Lament for a Broken Funny Bone

I believe it was sometime during the first century, A.D., that Juvenal (stand-up philosopher and all-around good guy) observed Rome as that once great society which at last longed only for bread and circuses. According to the Politically Correct People (referred to hereafter as "P.C.P."...an oddly appropriate acronym), this Dead White European Male trespassed on at least seven counts. He had the effrontery to lament a militaristic and imperialistic society which perpetuated slavery, capital punishment, violent sport, as well as the cruel treatment of animals (throwing all those Christians to the lions). Of course, in the selective world of the P.C.P., treatment of the Christians wouldn't count. Ipso facto, they would say that Rome (and all of western civilization, for that matter) was (and is) doomed, doomed, doomed. Yet the western Empire stood another 400 years, and the eastern Empire almost another thousand. It wasn't until a Roman general commented that Atilla the Hun was short and ugly that the real trouble began. It has also been speculated that Alexander the Great died depressed and muddy drunk. I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't decadence which laid waste to the great civilizations of the past, but losing their sense of humor. There's just no future in being Humorously Challenged.

Read your Bible. You'll find that the LORD seems to appreciate occasional comic relief. Indeed, Issac means "God has made me laugh" (Genesis 21:6). 90-year old Sarah thought the LORD was kidding when she overheard that she would have a son by her 100-year old husband. Not only did Baalam's donkey speak, but the cursed prophet-for-hire argued with her...and lost. It's unfortunate that a lot of Biblical humor is lost in today's context, either via translation or technology. In its day, Christ's Parable of the Foolish Virgins was a whopper, just short of today's how-many-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb. As I understand it, His comparison of a rich man's entrance into the kingdom of heaven to the camel going through the eye of a needle was a triple entendre in the vernacular. I'm sure Jesus had to smile to himself when he told Peter to catch a fish because in it he would find a coin with which to pay their taxes. In fact, Christ played a bit of a practical joke on his disciples when he walked on water. The Gospel of Mark records that He didn't go directly to the boat but would have passed by. Only after His disciples thought they had seen a ghost did He tell them to chill. Verily, I say unto you that the LORD chose Paul at all shows tremendous appreciation for irony. Frankly, I wonder whether Goliath ever knew what hit him; upon seeing a skinny, half-naked boy coming after him with a slingshot, he may well have died laughing.

Face it, everyone needs a good laugh now and then to get along in this world. Even nations realize this. In the US, for instance, the government sponsors elections every couple of years for public amusement. The Japanese go in for fisticuffs on the floor of their parliament, and the British...well, they have the Royal Family. Unfortunately, so many people take themselves so seriously these days that nothing, and I mean NOTHING may be uttered except it first be tested for correctness, filtered through the gores of significance and sopped in sensitivity. Thus a once rich language is emasculated and wit dies of festering boredom. The world grows older, a bit staler, more sedentary...and our collective arteries slowly begin to harden.

Medically speaking, laughter involves a release of nervous tension. By its very nature, comedy involves some risk, requiring an object at which to poke, point, prod or tickle. Stan Freberg once recorded a routing about the revision of the song, "Old Man River", so as not to offend modern sensibilities. In it a network censor constantly interrupts the singer, demanding endless changes: "old" became "elderly"; "sweat" was too harsh and was modified to "perspire." Grammar and pronunciation had to be absolutely correct, as impressionable children might be listening. Thus the sanitized end product read something like this:

          "Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River,
           He must know something, but doesn't say anything.
           He just keeps rollin' (excuse me) rolling along...

You and I perspire and strain...
Carry that barge! Lift that bale! You get a little..."

At which point the frustrated singer storms out, not being able to think of an inoffensive synonym for "drunk". Sadly, this routine was recorded decades ago, yet could easily serve as a primer for a promising young (pardon me, differently matured) PCP.

Of course, there are the schlockstick comedians who rate their acts in terms of obscenities per hour. Personally, I don't think base vulgarity gets a lot of mileage. Some may consider it funny; I'm sure there are those who thought The Hundred Years War a riot. If I want to get my jollies by hearing some animal scream four-letter words at a drunk and disorderly audience, I'll visit the county lock-up on Saturday night. Vulgarity is nothing new, nor particularly clever. It's been displayed on bathroom walls for years. Even toilet humor has it limits. One especially eloquent piece of graffiti I once read summed it up rather nicely: "Obscenity is the literary crutch of inarticulate S.O.B.s."

Granted, humor is relative. The guy who slipped on the banana peel probably didn't enjoy the trip...but now it's his turn. Oliver now has the option of throwing a cream pie in the face of Stanley, who thoughtlessly dropped the peel in the first place, or at the loudmouth bystander, who guffawed at is misfortune. Better for fun to fly than fur. Jokes poke fun at foibles and usually need a little action to go with them. People are funny. Fruits and vegetables rarely are (and any activist who takes exception here has a warped imagination). When was the last time you heard a real knee-slapper about a rutabaga (outside Iowa, I mean).

Lighten up, people! In the words of Red Skelton, "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive."

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