clarity.
it comes with a fly and then it is gone.
how can the world make so much sense today only to confuse me so much yesterday or tomarrow.
i found my self sitting at a pond in the hills of the black forest. the bench upon which i rested was shared with a girl who seemed locked but some how i scanned the other shore and i saw a small white sign.
i could not read the lettering upon the sign but i knew what it said.
happiness.
so close but it might as well be a light year away. close enough to see but as distant as the sun.
and this is where the confusion sets in.
how do you keep something from becoming wierd.
a week ago we were kissing and now it seems as though nothing happened.
her thermostat jumps to quickly and i can't keep up
warm cold warm boiling cold warm again.
but it means nothing. it all starts where another left off, and i'll never recieve the fruites of her thought.....because her actions now dictate events that will transpire later.
she finds in me something she has never truelly known. she is excited by it but for all the wrong reasons.
.

may 26 2000

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