There are times in life when a man needs to reconsider his chosen profession. It may not be that his present line of work is unfulfilling, but often prospects for advancement are limited and the outlook for growth, bleak. This is when he must step back and examine himself and ponder his place in life.

     Take for instance, the case of Ronnie Darnell Bell, who attempted to hold up the Federal Reserve Bank in Dallas. You see, as the printer and repository for U.S. greenbacks, the Federal Reserve isn't exactly your typical community, full-service branch savings-and-loan with a drive-through window. It has no tellers. It has no ATM. What it does have is an abundance of armed guards...the kind who tote machine guns.

     Mr. Bell strode into the bank and not finding a teller, handed the guard his note. He couldn't have been clearer...or more polite. It read:

"This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank, of Dallas, Texas, give me all the money.

--Thank You,
Ronnie Darnell Bell."

     I blame it on El Niño. Well, at least, he said, "Please." He even struck up a conversation with the guard (as the latter pressed an alarm button), explaining that it was, in fact his second robbery attempt of the day. He had tried to rob a post office, but had been thrown out.

     Now you might think that Mr. Bell would now have plenty of time to think about a new career. But I'll bet he gets time off for good behavior.
 
 

Acknowledgments: 35, 36

© Russ Brown, 1998