Bureaucracy Inaction

     The story is told of a Louisiana farmer who wanted an FHA loan. His lawyer traced the land title back to 1803, submitting the abstract and loan application to the Federal Housing Administration. Reportedly, the lawyer received this reply:

"We received today your letter enclosing application for your client, supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you have not traced the titles back of the year, 1803, and before final approval, it will be necessary that the titles be traced back of that year.

"Yours truly..."

     The lawyer then dictated the following letter to the FHA:

"Gentlemen:

"Your letter regarding titles received. I note you wish titles to extend further than I have done them.

"I was unaware that any educated man failed to know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803. The title of the land was acquired by France by right of conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by right of discovery made in 1492 by a Spanish-Portuguese sailor named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by Queen Isabella.

"The good Queen, being a pious woman and careful about title (almost as careful, I might say, as the FHA), took the precaution of securing the blessings of the Pope of Rome upon the voyage before she sold her jewels to help Columbus.

"Now the Pope, as you know is the emissary of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, made the world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to assume that He also made that part of the United States called Louisiana, and I hope to h--l you are satisfied!"

     I have no idea whether or not the loan went through.

Acknowledgments: 15

© Russ Brown, 1998