26/01/00
i went to a party with everyone i've ever known. they all were there from the the slightest aquaintence to the life long friends. i walked in nonchalantly and browsed around from group to group. i began to recognize these characters from my past and i laughed. surely this must be a dream.
i found kenny my first of friends from childhood. our bond grew out of lonliness...he's a drop out and he works at a carwash...and there was tommy, the first person to ever stand up for me. i thanked him. although he didn't remember the event...he fixes cars as he always did.
i found justin, one of the few people of this earth that i truelly really did hate. he spent 2 years in a hospital. by the sofa i met ronnie. i beat him up in the 7th grade for picking on me, and i unleashed the anguish of 14 long years of torment on his face. i cried later that night for hitting him so hard. he was shot in the head some 3 years ago. i saw casey by the t.v. he was high and playing video games. the same things he has always done. i didn't say hello. chris was out back making fun of some scared young child. and i thanked god he is now in jail...because that is where he deserves to be. standing by the mantle i glimpsed lela. my heart ached immediatly. but i held fast. i saw her laugh with someone else, and i had to be content with that.
drinking a screwdriver and looking rather subdued i found billy. my truest of friends. we talked about our past for what seemed like hours. i miss those times in the batmobile and all the after school specials.
then beth showed up and made me feel like i was the only person in the room, but she left after a while and i missed her. then i sat down and looked to my left and there was erin...she had been standing there for sometime, next to me. i realized that as i dealt with all these people from my past she was there to laugh with me at the good times and to hold me during the hard. i looked at her and i felt at peace. i thanked her with all of my being because she played the biggest part in making this so.. as i sat there i saw a rather strange thing. i spied a familiar person mingling with people here and there...walking up and a making a group laugh or strolling by and avoiding eye contact with another. he seemed to recognize me as i stared and he came over. we spoke briefly and he made me laugh. we said good bye and he walked away. i told erin i really liked that guy and i asked what his name was. she looked at me
surprised and simply replied that it was me.