Who am I?
Home Who are you? Places I've been.
Some bits of wisdom. Mix Tape Exchange
Some people I've met. Web rings
A very brief collaboration of the little quirks that seem to make me an individual. What little things do you do that piss people off?
-i've been 6 feet tall since elementry school.
-my hair grows so thick that one of my nick names in junior high was helmet head.
-for the first 18 years of my life the only name that anyone knew me by was O.P.
because i look so much like that loveable young wipersnapper from the andy
griffith show.
-my toenails grow really quick
-i always buy allot of new clothes but i never wear them.
-computers boggle my mind.
-i take notes on everything. i am the post-it god.
-i sweat for no reason. even in my sleep.
-when i am asleep i don't roll over i flip. very annoying for anyone who has ever shared
a bed with me.
-my ass has never seen the sun. it's so white it could be classified as transparent.
-i can help anyone with their problems but i can't seem to figure out mine.
-i once huffed butane. wow
-i can't stand watching sports on T.V.
-air fresheners piss me off.
-when i was 9 i held a funeral for a litter of puppies that died. complete with eulogy
and tombstone.
-i collect to much stuff. not that star wars star trek bullshit either.
-i like to be to prepared. every contingency most be thought of.
-i am the "big brother you never had" fer' sure.
-i have a very loud annoying laugh
-the most sarcastic som'a'bitzatch you will ever meet.
-i memorized the entire vanilla ice album. he's so underrated.
-i made whoopy with a bosnian woman.
-i rub all my friends with "monkey brains" (if you don't know ax somebody)
-i taught a group of german girls to scream "CAN YA SMELL WHAT THE (my name) IS
COOKIN'!!!" when ever i walked by.
-i mumble little deragotory things at people and when the say "what" i say "what" right back
like i never said anything.
-in the message space of all my checks i write "for sensual massage."
-i've gone drive thru's
backwards in my car.
with my entire order in iambic pentameter complete with ryhming words.
and asked to have 6 waters and 12 large straws added to my order.
and asked for a sampler bag of each of the companies wonderful condiments.
and specify repeatedly that my order is to go.
-in my hich school year book i dictated all my teachers farewell's. my mother was so proud.
-my nose resembles a ski slope.
-i have brown eyes with red hair.
-people in postions of authority hate my guts because i tell them like it is. always. you can't
get in trouble for being truthful.
-i fell in love with a married woman who used me just to get out of her marriage.
-i want a house with a library.
-i used to be the tortured teenager complete with a journal full of "hate poems" and bedroom
walls covered in angst drawings of self pity.
-i'll smell my armpits in public just embarrass my friends.
-my first car was a 1978 skyblue Ford LTD with a giant "bat symbol" painted on the
hood. everyone in northeast florida knew my car as the batmobile.
-i was known as the "batman" in my first army barracks because i ran through all
the rooms butt naked with nothing on but a pair of addias, a pistol belt, and a batman mask.
i would paddle all the new soldiars with a stolen pizza hut pizza paddle with the words "i love
new jacks stenciled on it." i got caught.
-i gave a eulogy for a close friend.
-i wrecked the first car i bought with my own money a week after i bought it.
-i tell every one i meet that my name is either "lamont" or "leroy" for reasons i am not sure why.
-i think ebonics should be required learnin'. bitch ass niggaz. can ya feel may. word.
-i play the quitar and i don't learn songs i write them.
-i spend a good $300 a month on music be it CD's or vinyl.
-i tell really long jokes and forget the punchline. on purpose.
-people who scuff thier feet when they walk suck.
"Don't fight the funk."
