A Tribute to Matt, Yet Another Guy I Don't Even Know
Matthew Perkins is a guy. He is a guy who's going to Germany after Christmas. "Matt," as he is commonly referred to as, really likes to eat peanut butter while watching movies with Edward Norton. Does he think Mr. Norton is good-looking? Let's hope not because that would just be gay. Does he think Liz is good-looking? ... I don't know... Let's hope he does... or else Liz is gonna have to regulate.
"Matt" drinks beer... he probably even drank beer before he was 21 (he's 22 now), but I can't say that for certain and I don't want to get beaten up. Can you guess where he likes to drink his beer? That's right! At a bar... where they serve beer. He drinks coffee, too... which he enjoys to no end... So, "Matt," if you were stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life and could only drink beer or coffee, which would you choose and why? Please answer this question in a standard five-paragraph essay and email it to me at [email protected].
A few other things about "Matt" are that he likes the band, Pearl Jam, plays trombone, and thinks souvenirs are dumb.
"Matt" is a wuss for not asking Liz out, even though Liz never gave him her phone number. For that, Liz is a wuss, too.