About the land of cathay

Now we ‘ave comen to a very important piece of me book, a few weeks ago Oglog died, ‘e was da ‘uver hobgoblin, who worked for me master and me master needed someone to bring a lettre to da capital an’ ‘e asked me to do it. Of course me was very ‘appy an’ when me boos said me would get Aro’s job, me went to da mountains to find a good ‘n’ fat wolfy to bring me everywhere as fast as da wind. So now me is back from a long trip through the land of Cathooi an’ me wants to tell all of ya about all da stuff me ‘as seen on me way to da big town Cathaians call Xizang.When me boss told me, me had to deliver a letter to someone in Xizang, me was very ‘appy an’ me jumped on me wolfy to go as fast as possible. When me passed through the gates of Shoon-Yoong, me saw da steppes back, for a long time, but these steppes were difeerent from da steppes me knew, of course there was a lot of sand an’ of course all land resembled, but there were no bones, no skulls an’ no burned down villages. Me travelled through da steppes for a week, an’ it was ‘ard not to get lost, because all the land resembled. Lucky there were stones wiv’ letters on them, which told me da way.

When me saw da great gates from Xizang for da very first time, me was tunned, these gates were ‘uge, but me boss told me to be fast, so me didn’t stay to watch for a too long time. When me was through da gates, me saw a totally different city than Shoon-Yoong, these streets were very big, and me saw a lot of Cathooians and chars (wiv’ Cathooiabs), but almost none of da funny races there are in Shoon-Yoong. Me searched for a way through da big streets (which is much easier than finding a way through the narrow streets of Shoon-Yoong) an’ me found da big house where me neede to be. There were lots o’ guards nea da big ‘ouse an’ they wanted me to prove me was, who me told me was, so me showed them da letter from me boss. They let me through an’ me entered da big ‘ouse, but when me went through da doors, it was amazing, there was lotsa gold in there, an lotsa carpets from da finest silk me ‘ad ever seen, after wandering through da street in da ‘ouse, me found da room where me ‘ad to be. Me entered da room an’ gave da letter to da guy, ‘e told me, me was earlier than ‘e expected an’ gave me a letter me had to give to me boss. Me was indeed ealier, then me boss asked me, so me walked a bit through da city, me saw lotsa big gardens for everybody an’ tall towers an’ ‘uge houses, but again me saw nearly no other oomans then yellow-skinnies, it was also when me was walking through da big streets people told me, me was gone to da palace from da emperor ‘imself, an’ indeed, when me got back ‘ome me boss told me, me ‘ad to give a contract to one of da emperor’s magistrates, because me boss wanted to deliver da silk for da imperial ooniforms. Me conclusion is: Xizang is a beautiful city, much more impressive, than Shoon-Yoong, but me would like more to live in Shoon-Yoong, because it is more fun there.

extratct from the book “ about Cathay”, by Grishna, a hobgoblin lackey who fled from the tyranny of Hobgobla Kahn