Cursing, I said, without any effort to hide my irritation, �Yes? What is it?�

     The doors split apart to reveal my second-in-command, Winston.

     �Captain, I�� he began, then saw what was on the holo. Coming to a dead stop, he said, �I�m sorry to disturb you, sir.�

     I nodded for him to go on with a gracious smile, but made a mental note. If he couldn�t remember when Captain Courageous was on, he wasn�t the kind of first officer I wanted on my ship.

     �First things first,� he said. �Your request to have the DeVille rechristened has been denied.�

     �What!� I said, screaming. �What�s wrong with the Ilovelord�that�s a fine ship�s name!�

     Winston shrugged. �Second, we�ve been ordered to the Planet Meekton.�

     He handed me a report, but instead of reading it, I said, �Oh?�

     �They�ve scored a 9.5 on the gee-a-vee scale.�

     In my entire career, I�d never heard such a high Grumbles-Against-Earth rating.

     �What�s their grumble?� I said, glancing at the report.

     �Something about getting what�s theirs. Supposedly, the Board of Terrestrial Defense and Offense is keeping them from their so-called inheritance.�

     �We�re to take them out?�

     �Not according to orders,� Winston said. �We�re just supposed to spook them a little.�

     I put the report down and surveyed my first officer. �You�ve set a course already, haven�t you?�

     Winston nodded.

     I turned around and looked out the window at my side. There was a large, mostly purplish planet spinning in space.

     �That�s Meekton, isn�t it?�

     My second-in-command nodded.

     �Their Prime Minister or President or whoever�s in charge is waiting to talk to me, aren�t they?�

     Nod. �Prime Minister.�

     Quietly, I ordered the holo to turn off and got up from my chair.

     �Okay,� I said. �Fill me in.�

     Winston filled me in. The problem started when religion was brought to their planet a little over a year ago. Instead of trying to better themselves, the Meeks were trying to benefit materially from the work of our missionaries. They thought our ship was there to negotiate a settlement�hah! I�d show them a settlement.

     And what an ugly lot! They�ve got three eyes and no nose and a mouth too high on their egg-shaped head. Not to mention sickly-green skin. One of them glared at me from the four-meter high screen in the main room.

     �About time,� he said.

     �About time?� I said. �Are you so anxious to have your planet destroyed?�

     The frown dropped from his face, then reappeared after the moment of shock passed. �What did you say?�

     �Well, let�s get on with it,� I said, turning to my weapon�s officer. �Destroy their excuse for a planet.�

     My weapon�s officer nodded and started keying in the command to launch torpedoes. I hoped Winston had briefed him and he knew that this was just a put-on. If not, though, it�d be his neck and Winston�s, not mine. And this current predicament would have pretty much solved itself.

     �Wait! Stop!�

     I turned to face the screen.

     �Yes?� I said, impatiently.

     �You can�t do this,� he said. �We�re supposed to negotiate a deal.�

     �Okay,� I said. �Stop bothering the Board and your planet doesn�t vaporize to dust just yet. Deal?�

     They didn�t have spaceships or satellites or any other way to defend themselves. My weapon�s officer�s finger was poised over the launch button. He had a hungry look on his face.

     With a resigned sigh, the Prime Minister nodded.

     I motioned to my communications officer to take the Minister�s ugly mug off the screen.

     Later that day, the report came in from the Board. Evaluations at Meekton showed a drop in gee-oh-vee. It was hovering just above nine point oh, and dropping. Not bad for a day�s work�at the very least, it gave the Board time to decide their next move.

     Even though I had missed a good chunk of this week�s Captain Courageous, I was happy. The Meek might indeed inherit the Earth�but not on my watch, they won�t.