Yes, that’s right, Gus and the gang are in Delaware. You may have thought I was kidding, but apparently Delaware is the greatest place in the world, for buying expensive stuff without paying taxes. Gus went there mainly to buy a really expensive skateboard, because he was thinking about taking up skating. He got a board and started messing around with it. Right after learing how to stand on it without falling off right away, he entered a contest, despite Greeno’s cruel remarks about his inabilities.

He entered into the “Mystery Skaters Championship” competition, which is a thing where everyone has to where a bag over their heads and skate around aimlessly. The winner is the only one left standing. Gus trained for 3 full minutes in the week before the contest. The day had finally come.

He woke up and got prepared right away. He forced Germany to drive him to the competition. Not having a car, Gus also forced him to steal one. Once Germany was back, they were on their way out again. They arrived, and it was obvious the competition would be tough. Gus looked out upon the vast reaches of the course, and almost fainted. Never before had he seen such immense effort used to entertain people, except those times he made the Broccoli people do things for him, in which case they had to waste a lot of effort. But anyway, the course must have been at least 50 feet long by 40 feet wide. He had to squint to see the far wall, not because it was so big, but because he had a problem with his eyes.

He decided to get onto the course. He stood there, in both patience and anxiousness, without knowing how that was possible. But he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was the fact that he had to win. The buzzer rang. Within moments, the bag was on his head, he started moving, and he fell. It was utterly humiliating. To add to that, Greeno, Fred, and Germany, who he had forced to come, were all laughing at him.He lay there for about 15 minutes, when the champion was declared.

He got up, looking down, attempting not to make eye contact with anyone. But then, someone called out “Hey idiot!,” which tricked him into looking up. He needed to regain his position as a stranger, or better yet, a respected member of society. And he already had a plan. So far, the plan was to get home without looking like an idiot, and then regroup and come up with another plan.

Always being good at failing at things, Gus was in no position to stop now. As he was getting into his car, he tripped and hit his leg against the window somehow. He now lay on the ground, moaning and crying pitifully. As he got up, he saw Fred getting into the driver’s seat. He was like “Hey!,” and then demanded that he drive. Not being one to argue with a crazy guy, Fred calmly obliged. And then, to add to his embarrasment, Gus crashed into a tree. He then sped off, sobbing like a little girl who had just broke off her dolly’s head by accident.

Once he was back home, Gus decided the best way to gain respect would be to run for mayor of whatever town it was that he was in. He bought some stickers and buttons and such, and then went to the media. He explained to them about his “thoughts on the major issues,” which, of course, he made up as he went along. He ran as a democrat, and made his first duty as candidate to kill all of the republicans. All of the democrats rejoiced along with the peasants who were of course always rejoicing, as good peasants should.

Needless to say, he won the election by a landslide. He decided that since he had respect now, he could retire with dignity, so he resigned in the middle of his acceptance speech. Thinking it to be a joke, everyone laughed at this remark. He, however, was serious. Greeno then arrived in another stolen plane, not wanting to use the old one because he didn’t like the idea of reusing things. Well, anyway, he took Gus away, and they flew back to their stolen home, crashing into it and making them find another to steal.

Gus gave Germany this job, and by the end of the day, he had stolen the mansion of the richest late republican of the town. Unfortunately for them, it was haunted by the dead owner. Gus got him to come back to life somehow, only to kill him really far away so it wouldn’t come back. HAHAHAHA, the day was his. Well, anyway, now that that was taken care of, he had nothing to do. This in mind, he cut off Germany’s leg. He didn’t know why, and no one asked because he had seemingly just cut off someone’s leg for no reason, and what kind of a moron would question him.

All of the sudden, while he was minding his business, sitting in his east chair, a dolphin attacked him. One hundred twenty-six thoughts went through his head in 5.4 seconds. Fear, danger, confusion, anger, denial, and lust, which actually brought more confusion, all entered his mind. Then, after all that, he looked up and saw Fred holding a little stupid Beanie Baby dolphin. Soon after, it had no head. He put the head on the hood of his stolen Mercedes to show that, 1, he shows no mercy, and 2, he is very intellegent. To tie these things together, he would show no mercy to anyone who asked how it was supposed to show intellegence. Then he would laugh, because he is just that evil.

This somehow gave him an idea. He would melt pennies and mold them into slightly smaller pennies, then he would become rich from all of the extra pennies that were made by the spare copper. According to Germany’s calculations, for every fifty thousand pennies he did this to, he would earn a whole dollar. Then, according to Greeno’s random guesses, Gus would make $20 for every 5 pennies he melted. As a result of this, Gus smacked Germany and gave Greeno a dollar.

He stole 12 million dollars from some guy (he didn’t care enough to notice who), and the took it to the bank to get it turned into pennies. He then proceeded to melt all the pennies somehow and make them slightly smaller. However, thanks to his “excellent” craftmanship, he wasn’t good enough to make pennies. He decided intstead to hire someone to make a large copper statue of him.

The guy was all like, “Hey, it’ll cost you $23,000 for this statue to be made,” and then Gus was all like, “Oh no you didn’t,” and then the guy was like, “Oh yes I did,” and then Gus was like, “I’ll give you five bucks and we’ll call it even.” The guy agreed, deciding that he could just do a horrible job, and then steal some of the copper. Before the deal was sealed, the guy made it clear that his work would not be seen by anyone until the day it was complete

So, after a month or two, or something, no one really kept track, the statue was done. It must have been the ugliest thing on the face of the earth. Not even a second had gone by after Gus saw it before he was telling Germany to kill him. After he did that, the gun used was melted on the statue, they stole a rocket from NASA, and launched the whole mess out into space. Then, they all went to the doctor to get their eyes and hands professionally cleaned, so that no part of them had anything to do with it. Seriously, it was bad.

Days, weeks, even months went by without a single memorable thing happening to Gus, Greeno, Fred, or Germany. They just sat and did relaxed. Gus started trying to skate again, and actually managed to ride for a whole minute without falling. Seeing this, Greeno yelled out “Gus,” which caused him to fall. He laughed and laughed until Gus hit him shortly after.

Well, anyway, nothing important happened for a while. Then, all of the sudden, a large car drove by their house. It bothered them since it was so loud. This was not anything important. So, still nothing happened worthwhile, until a month later, Gus started to get excessively bored. He was sitting around as usual, watching Germany sleep (yes, he was that bored), and he decided to conquer Delaware. He started by applying as a candidte for governer. He followed this up with campaigning and seriousness. The only part he did foolishly was deciding his standing on the issues, which he did by throwing darts at a board, which, he was told, was how the rest of the politicians do this anyway. After running and failing miserably, he decided that he would trap everyone underground and then just walk around, claiming themselves as leaders. The president was too busy dealing with the missing mountain in Germany to care about what they were doing.

In the following month, Gus started an “underground summer camp,” in which people would go underground and sit there. With all of the “excellent” things to do otherwise in Delaware, they were pleased to do that. So, after he got everyone in there, he just covered up the only exit with a sign that said “Detour ----->,” pointing at a long, dark tunnel, and a few tons of nuclear waste, labeled as such, deterring them from wanting to pass.

All of this done, Gus had power to do anything he wanted, given that he could trick Greeno, Germany, and Fred into believing was a good idea, which was ridiculously easy. So, his first order of business was to loot everyone’s houses and sell it all to Marylanders. In total, it was worth about $45,000, which is really bad, considering that they sold everything in an entire state. Well, anyway, they used the money to build a giant raft, about a tenth of the size of the state. They loaded all of the houses onto it, except for four really big ones for themselves, and sailed it off into the Atlantic.

Legend has it that the houses crashed into a never before seen island, and formed colonies, but that doesn’t make sense, and I just made that up right now.

So, in their big houses, they worked long and hard to build cool things that would knock them down. The best one, Greeno’s “Majorbenating Treehoponizer” was used to destroy all of the four remaining houses. They found a plane that they had somehow not seen before, got it ready to go, released the Delawarians, and were gone before someone could say “Look, there they go,” which many people did say.