cordial and friendly. At what point did you decide that it was important to make fun of swamp at every opportunity, because clearly that was not always the case?
Jeff: Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions Barbara.
There was a period of about 3/4 weeks were I felt swamps influence on the newbie/novice coach was affecting the game, ridiculous updates. This was the period I followed him around and tried to derail any of his threads/posts with out right insults, your momma's a whore. There were other elite coaches that new what I was trying to do. But it was uncharacteristic of me and quite exhausting. I finally just gave up. It was shortly after I stopped that swamp undermined JConte's authority, and it was at that point I was no longer worried about swampy's affect on the game.
Prior to swamp taking on the politician shtick, he was a fine poster, and I treated him as such. At the point he decided to become the crusader, I tried to debate with him and he continued to spin/lie and avoid any reasonable debate. He was attacking veteran coaches and I found it to be very disrespectful. I site mailed him and told him how I felt about his treatment of veteran coaches and that he was impossible to communicate with, and that I would no longer be addressing any of his posts.
About 4 months went by and I didn't even read one of his posts. He fell into the snake category and I just ignored him. But once the updates came, I went back to see what he was crusading about and decided he needed to be stopped. Hence the 3/4 week period.
I now ignore him for the most part, but he is so outrageous, I take my shots periodically. I definitely do not make fun of him at every opportunity. That would be a full time job (another shot) as I found out when I was trying to derail him.
Dubs: Don't you think saying, "Your momma's a whore," only undermines your effect? As you said, veteran coaches already know why they wouldn't listen to many of the arguments being made by swamp, so the goal of stalking him could only be to encourage new players not to listen to him. Yet, if I walked into a room and two people were arguing and one of them was yelling that they other one's mom was a whore, I certainly wouldn't assume that guy had the moral high ground.
Jeff: I was not looking for the "moral high ground", I was looking to derail his threads/posts and I think I was fairly successful. I'm also not as smart as you, I can't get on jeopardy.
Dubs: Well, when they start making identifying painters and paintings a prerequisite to redzone scoring, that may help me I guess. What is your proudest moment in GD?
Jeff: I don't know if I'm proud of anything, but the most geeked I've gotten was probably when I applied at UAB thinking I was applying at Alabama and got hired. I was disappointed and determined to be a success. It was a sim school until I got there and I won my first two games against two established elites on the road. I was pretty amped up.
Another time I beat twopairs Uconn team in our bowl game. Uconn was on a 50+ game win streak and we slugged it out going 5 OT's before Oklahoma pulled it out. Between the two teams I think we threw the ball like 12 times. The field needed to be re-sodded after the game. That sent Oklahoma off to their own 50 game win streak and back to back titles.
Dubs: At that point, did you petition to have the Wilkinson world renamed the Kahleb World?
Jeff: No, but not a bad idea.
Dubs: Do you have a stronger affinity for anyone one of your teams, or to you feel pretty much the same about all of them?
Jeff: The longer I stay the more attached I become. Oklahoma and UCLA.
Dubs: Do you feel the need to win a fifth title at Princeton to one up the four in a row in place when you got there? How impressive as a whole is it for one team to win eight straight national titles with two different coaches?
Jeff: No not at all. I was going to move up this season but cravedogg and birdie are liars. I'll keep looking.
Very impressive. That's why I'm trying to get out of there before I screw it up and have to carry that scarlet letter around with me.
Dubs: Yeah, I would assume a Scarlet P would be painful. What things do you personally look for when moving to a new team?
Jeff: Well these days I'm just looking for schools I don't already coach. But mostly location and the opportunity to win.
Dubs: How many of the 14 elites have you coached? Have you ever thought of trying to win a National Title out of each of the six BCS conferences?
Jeff: 7 but I plan on getting all my teams at elite schools eventually. I never set out to win a title at all the BCS conferences, but yes I have won a title in each of them. Eventually, to fight off burn out, I plan to win one in a non-BCS conference.
Dubs: You have played a lot of the top coaches in the game. Who do you consider to be the top coaches in the game, and which coaches, if any, give you particular trouble?
Jeff: None give me any particular trouble, but plague, paranoid, and dwit always seem to play tough, close games. Chgunnz has spanked me a few times and capt does more with less than anyone, but he also does less with more than anyone as well. It's a paradox. There are a lot of great coaches out there, too many to list.
I do remain undefeated against cravedogg, mike dartt, kobo, and JConte.
Dubs: Yet, you have two losses to me, now that�s a paradox. Obviously, you are opposed to many of the changes Swamp is working toward, what changes, if any, would you like to see in GD?
Jeff: Depth spots for all players, who is playing-stronger penalties for out of position players, a FB specific depth spot, a lot more stats, the ability to search/break down coaching records by levels, bowl level break down, historical school player stats, fumbles and fumbles lost, stats by position, a universe stats leaders board, see all emails pertaining to a player under the player envelope, a better recruit search engine, more settings/control over 4th down/two minute/punt/FG/two point, depth control of SP, a more fluid recruit distribution based on sim vs human coached teams, a real life reenactment of every play, a general clean up and smoother navigation of the site, a note pad, the ability to see your players growth, coach vs coach records, color coding for red shirt and injured players in the advanced depth chart (no more flipping back and forth), a NC winner board/list for each world/level, email from your trainer telling you when a player has reached 100% health again, when a player leaves for the NFL have his position included in the email, some kind of recruit preference for schools prior to recruiting starting/or any idea that would/ (minimize the effect of list sharing), a NC as a requirement to become a HOF, A FASTER SITE and more EMOTICONS.
Probably more.
Dubs: What I have always wondered is what position the fullback plays in the I Formation. Do you know, and if not can you think of a good way to find out?
Jeff: That issue has been troubling me for quite some time. I strongly feel the biggest mistake JConte has made is not coming out and making a declarative statement about where the blocking back is in each formation.
At this point I am turning over rocks looking for the answer. I am absolutely befuddled.
Dubs: Outside of GD and the Stand Up Comedy Circuit, what are your main interests outside of Gridiron Dynasty?
Jeff: Bullying, noodling, that white cheese dip they serve at Mexican restaurants, washing my hands and checking to see if doors are locked, Lego sculpting, documentaries, genealogy, dumpster diving, and throwing paint on people wearing fur.
Dubs: What are your favorite movies?
Jeff: Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, Belly, Fight Club, Your Friends and Neighbors, Harlan County USA, Gandhi, Malcolm X, Wild at Heart, Watership Down, Twin Peaks, Behind the Green Door, Ken Park, In the Company of Men, Loose Change, Gummo, Matewon, L.I.A.R, and a bunch of others.
Dubs: Speaking of Fight Club and Watership Down, do you find it easier to start an illegal underground bare fisted boxing club or to train a group of rabbits to do Shakespearean acting?
Jeff: Having extensive experience with both, I would have to say starting an underground bare fisted boxing club. All the damn rabbits did was chew up my x-box and lamp cords and crap.
Dubs: What is your opinion of the movie Titanic?
Jeff: The first 3/4 of the movie was blah blah blah, but I have to admit once the boat started sinking I got kinda emotional. It brought the tragedy home pretty well.
Dubs: The analysis I heard from one comedian is that it made so much money because it started out as a love story for the women and then turned into a disaster film for the men. What kind of music do you listen to?
Jeff: I want to go on record, I only went to see Titanic 3 times.
Everything under the sun. Blues, white rappers, black rappers, no Asian or Hispanic ones though, metal, hard rock, folk, industrial, alternative, rock a billy, hell billy, Hill music, 60's, 70's, gospel, world, transvestite, pop, electronic, trance, dance, and romance.
Dubs: If you were going to start a band with established musicians from other groups, who would you choose to put in the band at each instrument and vocals and why?
Jeff: Chris Burke on Bass (back up vocals), Aron Ralston on guitar, Stephan Hawking on drums, Thunderwolf on stand up bass, Peg Leg Sam on the harp, and Marlee Matlin on vocals. I think they all bring unique performance styles to the group.
Dubs: What are your favorite sports memories, both participatory and as an aficionado?
Jeff: Danny and the miracles, 85 Royals.
I brought the wood when I played football so I still have fond memories of hitting guys. Also after a tough man contest I beat up a couple of club boxers in the parking lot and a whole bunch of people, on the arena steps/walkway, were cheering me on. That was kinda cool.
Dubs: Could you beat up Tommy Morrison?
Jeff: As drunk as he got it wouldn't have been too hard. I never ran across him but a buddy of mine almost threw him off a balcony.
Dubs: How often do you try new things when you are game planning? I know you wouldn't want to share them necessarily, but to you have standard methods with many of your teams that you always rely on?
Jeff: I have a standard method. But there are always times when you need to do different things.
Dubs: Do you feel you have a strong grasp on the coaches you have played a bunch and what they do, or do you come into each game, no matter who the coach, with a fresh look at the game?
Jeff: I think this aspect of GD mirrors real life coaching.
Dubs: Do you feel you have made friends (as much as anyone can make friends on a cybersite) with any of the coaches you have competed against through the years?
Jeff: Sure.
Dubs: That's the quietest I have ever seen you jeff. What is your favorite thing about this game?
Jeff: I'm trying to keep this from turning into an Oprah episode.
Beating my friends. I'm extremely competitive, so I love the competition and the BSing on the forums.
Dubs: Who are your favorite comedians?
Jeff: Dice, Rock, Kennison, and some black dude I don't know his name.
Dubs: Do you play any WIS games other than GD?
Jeff; Not currently. But I actually started off playing HD more than GD. I also have played sim football, sim basketball, and HBD.
Dubs: Do you feel HBD is more complex that GD?
Jeff: Most certainly. I'm praying WIS eventually comes out with a football version.
Dubs: What things make it more complex? What would you like to see in a football version?
Jeff: All the things that fall under the GM role. All the things that fall under the GM role. I wouldn't mind seeing a basketball version as well. It will probably come out before a football version.
Dubs: If you were to rank the top five football coaches ever, who would they be?
Jeff: This is tough.
1. Bobby Collins
2. Rick Venturi
3. Gary Barnett
4. Jackie Sherrill
5. Larry Coker
Dubs: Is castrating a bull in front of your players a big factor in where a coach ranks on your list?
Jeff: Huge. Let me fix it.
1. Jackie Sherrill
2. Bobby Collins
3. Rick Venturi
4. Gary Barnett
5. Larry Coker, just beating out the crazy Woody Hayes.
Dubs: OK I like to close my interviews in something I call Trios, where I give you a choice between three things and you tell me which one you prefer.
TRIOS
1. Most hated rival -- Missouri, Kansas State or Texas
Hands down Missouri-They own slaves!
2. Easiest place to recruit from -- California, Texas, somewhere else
Somewhere else
3. Biggest skank -- Pamela Sue Anderson, Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan
Pammy Sue
4. Beer, wine or hard liquor
liquor
5. Pinky and the Brain, Tiny Toons or the Animaniacs
hentai
6. Seinfeld, Cheers or Friends
Seinfeld
7. And we will close with SNL in the 70s, SNL in the 80s or SNL in the 90s
80's
Dubs: Thanks again for your time Jeff, it�s been a pleasure gleaning some information about you.
