Starting on August 21st there have been an increasing amount of ninja sightings in the chicagoland area. Paticularly in the pleasant little town of Arlington Heights, right on the border on Mt. Prospect.
Ninja sighting #1:
The intersection known as Gregory and Evanston. A black figure leaped out of a moving car and proceeded to run into the darkness until unseen.
Ninja sighting #2:
The Klepek household on Evanston street. This sighting was more than just that, but more of an attack. Several high school students were conversing about the school newspaper in an upstairs bedroom when all of a sudden a masked figure appeared in the upstairs window. Mass chaos was enduced. The students were filled with fear and awe as the ninjas proceeded to make periodical sightings outside the house. There were two ninjas that were spotted, one a little shorter than the other. At one point the ninjas penetrated the household and fucked with the minds of the students. This barrage of assaults lasted more than 2 hours and luckily ended without anyone's head being cut off or worse.
Ninja sighting #3:
This sighting was no longer than the first. A mere gilmpse of ninjas. It happened at the end of one of the Prospect marching bands practices. There were seen amongst the bushes along Dale street. They only passed through and then they were out of sight.
Ninja sighting #4:
An afternoon sighting, as the sun departed a ninja came into public view at a high school soccer game. Many gazed at the ninja in awe as he casually walked into the outdoor stadium and sat in the bleachers next to some high school students to watch the game. The students acted like they knew the ninja to be a friend. As if the ninja was merely one of their comrades dressed up to amuse people. It was obvious that this was untrue and the ninja simply played along with their game so as not to cause conflict. This way the ninja kept its true identity hidden. At the end of the game the ninja left with his temporary companions until it disappeared under the bleachers, only to reappear on the other end of the stadium, in a matter of seconds. The ninja then dazzled viewers with ninjitsu tactics and kung-fu mastery. After this the ninja spead of into the parking lot never to be seen again that night.
Ninja sighting #5
One rainy afternoon two ninjas lurked in the darkness of what was still left of daylight. They approached Prospect High School in search of what? I do not know. However they did not care who saw them. They were fearless as all ninjas are. They walked around the perimeter of the south end of the school to the main entrance, where they wished to enter. The door was locked and the two were let in by some students still lingering in the school commons after school hours. The one who opened the door remembered one of the ninjas saying something to her as he entered, it appeared to be said in plain manner and of foreign tongue. As the ninjas proceeded, students fled at their presence. The mere sight of the ninjas striked fear in their souls. Some were frozen still, others nervously walked away, even ran. The horror ended as the ninjas walked strait ahead and out another exit, into the school parking lot. Ninjas are nothing to mess with, it is no wonder all those people almost shit their pants when they saw the ninjas.
Ninja sighting #6
What could be cooler and more kick ass than ninjas? That's right, ninjas wailing on guitars. On Sunday, October 6 the Bling Bling Ninjas did just that. They took the stage in Jesse St. Dennis' garage, and rocked the socks off a maximum of 20 on lookers. The set was loud, obnoxious, and above all sucked balls. For about 15 minutes the Bling Bling Ninjas irritated and disturbed anyone within a 50 foot radius. It was awesome. The ninja's played 5 songs that lacked musical and lyrical depth. Or maybe its just cus it all sounded like shit. Perhaps the original intent was not as bad, but their live performance sure pissed me off.....Ninjas can wail on guitars and make me shit my pants any day.
Ninja sighting #7
Apparently ninjas have friends other than other ninjas. One afternoon a ninja was spotted exiting a house with two male teenagers. They exited into the backyard of the house and proceeded to film a movie of sorts that they were working on. The ninja seemed to be cooperating with the two men, instead of cutting their heads off in a drunken rage. This is what surprised me. During the filming words from the ninja's mouth were overheard. A few distinct ones were "NUTSACK!" and "COCKASS."My perplexion was slightly put at ease when later on the ninja assaulted one of the men. It was quick and extremely random. No one was safe from his wrath, except maybe the camera man. Apparently the ninja was willing to be photographed. It must have been for a worthy purpose.
Ninja Sighting #8
It seems that ninjas may be entering a sort of "ninja renaissance" for lack of better words. This is only assumed due to the increasing amount of film making going on including ninjas. Another sighting was made on the corner of Dale and N.W. Highway near a construction sight. Two teenagers in a truck spotted them when driving by. They turned around twice to catch another glance of the ninja. Finally they stopped and asked what was going on, the ninja replied with "Not much, filming a movie, move along." The stupid kids did not move along, they were lucky the ninja did not fuck them up royally. They drove closer and stared dumbfoundedly. Realizing they were a couple of jackasses, the kids kicked it in reverse and speed the fuck out of there to leave the ninja to its business.
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