Please don't be offended by anything (I don't know why you would be it's just my disclaimer) :)
Up late tonight doing jack shit! Was a good weekend, just Saturday night was depressing. Went out with 2 of my friends and their boyfriends, me being the lone single guy with them. I hate being single now, everyone seems so happy together I just can't seem to find the right person, I hate it!! :( At least my troubles don't have to do with school anymore I suppose. Things have changed here, I got a single room last month which is awesome. No more hippie moron roommate!! I also joined a fraternity up here (I know many of you who know me don't believe it :) ) cause I never thought I would want to either but it's great and alot of fun. Alpha Gamma Rho. Well, I guess that's basically it. If anyone has any tips on getting me out of this single slump, I'm all for it. Dammit all..it sucks!!
Well, back to work it goes. Christmas was great but a month off is way too long. School is normal, or as normal as it can be. I've finally come to the realization that I only have 3 semesters left here...THAT'S IT! Just get through basically 2 more years and I'm outta here. Plus over break I've finally permanently decided on my career and how I am going to get to it. Get my graduate degree in education after graduating from here then teach high school earth science. Plus I can keep my environmental major. Alot of work but I've finally seen the big picture and it's time to clamp down and finish up.
Time to add a little more I guess. Today is Wednesday, I am out of here on Friday. One exam tomorrow, one on Friday morning then no more school for a month. After this semester I will be a junior and have only 2 years left to my undergrad degree. It seems like forever, but remembering how fast my 2 years at Riddle went it'll be over before I know it. Lately it's occured to me how much I really miss being down there. UVM is a good school for what I'm going for but nothing is familiar here. Daytona was so familiar, I felt like I'd been there forever. Friends were great, the weather was alot nicer than it is here, the people overall were more friendly, and I didn't have as much of a tuition bill. I really wish that it were not as techinical a school as it is. I've started to think that if I could find a school around that area that offers what I'm looking for I might go back. I really miss it. It's really gotten me to thinking, the major here is great but I have not much of a social life, yet down there I had everything I ever wanted. I really miss it more than I ever though I would while we were down there. Thank God Christmas break is coming up, I can take it semester to semester here, plus with the spring semester comes spring break and you can guess already where I'm going to go come hell or high water. Other than that I'm doing well in my classes, my lowest grade this semester is a C (which is more than I can say for last fall). Just mentally I'm not totally into being up here. Winter weather is nice for the 2 weeks I had for Christmas break from there, after that it sucks!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!
Once again, things have become hellish. Everything seems to be due all at the same time! I've finally come to the conclusion that school sucks no matter where or what it is. Dorms suck too, hippies suck too. I'm still in the midst of truly deciding what I want to do with my life, I think that education is what I want. If I want to do it here or not is still up in the air. Or even if I want to stay in environmental studies. DAMMIT all I am just soooo Damned indecisive!!! The one thing I do know is that Christmas break is coming up and that will be a time to decide what, where and when.. until then I just have to get through the rest of the semester. We'll see. I still just want to be home and not here, maybe Christmas will help with that.
Well, I've given it a month more. School has become alot more enjoyable lately. Even thinking of doing something different with my life ...again. Never thought I would ever want to teach, but it's amazing how things change. I'm still looking to get the hell out of this damned room because I believe it is one of the big reasons I was not liking it here. Thanks to our moronic housing department (only big complaint I have against this school) I got paired with a first year hippie, Jerry Garcia loving, pot head loser. Its funny how sometimes I really miss Florida, now its basically the apartment life I truly miss. And not having a close-nit group of friends like I had too. I guess it's welcome to Vermont, hippie country.
I've come to the conclusion that college really sucks. I like going to school it's just that I don't enjoy it. AARGH! Why can't I just be happy doing what I'm doing?! I came back to this area to be closer to home and now I want to commute to school from home. Going home weekends is great but coming back up to school really sucks. After being in Florida I am so very sick of living away from home, I guess I didn't realize that - being 2 hours away is nice but I just want to be home..... And I am even looking at different ways to get what I want in life without school. I just do not like it anymore, so sick of it........