We would rather go through life crippled than, God forbid, ugly. Tiny feet were prized in China, so painful foot bindings were performed. Ancient Egyptians practiced head flattening. In other cultures, neck stretching, ear lobe and lip distortions are considered marks of beauty. Dangerously constrictive corsets were all the rage in Victorian times. Some of the more fashion conscious even had their lower ribs removed to attain wasp-waisted perfection.

     Of course, today we know better. You'll get no argument that those practices were barbaric. It's just that we enjoy having our bodies pierced, our hair pulled out by the roots, walking around in shoes two sizes too small...and those stiletto heels are so practical! Many disdain tattoos as distasteful; they prefer to paint their faces every day...although I hear that permanent make-up is on the rise. To be sure, all those diet commercials are just public service announcements.

    The problem is that we've forgotten the three “R”s,—Renoir and relaxation. Do yourself a favor, have seconds.

© Russ Brown, 1998