There once was a town of Broccoli people, and all they did was wander around and be bored. All of a sudden, Gus appeared. He told them, �Hey, I�m going to tell you what to do, and then you won�t be bored.�

The said �Arrggghhh.�

After careful thought, he realized that they probably didn�t speak English, which was understandable, being that they were half-broccoli, and broccoli can�t talk. So, he started hitting them until they learned. Surprisingly, this didn�t work, so he tried saying something, and then pointing to the object he said. Realizing how long this would take, and how hard it would be to find something like a television in the middle of a primitive island to point to, he came up with another plan.

After years of thinking, he decided to hit them some more. Well, actually, it was about a day or two, but it felt like years to him. Well, anyway, he attacked them, and after a couple days, they realized he was trying to communicate with them somehow, so they started listening. It only took them a week to learn the entire English language, since they were apparently a pretty smart race.

Well, after learning English, they appointed Gus their king. The Broccoli people thought that since he forced them into learning something unnecessary so easily, he would be good with negotiations. Sadly, this was not the case. Apparently, he was a complete moron. Gus didn�t care that he couldn�t negotiate, however, since his goal in teaching them English was to get them to do stuff for him, and now he could.

His daily rituals were reduced to waking up, telling people to do unusual things (such as burying water, raking sand, and smacking each other), eating, and then going to sleep. This was great fun for the first couple of months, but he soon grew bored. Soon after the boredom started, he decided to declare war on the regular broccoli, claiming that they were trying to shine in the Broccoli people�s reflected glory.

Not knowing how to rebel against killing related vegetables, they started attacking. Then, Gus told them to eat the broccoli. They were sad for a while because they were committing cannibalism, but soon obeyed. They continued to eat the broccoli with no end in sight. Later that day, they stopped, as there was no regular broccoli left.

Now it was clear that Gus had an army of Broccoli people to do his bidding. After broccoli was extinct, the Gus gave them another mission. They had to conquer all of the farms on the island and convert them to large villages of acorns. Gus knew he would have a lot of fun with his army. Unfortunately, he had run out of fun ideas for them, so he decided to make them construct a large boat to move to a more populous area. They went to Antarctica and found nothing but ice. Then they tried Florida, but it smelled too much like old people. Finally, they found their way to Cuba and met Fidel Castro. They asked him for something useful to do.

�Destroy the American government, and I will reward you handsomely,� said Castro.

Gus was going to do this, but just as he was leaving, he heard Castro mention something about eating a nice broccoli dinner when someone returned. He didn�t put it together that Castro was going to eat the army of Broccoli people, but he didn�t like the idea of anyone eating any broccoli, which is why he had it all killed. As a result of this, Gus ran back in and stole Castro�s wallet, making good use of the super-human speed that he didn�t know he had. He now had some money, and there was an evil leader of Cuba that wanted him dead. The latter in mind, he took the Broccoli people to Yemen, where they would make good use of their various skills, i.e. their ability to confuse people by changing topics without letting the other person know.

The plan was to get there, confuse some people, and maybe steal some more money. However, once they got there, it was clear that there was a gang of Appletarts in control which were very unwelcoming. They decided to use their plan earlier than expected.

�We don�t take kindly to Broccoli folks around here,� said Apple Pie, the ruler of the Appletarts.

�Well we don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly around here,� replied Gus.

�That doesn�t mean anything, this is our land.�

�Yeah, he is a good singer�

�What?!�

�No. that wouldn�t work.�

�Would you shut up?�

�I got a hole in one on a par four in golf last week.�

After five minutes of this illogical conversation, Apple Pie gave up, realizing that he had no chance in winning this argument. Apparently, Gus had negotiating skills, just not good or applicable ones.

After they had removed all traces of Appletarts from Yemen, a dark man appeared. Then Gus shot him because he was obviously homeless, and Gus didn�t want poverty in his new home. Then, another dark man appeared, with cleaner looking clothes, and Gus decided not to shoot him, and then maybe to see what this one wanted. The man spoke in a quiet voice, so Gus told him to speak up. It turns out that his name is Desua Johansen and he is the former ruler of Yemen, from the days before the Appletarts came into power, which was a few weeks ago. He was so overwhelmed by their pleasant aroma that he never expected them to be so powerful. He asked very kindly for his land back.

Gus hadn�t been in power for more than 5 minutes, but he could tell that he didn�t want to give up his position. But since it was obvious that this man was kind, he decided to conquer a nice plot of land in Qatar for Desua. Within an hour, the Broccoli people were pillaging towns and destroying buildings throughout Yemen. Gus quickly reprimanded them, as they were supposed to be conquering Qatar, not their own land. They were clearly not as smart as they had seemed to be back in their homeland. Perhaps the air where they had lived gave them skills. No, probably not.

Once they started attacking the right country, they had it conquered relatively fast (before nightfall). Gus was about to give the land to Desua, but he realized how easy it was to conquer land. He decided to move Desua to England and buy him a seat in Parliament with the money he stole from Fidel Castro. Once he returned to Yemen, he continued his reign of terror.

In the next six months, Gus and his army of Broccoli people had conquered all of Africa and Asia. Gus then realized that he had meant to stop after obtaining the entire Arabian Peninsula. Disappointed by his unnecessary conquest, he decided to go back and retrieve Desua Johansen from England and give him control of everything he didn�t want, since a bunch of Broccoli people tend to have trouble retaining control of such a large area of land. It was surprising enough that they were able to get so much land without anyone trying to stop them.

After giving up the land, Gus realized that his men had improved in number as well as strength, so they had the ability to protect all of that area, meaning it wasn�t just luck. He immediately decided to send his best Broccoli to assassinate Desua. This being done, Gus reclaimed control of all of the land he once had. The Broccoli people rebelled at how mean this act was, so they killed him and lived happily ever after until they all died that afternoon for various reasons.