Apparently, Gus didn’t die when I said he did in the last story. He would have probably died from the wild Broccoli people’s attacks, but he doesn’t seem to be able to. In addition, one of the Broccoli people, Greeno, survived the unfortunate mass death of his people. So, Gus and Greeno lived on in Gus’ empire of Asia, Africa, and the Middle East.

Then one day, they were exiled for causing trouble. Apparently, the people they took over didn’t want to be killed for no reason. So, they left for bigger and better things. After living in a gutter for a couple of months, they decided to get jobs. Gus became the bag boy for a supermarket and Greeno became a supermodel for sickos with fetishes about broccoli. They were having a blast. Well, at least Greeno was.

Depressed by his terrible job, Gus had a conference with Greeno. They (Gus) came to the decision that Greeno needed to learn how to reproduce assexually so that Gus could have another army. He searched for a class he could take to learn this skill. After days of looking, he finally found one. He went there only to find it was a just some stupid little rich kid who was messing with people.

Gus made Greeno learn to reproduce assexually by himself since he was obviously not looking hard enough in the paper. After studying plants and bugs, Greeno decided that it was impossible, since he didn’t have the right “equipment.” Then, Gus spoke up.

“You idiot! Broccoli people don’t have sex, so they obviously have to reproduce assexually.”

“You’re the idiot! We had sex all the time. We just told you we didn’t because you would have insisted on watching!”

“So why don’t you have sex with one of the other Broccoli people?”

“Because they all died, remember?”

“Oh yeah, so why don’t you bring one of them back to life?”

Greeno looked at Gus as if to say “You are a moron.” Then he screamed, “BECAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, IDIOT!!!!!”

A little offset by this outrage, Gus replied, “Oh, right. I forgot. Well, why don’t we try to get some people to have sex with regular broccoli? That would work, right?”

Again, Greeno did not seem to like Gus’ question. He shouted, “NOT ONLY IS THAT SICK AND IMPOSSIBLE, WE KILLED ALL OF THE REGULAR BROCCOLI A LONG TIME AGO. ARE YOU DENSE?”

“Huh, maybe, I’m not really sure what that means. But why did you kill all the regular broccoli?”

“BECAUSE YOU MADE US!”

“Oh, right. So, umm, now what?”

“You could try giving up your stupid ambition of having an army of Broccoli people.”

“Or, we could run around the Earth over the International Timeline the wrong way over and over again so we go back in time, back before the Broccoli people were dead.”

“That wouldn’t work!”

“How would you know? Have you ever tried it?”

“Well, I guess you’ve got me there. But how could we go around the Earth quick enough for us to go back in time? We would have to go around in less than a day for any progress”

“Hmm, we could go down to the South Pole so it’s a shorter distance.”

“Ok then. Let’s go.”

They go down to the South Pole and run around enough so that Desua Johansen was just killed. They then caught a plane to Gus’ empire, which was really his again. They got there just in time to see all the Broccoli people die. However, Greeno was still alive. They decided that since Greeno was going to survive everytime, and not the rest of the Broccoli people, and since Greeno was one of the strongest Broccoli people, that they would just keep going back in time just far enough for them to get Greeno.

After a thousand repetitions, Gus had an army of strong Broccoli people. He told them to march to the airport and steal a plane. They went there, and after at least three hours, they decided that planes are way too heavy to steal. You would need something to get into the air somehow. After Gus smacked every last one of them, he explained to them the concept of an “airplane.”

“You see,” explained Gus, “an ‘airplane’ is used to ‘fly’ in the ‘air.’ Once in the ‘air,’ it would be easier to ‘steal.’”

“But Gus,” said Greeno #329,“why do you keep doing those air quotes? They’re really stupid. I don’t respect you anymore.”

“You don’t respect me?!?! That’s insane. You’re all a bunch of ‘idiots’. I’m using ‘air quotes’ because you Broccoli people obviously don’t ‘think.’”

“Well, if you wanted smart Broccoli people,” said Greeno #1, who was illogically smarter than the others, “we should have gone back a couple minutes earlier so that we could have saved other Broccoli people, instead of the same one.”

“Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to kill these idiots,” Gus said as if the others weren’t there. “The world will be better off without an army of them anyway.”

“Do we have to? I like them. They remind me of me, and they’re idiots, so I look smarter by association. If we kill them, I’ll become a model again and have all the other models kill you.”

Not wanting to die, Gus decided they could live. After a few weeks, the Broccoli people finally stole a plane. They all got in and started to fly. Unfortunately, Greeno #58, who was in charge of filling up the gas tank decided to sleep since he couldn’t understand Gus’s orders. Apparently, the air quotes helped him understand, but after #329’s fourth outburst against them, Gus agreed to stop.

Well, anyway, Greeno #58’s inability to follow orders resulted in a totaled plane, 987 Broccoli people dead, 12 injured, and Gus and Greeno #1 miraculously alive. After mourning over the dead Broccoli people, Gus and Greeno #1 shot and killed the rest of the Broccoli people for reasons unknown, especially since Greeno seemed to have liked his relatives.

This out of the way, Greeno decided to go back and live in his homeland. Gus agreed to take him there as soon as they got another plane. They lived where they crashed, in Afghanistan, for a few weeks. Once they stole another plane, they left for Greeno’s home. Sadly, neither of them knew where this was, and each thought the other knew. After flying for 23 years, they decided that Greeno’s homeland was the Cayman Islands, since that’s where they ended up and they were too lazy to leave.

Once they got situated, they started yelling at the natives to get off their lazy butts and get jobs, as they realized that everyone was poor. Everyone else was saying things like, “Hey, that’s a great idea. I’m going to get myself a job.” Gus and Greeno were pleased with their accomplishment, so they celebrated by pretending to be wallet inspectors and stealing everyone’s wallets.

So now, all the people were broke and tired, the former from the “wallet inspectors,” and the latter from working all the time. Since Gus and Greeno were now living with a bunch of people who would eventually want to kill them once they realized what was done to them, they went off to California to start a new luxurious life.

This time, they decided to have some fun traveling. They made a phone out of leaves and dirt, and called for a cab in California. They offered to pay eleventy billion dollars for a ride. Sadly, everyone they called either wanted an actual dollar amount, rather than a made-up number, or they decided it was too hard.

So, they decided to take a cruise. They got on the boat, and went to sleep. When they woke up, they were in the water. Apparently, they had chosen a cruise from island natives. They were smarter natives, so they realized the scam and took action. So, Gus and Greeno comedically ran away from them all the way over the ocean, to California. And it was there that they lived for a while, unless I decided to write another story, in which case they’ll probably leave and go somewhere else before the beginning of the next story.