December 8, 1999
i spent the entire night creating this site. scratch that. i spent the entire night getting really pissed at this site. i learned so much. i feel like a dog gone computer hacker. i think tomarrow night i'm gonna hack into the department of defense and give myself a raise. sha right.
it's strange how liberating the idea of putting all of your ideas and feelings on a global sounding board really seems. i have always kept journals but i never showed anyone. my mother snuck into one that i had and it was so full of teenage hate that i felt sick a betrayed. it didn't help. now look at me. well i guess i'm in a better place now too.
i read allot in "the journals of an ordinary soul" last night. so very strange how close i feel to a girl i will never meet. very wierd.
we all watched "saving private ryan" again last night. every time i see that movie i cry, and i don't care who see's. it is so powerful and but by the grace of god that could be me. if i had been born just 50 years ago.
i'm assuming ljp770 hasn't sent my film yet. that girl. i wonder how i ever fell in love with her. she is so full of spite and spit. i fear she has destroyed all my film. 26 rolls of the most glorious once in a life time easter in paris. it can never be replaced. and she knows it. it's something that she had nothing to do with, and i wonder just how much pleasure she will have getting involved in it's destruction. if i could only take back one second. one decision in my life. there would be know hesitation. not even a little.