"There are two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" - Martin Luther King
"White people fucked up the blues." - George Carlin
"Life is devided into the horrible and the miserable." - Woddy Allen
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
"I was so poor growing up... If I wasn't a boy... I wouldn't have nothing to play with." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Black holes are where God devided by zero." - Steven Wright
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death"
- H H Munro
"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end." - Igor Stravinsky
"I've had a wonderfull time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
"You know that one look women want when they want to have sex? Me neither." - Steve Martin
"My one regret is life is that I am not someone else." - Woddy Alen
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa
"A man can't be too carefull in the choice of his enemies." - Oscar Wilde
"Half this game is 90% mental." - Yogi Berra
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
- Woddy Allen
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to them." - Steve Martin
"A woman's mind is clearer than a man's. She changes it more often."
- Oliver Herford